3 year old twins - feel like I’m sinking

[Heyduggee123]

3 year old twins, it just gets harder and harder. Our house is total chaos. I can’t bear the crying, arguing and tantruming. The end of every day feels like I’m on my knees

I do have a DH who is very hands on, but he’s been very down himself recently, 2 years of working from home has taken its toll on him (his company is still not back in the office full time - currently only 1 day per week)

My brain feels frazzled, all I can think of is the free 30 hours in September and then I feel guilty about it. Meal times can be chaos if I don’t time it just right, and I can never get anything done. The weather this weekend has helped, it’s nice to be able to get outside and burn off some energy.

Any fellow twin mums out there who can offer a girl a lifeline and tell me that it does get even a tiny bit easier?

For context I do work 2 days a week, they go to nursery for 1.5 days and my parents have them for 1 afternoon. DH parents live a 2 hour drive away and we only tend to see them for holidays or special occasions. My parents are late 60’s early 70’s so asking them to extra is tricky. Plus we are older parents ourselves, I’m 42 & DH is 50. Weeks like this definitely make us feel our age (and then some)

I’m a mum to twins and I look back at that time with a lot of fondness and a shudder. I found it so hard, the house was chaos, I was either working or parenting and people kept on saying “what a lovely age”. My levels of vigilance were akin to someone in the SAS as I was constantly scanning for threat. Just hold on - it will get better.

I don't have twins but my 3.5 yr old is definitely going through a long phase that's v challenging; lots of clashing with elder.

Spring /Summer helps a lot.

Sand pit outside.

Agree trampolines help. Swings too.

Mine gets hangry very easily at 4 pm - snacks don't help so I do get that.

Very easy quick way to calm and distract them is gloop - equal part corn flour and water. We've currently got a tray with a bowl full of it that comes down frequently on the kitchen. I'm guessing separate ones would be best! It dries up so he adds more water and that's half of it, getting it mixed.

Splashes on the floor are incredibly easy to wipe or hoover when dry. Dinner was late the other day so he played with that while I popped bits of rice cake in his mouth to keep him ticking over!

I also think at this age a visual timetable of the day or / and week is really supportive. Need to use daily. They like to know what's happening next

I'm struggling some days (older mum too) so I really take my hat off to you.

Oh - trampoline - can you get a small indoors trampet? Or it could go on the grass. Often have a handle. More independent and they can hop on and off.

Oh and audiobooks - get a speaker and set up audible - appreciate it may not work for everyone but for my two it was a charm as they immediately go to listen to the story.

Also - I’m assuming you are doing this already - but sleep as soon as they sleep (if you are in an exhausted phase). Try not to tidy up. Prioritise yourself. If you have any friends who run early doors (5/6) try and meet them to get some time for yourself if your partner is at home. Lower your standards. Don’t expect to be able to just ping back to life when they go to nursery, it took me 2 months plus to sort of recover myself. You are doing so well.