How to tell someone I supervise that their idea shows terrible judgment

[Coffeetree]

I supervise someone who supervises a team. The team keeps asking him to bring an idea to me because it's something they really really want to do.

It's clearly outside our regulatory remit so I say no and explain why. We do something completely different; they're just trying to fill a gap for some service users. He's fine with it, but his team are unhappy and want to have a dialogue. I mean, there's no real dialogue to be had, but I could meet and show them/explain that it's just not something we can do.

Here's the thing, even if it were within our remit, I'd say no because what they want to do is incredibly misjudged and patronising. It's along the lines of lecturing homeless food bank recipients about how to make soup. (It's nothing to do with food or homelessness, that's just an example.)

I feel I should mention the patronising element. I'm naturally kind of blunt and I'm hoping I can find a way to explain without putting them on the defensive.

Any ideas?

I’d be blunt/clear about it. Why not? You don’t have to be rude. Just say the idea is inappropriate.

Could you (using your soup analogy) ask the team to put themselves in the shoes of the homeless people and imagine how they would feel about being lectured?

I've tried the "inappropriate" and it's not sinking in. Saying, "this is offensively patronising" will put their backs up.

I wish I were one of those naturally tactful people who can somehow deliver a difficult message without ruffling feathers.

Of course explain it to them, then they can explain to the rest of the team and put the issue to rest. Presumably you are the manager because you have more experience than the others, so it wouldn't be unreasonable to think you know more, can see the big picture better.

Start with my concern is that.... and we could face reputational risk as a
result, which is why it is not something I can approve of.

"This could be seen as patronising" ??
Or, a white lie, xyz did something similar a few years ago and it was not well received, the homeless people felt (rightly or wrongly, we are not going to invalidate their feelings) that the lecturer had no understanding of the challenges they face.

Instead of using emotive words like offensively patronising, could you walk them through how the service users would feel if you implemented the idea? Why implementation would not be feasible? And then end with an (unpatronising!) Recap of your orgs approach to service users?

Ask them why they think it's a good idea/how would they feel as a service user if this was suggested
If that fails tell them not to be so fucking stupid and to stop wasting your time
Done & dusted

I'd probably attend their next meeting where this could be on the agenda with all my reasons and some reverse psychology examples [based on a patronising example that people may feel about the team] and not leave until they had all agreed to knock it on the head.

Is there anything in their idea that could be used such as produce a fact sheet page for website, or the same idea but for a different issue/opportunity.

Present it as a shit sandwich - great that the team identified a need and explored filling it - why you can't- proud of them for their persistence in perusing it - why it could be seen as patronising - you would be open to hear if future ideas and would implement any that could be.

Arrange a future session for process review and ideas about anything that could be improved seeing as though they clearly work well as a team?

I don't know about "proud of their persistence".

One of the things that I think that you need to mention is that they need to take the no, and NOT waste any more business time pursuing it.

Well I was struggling to think of how to serve a shit sandwich tbh.

If the op had been honest with her reasoning the first time they would have stopped 🤷🏽‍♀️

We do something completely different; they're just trying to fill a gap for some service users

Are you absolutely certain it would be 'patronising' - and that that's not just your misjudgement, being further removed from the front line?

“We would face a major risk of this information not being received in the spirit it is intended.”

Sorry to expand - completely understand if something is impossible from a regulatory perspective.

However I've been in positions before where suggestions for improvements have been knocked back several management layers up as 'not necessary'...but ime senior management often give our clients more credit than they're actually due!

“We would face a major risk of this information not being received in the spirit it is intended.”

This.

Do you have organisational values? Normally I hate them but this might be a good time to deploy. “Our values are to be empowering and non judgemental, this proposal does not promote that”.

´Our service users might not appreciate the implication that they don’t know how to make soup. We don’t want to risk alienating them.’ - but that might be too blunt too I guess.
‘I can see you have all put lots of effort into this idea. However, it’s unlikely to be well received by our service users. Some may feel it is patronizing, which could then harm our team’s relationships with service users. It’s very important that our service users feel independent/in control/respected/understood, so we will not be implementing this idea.´

From a counselling perspective - they are trying to 'rescue' the service users because they are projecting their own lack of something. Can you turn it around to them - what does this team need? Eg does your soup metaphor imply that you have unconsciously noted that they need nourishing? By that, I mean in a team-building way, not that your team are literally hungry.

@Coffeetree

I've tried the "inappropriate" and it's not sinking in. Saying, "this is offensively patronising" will put their backs up.

I wish I were one of those naturally tactful people who can somehow deliver a difficult message without ruffling feathers.

Try “What would you do if some of the service users found your idea offensively patronising?”

I see WelshyMaud's point. Without knowing the specifics it's difficult to say whether your evaluation of their idea is correct. It's not unknown for well-meaning people who aren't on the front line to dismiss interventions as "hopelessly patronising" when in fact the people on the ground know that the children in question really do need remedial eating with cutlery sessions or whatever.

Are your supervisees wet behind the ears/well meaning but clueless or are they closer to the clients than you are? Is it worth you getting an impartial opinion?

Be blunt and just say it. So what if it gets their backs up. You've tried to be nice, they've not got the massage, nip it in the bud, they will get over it.

Could you run the idea past a couple of the service users and see what they say?

I used to run a community garden, in a very deprived area.

Alot of well meaning volunteers did in fact think we should run sessions on cooking for the poor people.

I did have to point out that the problem wasn't that they couldn't cook, it was that fresh veg cost more than frozen, and that many people couldn't actually afford to buy it in the first place.

Also, the arrogance that they knew more about cooking than the residents, many of whom were middle aged Asian and African women who could cook amazing food on very little money - again what they wanted was us to grow veg that they could buy from us, less Courgettes and more Dudi and Bitter Gourds.

There are many ways of looking at what it is they are trying to do, and the arguments against it.

I'd suggest setting up a session with the team and getting them to present their idea. Then act as a "critical friend" asking them to counter your various queries and objections. If they're still keen, ask them to work up a new proposal which addresses all your concerns, while making clear that it's a long shot. You will probably never hear anything about it again.

This is actually hard to answer without some background. Why has this arisen? Is this the nature of the environment you work in? That people contribute and it is collaborative towards positive random goals, if so there is probably a conversation necessary to see if there is a more appropriate direction this could be driven towards. If not then the conversation might need to just be shut down. It becomes a question of communicating the actual priorities and acknowledging the good intentions and moving on. Personally I would just be doing that to their line manager, she/he needs to do the rest.