Help me to understand

[GirlsTalk250]

Please help me to understand this situation.

The last Mothers Day my bro & I took DM out. We agreed in advance that we would pay half each. Bill came and I put my card down. Bro did nothing, I asked him to put his card down, he just smirked and announced he needed the loo. Waiter came to take card, and I asked him to wait. Bro returned and I reminded him half each. He refused. DM told me I was making a ridiculous fuss and embarrassing her, DM and bro got up and left arm in arm leaving me with the bill. She didn’t speak to me for a month.

Background is that last time we’d taken her out, bro & I agreed to split bill. I paid. Afterwards he ignored my request for payment. It happened again on her birthday. He is 44 no DC and a 6 figure salary. I am a SAHM with a minimum wage part time job.

This year I suggested taking DM out myself. She refused to go without bro. So I sent DM a card and some flowers. She’s already been on the phone crying because I’m not taking her out. Bro has sent her nothing, but she’s going to take him out for lunch because “he bothered to call her this morning”.

I just can’t win. I’m so sick of paying for bloody bro every time I take DM out!

You did the right thing by acknowledging your mother with the flowers but refusing to have another outing where you are being taken as a mug.

Let her sulk. She's being completely ridiculous, and your brother is an idiot.

It's beneath him, obviously. All that hearts and flowers and looking after your mum is women's work, see?

Typical mummy's boy the only way to make sure you are fairly treated in this situation is to grow a penis.

You need to be utterly frank.

"I can't afford to go out and pay for myself let alone you Mum"

Seems he is the golden child that can do no wrong!

Go out for lunch with both of them.

Don't take your card.

Smirk when the bill arrives then walk out and leave him to it.

Being an arsehole is a two way street.

You want to understand it? Your mother favours your brother because he is a man. She doesn't have much, if any, respect for you.

Your brother has no respect for you and doesn't really give much of a shit about his mother but thinks he's getting one over on you, which he takes pathetic pleasure in. What a weed. What was your relationship like growing up?

I think you did the right thing. Families can be so disappointing

Very odd indeed.

You did the right thing.

How does your brother explain himself?

You won’t win this one so I wouldn’t bother trying - fact of the matter is she didn’t back you up last time you all went out and he had no intention of paying, so she won’t in future. If she insists on turning on the waterworks about how you’re doing nothing, I’d just say you’re putting in as much effort this year as he did for the last Mothers Day/birthday meals out!!

Spend the money you would have paid for 50% of the meal out on yourself and the other 50% is a saving you won’t have to find from your small pot of money!!