I think I've become obsessed with my weight

[DinosaurPotato]

I recently lost some weight, my BMI is now under 20 (it was 26ish before). My diet is as healthy as I can make it and I exercise. All good. However, I am now starting to struggle. Firstly, I have a massive appetite and am always hungry, this is linked to some health conditions I have, but it means I'm always thinking about food. Therefore I eat a lot of low calorie fruit and veg so I am still eating a large volume if that makes sense, certainly more than most people.

I am finding myself worrying about special events a long time in advance because I don't want to put on weight. I often gain half a stone on holiday and then I come home feeling depressed and it takes me months to work it off. I can't see to not go off the rails on holiday. I'm a bit worried it's a problem. I count calories, weigh everything and weigh myself daily. I am not overweight, I know that, and I want to enjoy holidays and special occasions without fear.

Does anyone have any advice? Thanks for reading.

How far under twenty is your bmi? It sounds like you’re tipping into some unhealthy patterns of thinking around food. What are you eating now?

As a first step you could switch to just weighing carbs rather than every single item you’re eating. Try weighing yourself just once a week.

It must be miserable always feeling hungry. I’d be looking at eating more if that was how I was feeling, but keeping it on the heathy side so bigger portions of main meals or two healthy snacks mid morning and mid afternoon.

Sounds very much like an Ed.
As someone who’s had AN for many years I urge you to jump on it now. I now try really hard not to look at the nutritional info on food. I know that once I know that number, it will effect how much of it I eat and how much I enjoy it. Is your weight now stable of are you still losing? Once the body is in ‘starvation mode’ the preoccupation with food intensifies.

Could you try writing yourself a meal plan so you know what you are having and when?

I think purple daisies advice is really good.

It sounds like food and your weight are taking over your life, please be careful as it can easily tip into an ED.
Please try and step back before it becomes a bigger issue.
They are quite a few red flags in your post, and I say this kindly.
You don't need to weigh and calorie count everything, you just need to be sensible and healthy and falling off the wagon and having a treat is OK too. Be kind to yourself.
If your worries about food stop you from doing things you used to enjoy or require planning down to the last minuet detail, if you are you restricting your diet to only certain foods and thinking about food and your weight all the time, if you've lost a lot of weight quickly or your bmi is too low or your periods have stopped, or you feel cold all the time or have dizzy spells then please please consider counselling.

Hi everyone,

I'm sorry it has taken me a while to reply. I was a bit overwhelmed.

To answer your questions my BMI is around 19, so not too low. I had a bigger meal at the weekend for a birthday and I'm up 2lb (I know some is water) and it's upsetting me, which is ridiculous as I had a lovely day with family. I have a break coming up and the amount of time I've spent trying to work out if I should keep healthy with the odd treat, or have fish & chips and ice cream is ridiculous. I'm upsetting myself. I know objectively I am slim and my clothes are getting baggy BUT I still see photos of myself and think I look chubby. I know I'm not but how do I stop feeling like that?