I need to talk to someone.

[CatCuddler999]

I’m really struggling today. I’m so tired I can’t be bothered to do anything. My energy is gone. I’m so anxious I feel depersonalised and spaced out.

I posted earlier about my job crisis
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4509317-In-a-state-and-got-a-big-decision-to-make-help?msgid=115991696#115991696 and I think that’s def part of the problem but I’ve also realised today how anxious I am in general.

I feel horribly anxious all the time. I went shopping earlier and felt like I just wanted to get the hell round the shop and home again. And then when I’m home I worry I’m not doing all the chores that need doing and ‘on it’ as much as I should be.

I’m looking around me now and I can’t take in what’s around me. I’m all in my head and horribly anxious. My body just wants to sleep but I’m on mum duty and can’t.

I’ve got PTSD and having nightmares and flashbacks all the time. I’m just so damn tired.

Hi @CatCuddler999 I didn't want to read and run.
Have you spoken to the GP about your anxiety and PTSD? I suffer with anxiety too and I know how horribly debilitating it is so please be kind to yourself and take it easy (not easy when you're on Mum duty I know!) At it's worst the GP prescribed me some beta blockers which really helped calm things down.
Is there anyone who could sit with the DC while you chill for a bit? What helps me is to play some soothing music and meditate but I know that isn't for everyone. Lots of guided meditations for anxiety free on YouTube so if you feel like trying that just get the DC in front of the tv and lie on the sofa and listen. Just breathing steadily and slowly will help calm things.
It always helps me to remember that this will pass. You won't feel this way forever, I promise. Be extra kind to yourself and please talk to someone about the PTSD, help is available and you don't have to suffer.
Sending you a big un-Mumsnetty hug! X

I think these are all symptoms of your PTSD, with the anxiety of your job compounding the symptoms. I’m no expert but I’m now sure I had PTSD after my DH was killed. I had all the symptoms you have, still have some of them. I regret not getting help as I’m sure with some sort of treatment , maybe therapy, I wouldn’t have suffered so much.
Everything you’re describing — the depersonalisation, going out but feeling you have to rush to get home, the being in your head and not seeing what’s around you —- that was all me as well.
Please go back to your GP, get signed off sick for a week or two and sleep all you can while your dc are in school.
It’s a shit feeling —- and no one can see it. Huge hug from me.

@alwaysontheloo yes, I’m on antidepressants. Used to be on beta blockers but had to come off them because of my asthma.
My dc is wonderful but very demanding- always wants me to give him my full attention!

@Xpologog I’m so sorry to hear about your dh! Maybe you could still get some help? I’m having CBT but it’s not doing much to help yet.

I’ve got two weeks off in April so I’m slowly crawling towards that and I’m jacking in my 2nd job because it’s just too much.

I often feel so awful that I take a cuddly toy out with me in my bag- that sounds pathetic doesnt it