Could you live in a commune?

[LaraDeSalle]

It sounds like my idea of hell but I was surprised recently when one of our friends said they could see more people opting out of the rat race and living in groups of like minded people and becoming self sufficient.

I don’t meant religious or sex cults but people that would buy a share in land and build their own properties, utilising individual skills and farm the land and generate power etc with everyone taking an active part until they are physically unable to.

Not sure how it would work if anyone became unwell or injured but they would at least all be eating more healthy if living off the land!

There would of course have to be a selected leadership group and all decisions would be by voting.

I think people like me would end up wanting to kill others but I wonder if it anyone thinks they could make it work for them and would enjoy it?

I have some experience of this. Arguments about who decides what, disagreements etc, ended it. Very dependent on the personalities involved, the sharing of power, finances, etc. And if there is a common ideological goal (or religion) that can also be problematic.

Lots of good things too, though!

Now I know myself well I know I am not suited to it.

I do live in one I did an AMA about it ages ago!

Hell 0n earth I like my privacy and down time. I’m a loner love family times with in-laws very much but must have alone time.

I know someone who lives in one and she is lonely, demoralised and depressed. She is currently trying to arrange to leave.

I wouldn’t like it. We’ve recently moved to the countryside and have no neighbours at all. As we’ve got older we’ve realised that other than a few family member and close friends, we don’t really want to be around people. 😬

lammas.org.uk/en/gallery/

They all look very happy but I think I would last an hour!

Here's my AMA

It's ok. I've stuck at it for 10 years so I can't hate it that much

That looks okay op. There are separate smallholdings.

In fact I like the look of it!🤣

I imagine the vibe can change quite quickly depending on who moves in. It seems to me that it might work if everyone pulls their weight but they do seem vulnerable to lazy spongers who don't contribute.

Lammas is an eco village rather than a commune though. Not really the same thing.

@PierresPotato

In fact I like the look of it!🤣

The look of it and the reality of it might be very far apart. They aren’t going to show photos of two of the blokes fighting it out over who is going to weed the veg patch, are they?

@SoftPillow

No.

But I could live collectively with a female friend and her children. We'd share some chores, do one night of babysitting for the other a week.

I could live collectively with women but not with men. I don't know why, I like men, but have no desire to share living space with them and would only be drawn to a female only community.

This.

It would need to be a small group of people I already knew, probably mainly women. No randoms, no open invitation.

We explored a joint property purchase with close friends when we were younger, with a view to creating separate homes in the same building and sharing childcare etc, which would have worked if we’d been able to find the right place.

I’ve also loosely discussed this with my sister and other girlfriends as a later life option and think it could genuinely work as an alternative to all of us being left alone, rattling around in empty houses or having to move into retirement/sheltered accommodation, or imposing on our children. I’m sure the halcyon picture I have in my head wouldn’t quite measure up in reality, but I think it’s one way of dealing with potential isolation in old age. Choose the people you’ve liked all your life and actually want to be with rather than ending up amongst strangers.

But in any set up of this nature, personal, private space would be of paramount importance to me. And we’d all need to be pretty likeminded - I’d probably get murderous fairly quickly if everything had to be done by committee!

I'm not sure about a full on commune but my DBro and I (and my husband and DBro's girlfriend) often half-jokingly discussing pooling all our money and buying a big 6 bedroom house rather than 2 poky ones.

There are lots of big ex-student houses in our city so it is sort of practical as they tend to be cheap/run down.

No way. I enjoy my personal space privacy and independence far too much

We have joked about communal living with a very close friend and their partner. Buying one big home, splitting it into two residences and sharing childcare/skills maybe cooking and vehicles etc.

I guess I'd like a more village-like living of days gone by. Where I grew up, folk helped eachother out by sharing skills, shared resources and generally kept an eye out for eachother. It was a close knit community and by no means perfect but people rallied round.

Yes, I think I could. I’d like the mutual support and community living.

However, I’d worry that it would develop into a cult. Or the inmates have different visions on what to do. Or people wouldn’t get on etc.

It would have to be a commune where you have your op own house, rather than all share the same place etc.

I think there’s something to be said for this on the approach to old age. Pool resources and share bought in care would be a way out of the care home scenario, or old age isolation. We’ve got a good size house but thought the one big downside would be inheritance issues, we think with the way the world is the kids will need it!

I would if it was by the coast somewhere .

Not a commune but I'd like to live with like minded people if I was to find myself alone (if dh left me or died and ds moved out)

I've been away with friends / stayed with friends / had them stay with us and I love the "chip in" mentality

Someone tidies, someone cooks, someone nips to the shops, someone is pushing a clothes wash in and asks if anyone wants anything adding...

Also, there's always someone to chat with if I feel like it. I was away last week with friends and all of the above happened.

Sometimes we were all together, other times there'd be a couple of people sat outside, some in the kitchen (some off on their own) etc

Ha, i used to live in Througham as a young teen and we're the same age, so probs our paths crossed at the post office shop they had at The Camp or one of Whiteways brilliant jumble sales!

I have lived in 2 communes in my youth, house meetings, rotas, and the general politics i couldnt deal with these days.. however i live very close to Lammas (which OP linked to) and i hear good things about it, some of the houses are stunning, but not for me ta.

God no. I hate people.

I could live in a shack in the woods on my own though like some sort of hermit. As long as I still had wine and internet. I could happily go a decade without any people (DD excluded).

It's bad enough cleaning up after yourself and your own children without having to clean up after everyone else.

I don't really like having neighbours, let alone live in a commune! I'd wouldn't last 5 minutes!

The closest I got was living in a flat with an active residents' association. A shared communal garden, bins room and roof maintenance were too close for comfort. I did my best to avoid the active members.