I realise it’s a book for teenage girls, and I’m considerably older, but read it this morning after kindle recommended it and couldn’t put it down .
Without giving away the entire plot, it focuses on mother and baby homes in the 1960s - teenage girl falls pregnant, it explores the aftermath .
My dad was born in a mother and baby home, in the 1950s, to an unmarried teenage mother . He was adopted at birth, his mother wasn’t given any choice as far as I know (told it was for the best) .
She never had any other children, she died relatively young and very unhappy by all accounts . Alcohol and self harm and suicide attempts . I’m not sure if that’s how she died in the end .
She’s buried where she died - I’ve never been to her grave .
I never met her . I’ve got two photos of her . I don’t know anything about her . She doesn’t look at all like me in the photos . I’ve never met her family .
My father was adopted but his adoption was an unhappy one, and it’s affected the rest of his life - and mine, by extension . He ended up being violent and abusive and we lost touch many years ago . He would cite his unhappy adoption as the start of his problems .
The book is so sensitively written and handled so well, but it’s the first time I’ve ever considered my grandmother’s perspective and it’s a bit of a shock .
She was a teenager herself and I find myself wondering if she was scared, angry, if the home was a nurturing environment or abusive . How she found herself there in the first place - I don’t imagine there was much consent involved when my dad was conceived .
If that hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t be here . But it seems such a horrendous thing to have happened, and sometimes you wonder if it’s had some sort of effect on everything - I have my own mental health issues as a result of things with my dad .
It’s such a difficult thing to think about, and not something you can talk to anyone about in real life either - I haven’t ever discussed it much with anyone . I don’t imagine they do support groups either .