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Original poster

Anyone learn to drive 30's+

35 replies

Oldlearner · 22/03/2022 21:07

Just wondering if anyone can share some wisdom on learning to drive when a little bit older?

I'm mid 30's, two kids under 4 and really need to drive.

I did learn early 20's got almost test standard and stopped now i've gone back to it im so nervous and anxious.

I've had around 10hrs of tution and feel my confidence is massively holding me back. It's like i'm over thinking.
Can anyone relate or have anything helpful they can share?

OP posts:
DappledThings · 22/03/2022 21:26

Yep! Started at 19. Tried on and off for a while, was shit at it and not helped by it being so on and off as could only practise when home from university. Failed three tests over 6 months when I was 21/22 and got really down about it. Temporarily lived at home again at 27 and tried again, had a test booked but was cancelled by DVLA with no explanation. Then moved back to London and forgot again.

Didn't drive again at all till I was 34 when DH and I first needed a car and bought one. Absolutely different experience. Was so much confident and my concentration was way better. Passed with 1 minor at 35. Now 42 and I love driving. All of it. 200 miles to my parents, a pop to Tesco and everything in-between.

After it making me feel so shit and useless at 21 it still feels like an achievement that gives me a tiny high every time I get in the car.

DappledThings · 22/03/2022 21:29

Sorry. I've just re-read your OP and my comment and it's made me sound a bit smug. That wasn't my intention. I was intending to be positive about the difference between learning in my 20s and 30s but was a bit glib about having more confidence.

I think I really benefitted from telling myself struggling with it 13 years earlier was so long ago it didn't matter and remembering all those things I had achieved since and it really helped my confidence. I was lucky to get a lovely instructor too. It might be a case of needing a different one to help your confidence.

user1471538283 · 22/03/2022 21:35

Me! I learnt on and off for years!

I found it so hard but I finally passed on my fourth attempt when I was 36! The key for me was finding an instructor I gelled with.

You can do this! You need to keep doing it until you pass!

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Original poster
Oldlearner · 22/03/2022 21:38

@DappledThings im glad your loving driving thats how I want to feel. I felt confident back at 23 i really regret not sticking with it.
I first did lessons at 17/18 but stopped because i had different priorities, picked it up back up easy in 20's but this time i feel so different. Don't know if having small children have something to do with it.

OP posts:
lapasion · 22/03/2022 21:39

I tried several times in my 20s and just hated driving. Then I hit 30 and with kids and a job it was impossible to rely on public transport. I ended up learning in an automatic, as it meant I could focus on the road and not get flustered dealing with the controls. I was nervous, even after passing, but forced myself to drive daily and take on longer routes. A few years later and I’m a pretty confident driver now.

Bloodybridget · 22/03/2022 21:48

I started learning aged 32, had loads of lessons, failed the test twice ((this was before the age of theory tests). But I bought my instructor's car before I took my third test, and started driving a lot as soon as I could, so I didn't lose my nerve. 35 years later, I count learning to drive as one of the best things I've done.

Fossilsmorefossils · 22/03/2022 21:49

Me! I was 37? 38? Anyway, I do think that when you're older you're more aware of tge dangers of driving maybe? I had 44 hours of lessons and then passed the first time. It might have taken longer because I'm older butI drive a couple of times a week now and am so happy that I persisted with the lessons. Several times I had the feeling that I'd never learn how to drive but my (3rd) instructor said that a lot of "older" students feel that way at some point but you just need to push through.

One advice that I will give you is to not be afraid to switch instructors. Find someone who builds your confidence.

ISpyCobraKai · 22/03/2022 21:51

I passed my test test at 18, then never drove again until 34, so learned again.
A good friend of mine passed her test at 39.
It can be done.
I have to say, driving is the best thing ever, the freedom it gives me is unequaled.

Original poster
Oldlearner · 22/03/2022 22:05

Thanks everyone

I really like this instructor, he really believes in me. He has mentioned to me its quite normal older learner know just how dangerous a car can be so can be nervous. He also mentioned the fact once i pass i will small kids in car and knowing it is probably adding a bit of stress.

I wont be giving up, not driving is really impacting my life now with the kids, public transport is awful where i am and i cant keep my kids at/near home all the time plus school this year etc

@lapasion how long after passing did you feel confident to have your kids in the car?

