WWYD - Saturday footbal

[Sidelining]

DS (9) 'plays' for a team at the weekend and trains during the week. In reality he spend over 90% of match time off the pitch as he doesn't get played. It's not as if by not playing him the team succeeds. They lose anyway, so I'm not sure what the benefit of crushing his confidence is. I understand they want to play the best team possible but he loves foootball (at least he used to) and I don't feel he's that bad a player - certainly not to the extent he should always be left out. He doesn't want to go anymore. I've paid membership but I'm not going to force him. AIBU to expect him to play? I understand it's competitive but I thought it was also supposed to be fun. He's the only team member in this situation.

At 9 should get minimum a half. Would ask around, go for a team in a lower league and check policy on play time before taking him.
Been there with one son and moving was definitely good and should have done earlier.

I'm a qualified coach and managed a 'B' youth team for years. We hardly won but that was because I played everyone equally and even kept a tally so they all got man of the match the same amount of times.

As PPs have said, try and find a less competitive club so your DS can just enjoy playing instead of being left out. For me, it was about the kids having fun. In hindsight I was probably too soft, but the parents were fierce!

Definitely look for another club. You will see a difference.
My son was in a club who only played the "best" anyone not picked then lost confidence. The team split into 2 and those in the "bottom" team got an amazing coach who built them all back up and gave everyone a chance, swapped positions so the usual goal scores had to defend. And they won a few and stopped losing 22-0 but main thing enjoyeddot again

I would swap to another team which is a lower standard. There's no point hanging about at the side of the pitch not getting any game time. Or continue with training if you've already paid & don't take him to matches.

It's the end of the season in a couple of weeks so a good time to look around for a less competitive team, or to let him stop playing and maybe try a different activity.

Look for another club for next season.

Thanks. I spoke to the coach and he gave me some excuses which I don't think are fair and if the end result is that DS isn't enjoying it at all then there's something wrong. There's been a shortage of options but I'll try to find somewhere else rather than send him somewhere he's not happy. He needs his confidence building up, and it's not the team where that's going to happen.

Just to add confidence is a huge thing. When my son was a sub for most of the game you could see him becoming more and more miserable and then he’d play badly when he came on. After he moved at 11 the difference by end of first season was incredible. By 15 he was captain and the team was promoted 2x while he was with them. He’s now 23 and still plays every weekend.