So my 8 year old ds, tells us often he loves drama, by that he means people getting told off

[LovelyYellowLabrador]

Or say someone’s kicking of in a shop or something

This is rather odd to me, does it seem odd to you or he is just admittting what others enjoy but keep it zipped

You can tell he enjoys it say if another child has been told off for something at school etc

But at least he doesn’t tell tales and get others in trouble but he seems to enjoy watching thjngs kick off
And he says it to me in a strange way
Oh I just love drama

5 year old DD exactly the same. Makes me a bit sad because obviously as she gets older she will realise how extremely unfortunate drama is. But for now, she doesn't create it but she loves it.

It’s not unusual for a child that age, also they don’t always know the emotion they feel and give it a name/phrase they do know. So when he says he “loves” it it might mean it makes him feel something different/strong/strange/noticeable but he isn’t sure what that emotion is yet. It might make him feel something akin to excited which could easily be a stress response.

I always hated it when other people get told off as a child, still do! My boss slightly ticked off a colleague today and I wanted cry (colleague was unbothered). I imagine it’s a scale in terms of how we react.

I think that’s very perceptive and self aware for an 8 year old. Let’s face it most of us like to watch something kicking off.

I agree! Watch a group of children at a daycare or on the playground when someone's getting told off or having a tantrum. They all live for that drama. They'll stop what they're doing and gaze at it in rapt attention, full of quiet glee knowing that it's not them getting in trouble.

Have you asked him how he feels when he’s getting told off? Or if he would like someone to be loving it watching him as he’s getting told off? Maybe if he can relate it to how he would feel if it was him it would help him work through his feelings about it. Because it’s not too pleasant to admit to people that you enjoy seeing another child get told off. I’m sure he wouldn’t like it if he was the child being told off!

It’s not unusual though, I’ve often had to tell a child off for sniggering while another child is being told off. Think it’s in the Harry Potter books when one of the Weasley children says ‘I love hearing mum shout at someone other than me, it’s a nice change.’

I'd say that's normal.
It's also normal for adults - think about the TV shows people love to watch where there are arguments and fights.

I think it's not an admirable trait but it's very common. I bet loads of people's small DC come home from school and regale them with tales of that "terrible!!" thing that a classmate did and got told off for. They may not openly admit that they loved it, but it's written all over their face. Some people never grow out of it (looking at you Laura Kuenssberg).

The fact that your DS has been honest means that you can talk to him about how this is quite a normal reaction but he should try and be a bit more empathetic.

Don't the Germans have a word for that? www.google.co.uk/search?q=avenue+q+schadenfreude&client=safari&prmd=vin&sxsrf=APq-WBudczQLYRRY3N1plPTMYCpOhttpOw:1648109071309&source=lnms&tbm=vid&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiu-_vdpN72AhWHYcAKHWGnCbkQ_AUoAXoECAIQAQ&biw=414&bih=715&dpr=2#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:17be4e98,vid:kb20xhcrK4g,st:0

Sounds very typical for a kid that age, I’ve worked with plenty who love to report with glee that “Thaddeus got moved to the rain cloud because he was talking in story time!”

Suppose it’s similar to my love of You’ve Been Framed

Thanks very much for your thoughts
Perhaps I should stop worrying about it then

So it seems it’s rather common but less common to openly admit !
He is very honest
And he certainly doenst start it but seems to enjoy watching it
Do you think I should just say something like well a lot of people do but they tend to keep it quiet or something to him ?

If you feel it's necessary to say something, you could try to encourage empathy with thoughtful questions. 'How do you think that person might be feeling?' 'How would you want others to act if you were being told off in public?' Etc.

More interesting I suppose than listening to grown ups talking about mortgages. If my Mum and Aunt wanted to speak about something dodgy, they lowered their voices but mostly they talked about mortgages as my Aunt and Uncle were buying a house or they always seemed to when I was around!

I decided that when I was a grown up I would not want a mortgage. Actually I cannot get one now. Too old and can't afford one anyway!

I hated 'drama' at school - it made me want to hide under a table and cover my ears - but that was because I had an awful lot of drama going on at home. Maybe you have a lovely calm relaxed home so it is a real novelty to him.
I would encourage him to think about the person being told off, and also that if he sees something kicking off it might be sensible to walk away in case he gets dragged into it. But actually I think he is admitting to something that many people may feel - how many people watch Big brother and those kind of programmes just to see the arguments? - most people I would guess !
I think its really positive that he is analysing his feelings and being honest - it opens the way for discussions about empathy, about emotions, which is all good. You could talk about why he enjoys drama, (maybe he would like actual drama as in acting classes - he might enjoy thinking about what is going on in people's heads and how they react) He sounds like an interesting little boy.

Deathray 🤣🤣🤣

Thankyou Amy he is, his mind is always active
Always asking questions and he is very very honest !
I think you guys are right he’s just being honest about how he feels
And he must feel safe and confident to tell us how he’s feeling so I’m going to stop worry about it now
Thank you

I think it could also be that he's an intelligent, active boy and he's bored! And a bit of drama changes things up. A lot of primary school education is incredibly prescriptive and deathly boring. Remember all of those work sheets?

Yes he’s too intelligent for me ! I don’t know where he gets it from
I know he gets bored in maths and they already have four sets and he’s in the hardest one
But he still finds it too easy and sits there done it and bored
Not sure what else they can do with him tho

But his mind is very enquiring
He is certainly a thinker
Always questions upton questions
Makes my head hurt
Like he’s loved chess from a young age and alot of board games and card games where as I cannot be arsed with chess at all the thought of it gives me a headache !

Well there's your answer op

Joking apart, if he is seriously bored at school and finding it too easy, if the school can't do anything, maybe now is the opportunity to direct his mind to some more demanding extra curricular activities before he explores other less productive ways of keeping himself occupied?

Well
I was thinking of introducing him to
Professor Brian cox on your tube
But that might make the questioning worse ! 🤣
I’ll have to get him some more books
Or something !