OP posts:
CandyCaneLane0 · 22/03/2022 22:07

I passed last year at 31. I think the key is finding an instructor you trust and builds your confidence. Stick with it, it's so worth it

CakeAmbushAlert · 22/03/2022 22:09

Learnt in 30s & hated it! I was very nervous but did it on behalf of my kids. I love being able to take them out & about without wondering if there's a bus route to get there. It's given me far more independence.

Top tip is learn in an automatic - so much easier! Don't expect the nerves to go immediately, it can take hrs of practice & driving to get confident. I used to feel sick getting in the car, now I don't even think about it. I always use it as an example to my children of pushing your own boundaries. Don't let fear stop you. You can do it OP

CakeAmbushAlert · 22/03/2022 22:10

I was thinner when I had to walk everywhere though Grin

gogohm · 22/03/2022 22:13

I did, took ages to get my confidence plus fitting lessons around kids isn't easy, took me basically a year but I passed straight away

DietTillDie · 22/03/2022 22:20

Started learning to drive just before pandemic, when i was 47. Passed my test one month before my 50th!
Go for it, you are still young!

Echobelly · 22/03/2022 22:22

Yes, I learned at 32 before I had youngest. It does take longer to learn when you're older. Practised driving with DH and it's amazing we didn't divorce over that experience Grin - but it was helpful for me to drive us some of our journeys regularly, monitored by him. DH says he'll pay for kids to have driving lessons as soon as they're old enough to they never have to put their partners through that, though! Wink

Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 22/03/2022 22:23

I was 33 and 6 months pregnant when I eventually passed!! Never wanted to drive tbh. Tests terrify me so passed 4th attempt..
Blush

Fuckingfuckssake · 22/03/2022 22:26

Didn't even start lessons till I was 37, went out every night with my Husband in our family car with my 2 year old in the back, hated every minute of it, had formal lessons too, passed First time. Hands down the best thing I ever did for myself, the feeling of independence was worth every second.

Toddlerteaplease · 22/03/2022 22:35

Yes. Had lessons when I was 18 but didn't really get anywhere. Started again at 33 and passed first time within 3 months.

Toddlerteaplease · 22/03/2022 22:36

I love driving and wish I'd not waited so long!

EasilyDistracted77 · 22/03/2022 22:44

I passed my test first time at 33 with the help of Rescue Remedy to settle my nerves! Had a few lessons at 17 but really wasn't ready. Didn't feel the need until I'd had my first baby and then felt it would give me more options for getting out of the house and entertaining my son.

If you find the right instructor, they will help you build your confidence. Mine was amazing, he didn't just teach me the technical 'how to drive' stuff but also the 'how to think like a safe driver' kind of stuff. Don't be afraid to try a few instructors until you find the right one.
My reality is that my confidence came from driving AFTER the test and I've since got a job which requires me to drive a lot, reverse a lot, do plenty of 3-point turns and manoeuvre in tight spaces and it has helped my confidence no end!

VivienneDelacroix · 22/03/2022 22:44

Yes, passed at 34.

Original poster
Oldlearner · 23/03/2022 12:56

Thanks everyone. Gave me more confidence i wouldnt be a nervous wreck forever

OP posts:
LindaEllen · 23/03/2022 13:03

@Oldlearner

Thanks everyone. Gave me more confidence i wouldnt be a nervous wreck forever
I started learning when I was 18 but I was terrified. I just couldn't do it. I tried a few times and then eventually did it properly and passed when I was 24. I know it's not quite the age you asked for, but it is at least a story of someone who tried - was terrified - and eventually got there.

I love being able to drive now. It's amazing to just be able to do what you need to do, and get to where you need to be.

Member278307 · 23/03/2022 13:23

I failed test twice because husband was teaching me. Bad mistake.
Went to a school at 30 passed first time

lapasion · 23/03/2022 13:49

@Oldlearner

Thanks everyone

I really like this instructor, he really believes in me. He has mentioned to me its quite normal older learner know just how dangerous a car can be so can be nervous. He also mentioned the fact once i pass i will small kids in car and knowing it is probably adding a bit of stress.

I wont be giving up, not driving is really impacting my life now with the kids, public transport is awful where i am and i cant keep my kids at/near home all the time plus school this year etc

@lapasion how long after passing did you feel confident to have your kids in the car?

I had to have the kids in the car pretty much from day one which was extremely nerve wracking, but you do get used to it. I bought some good car seats and got help installing them at Halfords which helped my anxiety a bit, as I knew they’d be as well protected as possible. Also make sure they have distractions in the back of the car like toys or even an iPad on long journeys, so you can focus on the road.