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Not sure where to put this, child Privacy

9 replies

famousforwrongreason · 22/03/2022 00:55

As above, not sure which subject is best for this post.
I have two DCs, DD is 'developing' and ds is slightly younger
DD doesn't like closed doors, bath or bedroom (some anxiety/ neurodiversity)
so is not private when undressing, bathing etc
As her body is changing I'm conflicted about asking her to cover up, I've just gently reminded her to put a top on etc or close the door (she will cover up if I ask her too but straight no on the doors)
She sometimes walks around undressed , mainly from bathroom to bedroom or when poorly lies downstairs under blanket but maybe just in underwear.
This is only in the home with us and obviously not constantly , I am not sure how to approach this if at all.
I'm sure it will naturally happen in time where she wants more privacy, as she's starting to become more self conscious.
I don't want to confuse my ds either as he is becoming naturally more curious about sex , bodies etc and by questions he asks it's clear he's getting a playground education on the subject.
He also has some anxiety and neurodiversity.
I grew up in a very scary chaotic environment.
My mother had zero boundaries when it came to hers or our nakedness and would talk very openly about sex that we weren't ready to hear about, including details about her own experiences plus I was exposed to a LOT.
She kept very unsavoury company with many creepy boyfriends and I was very vulnerable as a child and it's really impacted on me, especially since becoming a parent to the point where I can barely trust any men anymore.

I don't know if I'm overthinking this but do I need to say/ do more or just let her come to it naturally?
One part of me is happy that she feels safe and free in her own home.
I don't want to teach my children guilt or shame about their bodies but I also want to make sure I'm doing the right thing in terms of keeping them safe.
Any suggestions gratefully received!

OP posts:
Fossilsmorefossils · 22/03/2022 01:33

Would it help to put a curtain in front of the bathroom and bedroom door? At the side where it doesn't open up to? So she can have an open door but a curtain for privacy?

Helenahandkart · 22/03/2022 01:52

I think it’s fine to just let your kids be. If and when they feel awkward about being unclothed they’ll cover themselves up. As your son gets older and more curious he might ask his sister a few questions, which may naturally make her more aware of her nakedness, but for now just let them enjoy being free from self-consciousness.

Maybe don’t let them answer the front door without something on though!

Cheetocat · 22/03/2022 01:55

I don't think I'd worry about it as they've grown up together anyway. Maybe explain that their bodies belong to only them and that includes who sees it. Also might be good to get your daughter to practice with the door when she's comfortable so that when she does want privacy she'll be less anxious about it. Best wishes x

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famousforwrongreason · 22/03/2022 02:07

Nice idea 🙂

OP posts:
famousforwrongreason · 22/03/2022 02:08

@Cheetocat

I don't think I'd worry about it as they've grown up together anyway. Maybe explain that their bodies belong to only them and that includes who sees it. Also might be good to get your daughter to practice with the door when she's comfortable so that when she does want privacy she'll be less anxious about it. Best wishes x
Thank you, that's very reassuring
OP posts:
famousforwrongreason · 22/03/2022 02:11

@Helenahandkart

I think it’s fine to just let your kids be. If and when they feel awkward about being unclothed they’ll cover themselves up. As your son gets older and more curious he might ask his sister a few questions, which may naturally make her more aware of her nakedness, but for now just let them enjoy being free from self-consciousness.

Maybe don’t let them answer the front door without something on though!

Haha I think she'd draw the line at the door answering. Thank you everyone for being so kind and reasoned. Sounds like I have a lot to deal with from my past so that I can do this properly and organically
OP posts:
famousforwrongreason · 22/03/2022 02:12

Thanks for not making me feel crazy x

OP posts:
Helenahandkart · 22/03/2022 08:57

You don’t sound crazy at all. I think something will just click for your daughter at some point, and she’ll naturally become more self-conscious once she hits proper teenageriness. Until then, assuming there aren’t any random strangers in the house, she’s perfectly safe and her behaviour sounds absolutely fine.

famousforwrongreason · 22/03/2022 17:58

@Helenahandkart

You don’t sound crazy at all. I think something will just click for your daughter at some point, and she’ll naturally become more self-conscious once she hits proper teenageriness. Until then, assuming there aren’t any random strangers in the house, she’s perfectly safe and her behaviour sounds absolutely fine.
Brilliant thanks, it's good to vocalise this stuff and take the fear away! No randoms!
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