My 14 month old isn’t walking or talking and has some other red flags. When do I worry?

[Babypinksandblues]

I have a beautiful 14 month old boy. He is healthy, very active (crawls, bounce, climbs, loves Lego). He is smiley, giggly, ticklish, smart and focused, loves music. BUT he doesn’t speak much (no mama) and is refusing to walk although he does crawl high speed. He doesn’t always respond to his name much usually because he is very busy with whatever it is he’s doing.he does otherwise.
He also doesn’t point or clap much (although as I am now teaching him and he seems to like it and be getting there)
We are currently living in Switzerland where he attended crèche / nursery in French so I’m wondering whether the multiple languages are delaying his speech? my dr (not a paediatrician) and the lady who runs the crèche keep reassuring me that babies develop as different ages and he is lovely.
But then today the crèche assistant agreed with me about points of difference I made and said in her believe it would be good to get him to the paediatrician to check his ears and for any other autism / developmental issues. He’s only 14 months and I don’t have any family or close friends around to help me sense check this and my partner isn’t being very supportive in any way..
I’m looking for reassurance more than anything as he is still so little and my mum keeps trying to convince me is is a happy smiley focused baby who likes what he likes and will
Be ready when he’s ready.thank you in advance if you had similar concerns that turned out well or just for general comfort and advice. Thank you xxx

If you are concerned about his hearing, definitely get that checked.

(I had one with hearing problems and only picked it up later - the earlier the better tbh)

None of mine walked at 14 months. The older three were all 15 months, DC4 was almost 17 months and my youngest is 20 months and still won’t walk! I’ve phoned the HV who was most unconcerned about him because he can take a few steps, he’s been cruising furniture steadily since he was 9 months old as well. He just doesn’t want to walk for some reason, talks a lot though!

My eldest didn’t talk at all until he was three. I was so worried about him but now he’s 12 and absolutely great, super clever. Honestly, 14 months is nothing.

He sounds a lot like my 13 month- I am in no way worried about him. Older DS didn't walk till 16 months and didn't talk properly till he was nearly three!

If you've got Disney plus search for the baby race episode of Bluey xx

My son didn't walk or talk at 14 months. Now he's a very active 9 year old who doesn't stop running around or talking! He's only just over a year - don't worry! This isn't unusual at all.

P. S. My son didn't walk until he was over 18 months and barely spoke until then either (even when he turned 2 he only knew a few words). He's very articulate now.

I am in the French speaking part of CH and if you need some support please reach do out.

Your baby is, from the sounds of it, perfectly within the realms of normal. Stop worrying please. It'll stop you enjoying this special time.

And I also wanted to say that with the best will in the world, people can reassure any worries away. However, if you are genuinely concerned, this isn't helpful. In my experience, I found it to be incredibly isolating as no one really listened and I felt as if I was being paranoid. (This isn't a criticism, people were just trying to be nice. It's human nature to reassure. But as your DC's parent, follow your instinct. Not pleasantries from strangers or people who do not know your child).

I had a gut instinct that I just knew something wasn't typical with my PFB, who didn't walk until 19 months (I was constantly reassured neither did DH). He didn't talk (but he had exposure to EN/FR and a dummy, which explains it)).
But it still niggled away at me.
Thank goodness I followed this instinct, and DC1 was diagnosed at 3. Early intervention is key. I never had this 'instinct' with my other 3DC who are all neurotypical.

The exposure to several languages will cause a slight language delay, that's perfectly normal. But please discuss with your Peadiatrician. We went to the children hospital in Lausanne for a marvelous ear specialist and ruled out many other things such as eyesight etc before the whole autism route was explored. @Babypinksandblues

The crèche assistant seemingly agreeing with you is not confirmation that your concerns are justified. They may know agreeing is a quicker way of getting rid of anxious parents. Or know that you've been reassured by their boss numerous times and nothing they could say would help. Or that getting told by an expert there is no issue would be the only thing that would reassure you. If you've brought to these concerns up numerous times with your mum, doctor and the crèche manager and now assistant, and nothing they're said has reassured you, why haven't you gone to a pediatric specialist?

This seems more about your anxiety then a developmental delay of your dc. When you say your partner is unsupportive what do you mean? Has he tried to reassure you and given up as you can't be reassured? Is his lack of support driving your anxiety? Is there something in your life that you are avoiding facing by focusing on your concerns about your son?