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Original poster

Toilet privacy with a 4 year old

13 replies

username3058282 · 27/03/2022 17:50

DD is 4 and knows with DH not to go into the bathroom. However with me she still regularly comes in when I'm on the toilet/shower. It's more because I have a 2 year old DD and do not feel comfortable shutting the door especially when I am in shower and might not hear them.
Would you say she is at the age where this is inappropriate?

OP posts:

Thewindwhispers · 27/03/2022 17:52

Up to you. I let DS use the bath when I’m on the loo / brush his teeth while I shower. He’s nine. It isn’t something our family care about much; others feel differently.

BertieBotts · 27/03/2022 17:54

It's tricky when you have to keep the door open to listen for little ones and DH doesn't have that expectation because he probably doesn't have them alone for as long.

It doesn't really bother me but I'm sure at 4 you could say please wait outside, I would like privacy. Knowing 4yos though that will work half the time and the rest it will be a red rag to a bull it might be best to wait until you feel comfortable closing the door and just doing that rather than trying to make an issue out of it.

VladmirsPoutine · 27/03/2022 18:02

Thing is if the door is open anyway and you tell her not to come in when you're in there it might go in one ear and straight out of the other. I'd wait till you can reasonably close the door then have a discussion on privacy vis a vis going into the bathroom when someone else is in there.

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Iamkmackered1979 · 27/03/2022 18:03

Why is it ok for her to come in with you but not with dad? You’re sending mixed messages, either don’t let them in or do but explain at an age appropriate level that some people prefer privacy. I live with my 4 sons only female so not much I could do. I do remember one asking where my Willy was. Just be honest and explain the differences and if your husband prefers privacy lock the door?…

Notanotherwindow · 27/03/2022 18:14

@Iamkmackered1979. Oh yes I remember the days of walking down the street with a child asking incessantly as people passed us 'has he got a willy?'
Yes he's a boy so he's got a willy.
'Has she got a willy?'
No girls don't have willies
'Has nanny got a willy?'
No. Nanny is a girl. Shut up.

NrlySp · 27/03/2022 18:39

No. Why can’t she go into the bathroom when her father is in there? At that age it’s completely innocent. You could even argue it’s a way for children to understand male and female bodies are different and answer the innocent questions children ask.
I would say over 7/8
What does she do when her or Dad out for the day with only her Dad and one of them needs the toilet?

Original poster

username3058282 · 27/03/2022 20:40

@NrlySp

No. Why can’t she go into the bathroom when her father is in there? At that age it’s completely innocent. You could even argue it’s a way for children to understand male and female bodies are different and answer the innocent questions children ask. I would say over 7/8 What does she do when her or Dad out for the day with only her Dad and one of them needs the toilet?

I come from quite a traditional household where I definitely never once went in the bathroom when my parents were in there. DH backgrounds similar but due to religious reasons. He is more of this view whereas I'm more relaxed about it. Good point really he works 5 days a week then we are all off at the weekends and go out as a family. I normally just take DD in the toilet with me. I don't think it's happened much recently that he's been in that situation just him and DD. I know in the past she has gone into the toilet with him.

OP posts:

Cocomarine · 27/03/2022 20:51

What do you mean by appropriate?
Is she old enough to wait if you want privacy? Definitely.
Is it appropriate for her to come in if neither of you mind?
Of course it is.

Blackbird2020 · 27/03/2022 20:52

Omg don’t come to our house 😂 We have zero privacy when it comes to using the bathroom. DS is still in and out when I’m in the shower etc and he’s 12!

I think it’s lovely that children don’t have hang ups about seeing naked bodies / being naked around their family. It’s literally just a body.

Duracellbunnywannabe · 27/03/2022 20:55

When either of you are unhappy with the situation is when it’s no longer appropriate.

ScrumptiousBears · 27/03/2022 20:56

I don't massively mind my DD 6 & 8 coming in when I'm on the loo or in the shower privacy wise. I think for me it's more about getting 5 minutes to myself.

thebabynanny · 27/03/2022 20:57

I don't want kids in the bathroom with me so never have, since a few weeks old.

If you don't want children in the bathroom close the door, and just keep reiterating that you leave people alone when they're on the toilet/in the shower.

ThatsALotOfPassionfruit · 27/03/2022 21:45

In the shower I don’t mind but it’s a flat no for me on the the toilet front. Going for a wee I can just about manage but anything else I lock the door. I don’t want an audience while having a poo or emptying my mooncup.
This has always been the case though, they just have to wait or talk to me through the door if they really have to

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