Anyone awake? Cant stop crying

[panickyawfulnight]

Really worried my mum's stage 4 cancer has recurred. Again.

I feel dreadful and cannot stop crying, even though it's ridiculous, it doesn't change anything or do anything. Plus there is a chance it might turn out ok.

I'm not asking for anything specific just the waves of terror and grief feel very overwhelming just now.

Everything feels worse at night OP :( sympathy to you

I'm sorry OP. I really hope things turn out ok.

You are not alone OP and things will feel less scary in a few hours. Big hugs.

thank you, I feel better having written it down and got it off my chest.

It's getting light and you're not alone

Hope you are feeling calmer OP. Sounds like a tough time for you.

Stay strong OP- you have all been through so much already- keep pushing forward together. God bless you and your mum, get plenty of rest if you can and things will be clearer when you feed rested x

This time of the morning is always bad for imagining the worst. I’ve been there many times over the last few months!
Get up, make a cup of tea, have some toast and try to distract yourself. Take care x

Those waves of grief and fear just come out of nowhere sometimes. Take care, OP. Look after yourself.

I hope that writing it down and feeling some love from afar has calmed you down enough to sleep ❤ If not, get yourself a nice mug of tea, put your hands round it and feel it's comforting warmth.
Sending you and your mum my very best wishes

I’m in a similar position op so can understand how you are feeling. When do you find out results to see if it has come back? Waiting on an urgent referral date for my mum and it seems to feel like it’s taking forever, which it probably isn’t. If you are laying awake in bed can you get up and go and put the kettle on and find some distractions?

Praying that everything turns out OK, OP.

@SoloSunrise

I hope that writing it down and feeling some love from afar has calmed you down enough to sleep ❤ If not, get yourself a nice mug of tea, put your hands round it and feel it's comforting warmth. Sending you and your mum my very best wishes

What a beautiful message. Totally agree OP, a warm cup of tea is always so comforting. Take care of yourself and talk to your lovely mum about your fears if you can ❤️

The waiting and the uncertainty is unbearable, I know. Sending all best wishes.

So sorry you and your family are in this situation
Remember the night time makes everything feel a hundred times worse. Get up have a hot drink, put on the TV or read a book.

Are you able to go to her and be with her?

When my mums breast cancer recurred and was diagnosed as metastatic stage 4 I vividly remember driving down the M6 crying my eyes out. Titanium was on the radio 'you shoot me down but I won't fall'

I felt better just to be with her and give her a hug even though there was nothing anyone could do.

In the end, although we did not know it then, it was amazing how many effective treatments there are these days. Whilst nothing could cure her she still had a lot of good years after that day and we just concentrated on making the most of every opportunity.

It is OK to cry and be sad though because it is sad. We don't have to be brave all the time. Sometimes it's OK to give yourself over to the grief for a while I think and allow yourself to feel it.

I'm very sorry to hear about your mum. It's very scary to know that your parent is seriously unwell. I went through phases of crying constantly and also days where I felt completely numb. Spend as much time as you can with her, laugh, cry, reminisce and be her strength during this difficult time. I hope you have lots of support from friends and family.