Post-alcohol anxiety - normal?

[AlwaysWorried30]

Sorry if this is in the wrong thread - I wasn't sure where to put it.

I went out drinking Friday night with some people from work and am now suffering with terrible post-alcohol anxiety. For context, I have diagnosed anxiety which I take medication for. I also rarely drink alcohol - probably once every 3-4 months at the most? Also, I completely avoid it if my anxiety is flaring.

Well Friday night I decided to go out and have a few drinks. For most of the night, everything was fine and I was actually one of the more sober one. At the end of the night I remember going to the toilets, coming out and realising everyone in my group had gone. So I left the bar and tried phoning one of them. They didn't answer so I got a takeaway, rang my boyfriend, and then got a taxi home. The problem is I can't remember the 30-45 mins before I left the bar and so I must've blacked out. I'm now absolutely terrified of what could've happened then.

I'm scared that I've said something stupid to someone at work, and then they will tell everyone else and I'd have to find a new job. I'm scared that someone could have tried it on with me and that I cheated on my boyfriend (something I would never even contemplate sober!). I'm just scared I've done something completely out of character and ruined my life 😭.

I asked one of the girls there and she said I didn't do or say anything stupid, but I won't really talk to the other ones any time soon so feel I can't get closure. I know I should never, ever get myself into that state and will try my best to not let this happen again. But I'm feeling terrible today and feel like I need some reassurance 😭. I just feel that I'm pathetic and don't deserve to be happy.

I think the 'beer-fear' as we call it in this house is totally normal, I always feel horrible anxiety the morning after a big session (although I get it way worse after wine than beer!), but it's probably worse for you given your history of anxiety . It is really easy if you don't drink alcohol regularly to accidentally over-do it so no blame or judgement here.

Please don't beat yourself up or catastrophise terrible life-ruining scenarios, we've all been there but it honestly doesn't sound like you did anything more with your friends than anyone else would that's overdone it a bit, and it's highly, highly unlikely anything bad happened in that missing half an hour or so, you were likely just making silly chit chat that you now can't remember, or possibly being sick or having a mini nap in the loos if you were really that far gone lol. Your friend would have noticed and told you/made sure you got home safe rather than leaving if it was anything worse than that. I know it's so hard to believe when your brain is telling you otherwise though. I try and rationalise the feelings as a purely chemical reaction that the alcohol is putting in my brain and keep telling myself the anxiety will pass if I just ride it out, it's hard because the emotions feel so real but you know rationally the things you are thinking are not true - perhaps some mindfulness or meditation, some breathing exercises or getting outside for some exercise might help (sorry to sound trite and I know these things aren't magic fixes but I do find they help). Or just try and distract yourself, some absorbing work or a good book or a something funny on the telly? Hope you feel better soon!