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Original poster

Buying house without DH knowing

39 replies

Champagneforeveryone · 26/03/2022 18:20

Not as nefarious as it sounds I promise!

We viewed a house last year and fell absolutely in love with it, put in an offer that was accepted but then ran into a mortgage issue (a CCJ that I was completely unaware of and has subsequently been set aside by the court) which meant we had to pull out. We were gutted but moved on.

Today the property has reappeared on RightMove Shock

We are currently in rented and in a good position. The agent wants offers in by Monday lunchtime and my mortgage broker is currently working feverishly to get a DIP in place (mine ran out 2 days ago!)

For boring reasons the mortgage and house will be completely in my name and completely funded by me - DH is 100% aware of this and in complete agreement. There is no reason at all for him to be involved in the purchase process in any way (we've recently had a further purchase collapse and his only involvement with that was to view it with me)

Would it be utterly mad to go ahead (if my offer is accepted) in secret and surprise him on completion day with the keys?

On paper it sounds great, if perhaps a bit Instagram worthy (I wouldn't be posting videos or anything!) DH and I still talk wistfully about the house and we are both aware that our current rental is not a long term solution. I wouldn't consider doing it if he hadn't seen the house but he's viewed it twice already and loved it.

On the other hand it's a big surprise to pull off Confused

OP posts:
Tsuni · 26/03/2022 18:47

I hate surprises. What's the fucking point?

traintraveller · 26/03/2022 18:48

I think this is an awful idea although I can see why you'd think it would be nice. However in reality its controlling and very much I'm paying so entirely my decision and I'll only tell you about it when it's done and dusted so tough shit.

Original poster
Champagneforeveryone · 26/03/2022 18:54

@traintraveller

I think this is an awful idea although I can see why you'd think it would be nice. However in reality its controlling and very much I'm paying so entirely my decision and I'll only tell you about it when it's done and dusted so tough shit.
I think this is entirely what I couldn't articulate so thank you.

I'll park this particular bit of twathattery away then Smile

OP posts:
Kezzie200 · 26/03/2022 19:17

I guess things may be more online now but when we bought a house there were constant letters, packages and phones calls to arrange things. I would think something would look odd and out of the ordinary at some point.

And why not enjoy the fun and stress of the process. It can be very frustrating at times!

MMMarmite · 26/03/2022 19:21

That was unanimous! Glad you've seen sense OP :) good luck with the lovely house.

Luhou · 26/03/2022 19:35

I agree with PP that it's to much to suprise him with they keys but I wouldn't tell him now. Wait for your DIP and your offer to be accepted and then suprise him with the news of the accepted offer!

DownWhichOfLate · 26/03/2022 19:47

But definitely surprise him with a viewing when you’re confident you’ve got funds in place! Best of luck. Feel free to update us Smile

TheHoptimist · 26/03/2022 19:48

Cant imagine they would accept your offer after last time?

AnneLovesGilbert · 26/03/2022 19:52

Ooh no, and glad you’ve changed your mind! Most of the fun of house buying is doing it together.

StatisticallyChallenged · 26/03/2022 20:13

I'm in Scotland, so may be slightly different, but I wouldn't have been able to do this. Even though the house and mortgage are in my name, DH still had to sign documents (required by mortgage company) to consent to them being granted security over the property.

This might be different in England, but I couldn't have done a stealth purchase here.

Qwill · 26/03/2022 20:16

This sounds pretty awful and controlling. It’s a shame you don’t have relationship where you can be honest with each other about major decisions let alone minor ones.

Original poster
Champagneforeveryone · 26/03/2022 21:02

@Qwill

This sounds pretty awful and controlling. It’s a shame you don’t have relationship where you can be honest with each other about major decisions let alone minor ones.
That's a bit of a stretch really Hmm
OP posts:
Pythonesque · 26/03/2022 21:11

Fingers crossed you can get your offer accepted and that it works out for you!

I think you should get a great reaction just letting him know when your offer's accepted, that'll be worth it. And then you can go through the process together.

TheABC · 26/03/2022 21:12

It's a massive life decision. Tell him as that shows respect for his place in your life and share the excitement.

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