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Original poster

How do I get DD to wear her glasses without a breakdown?!

32 replies

Glassesmare · 19/03/2022 17:46

My DD who is 5 got glasses 2 weeks ago. She was absolutely distraught that she needed them and has been in a state ever since we collected them.
She's cried so much that the skin around her eyes is bleeding, she's been sick from crying so much and she's refusing to eat saying it feels weird with them on. I have to watch her like a hawk otherwise she's hiding them or trying to break them. I've tried getting her books with characters with glasses and bought her a doll with glasses, but she just can't or won't calm down! I don't know what to do to help her. Please does anyone have any idea what I can do or tell me that it gets better!

OP posts:
Blimecory · 19/03/2022 17:50

Does she need them for distance or for close-up? Do any of you wear glasses?

clarrylove · 19/03/2022 17:52

Encanto is your friend!

Shitfuckcommaetc · 19/03/2022 17:52

Does she say why she hates them so much?
I'd get the prescription checked, as that all sounds so extreme

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Mosaic123 · 19/03/2022 17:54

A little bribery? Worth checking that they are not rubbing her and that the lenses are correct.

Blueemeraldagain · 19/03/2022 17:55

I’m not an expert (although I have worn glasses since I was about 6) but I would say if she’s that distressed I would leave it for a few weeks now. She hasn’t worn glasses for most of her life, a few weeks now won’t make much difference.
Then I would probably try re-introducing them with a big fanfare like the best birthday present ever with a party etc…..? What is she in to? Do you have an willing friends who could dress up as a favourite character to give them to her?

Mosaic123 · 19/03/2022 17:57

I had glasses at age 8. I was extremely miserable about wearing them as children at school were "teasing". I wore contact lenses as soon as I was allowed at age 13.

With your help for insertion, would that be a possibility?

IglesiasPiggl · 19/03/2022 18:04

Did she pick the frames herself? If not then you could maybe get another pair chosen by her. Do you know anyone she admires who wears glasses? Perhaps they could come and collect them with her if so. My DS got his first pair aged 7 and we chose the Harry Potter style ones, even though they were quite flimsy and not very practical. He loved looking like Harry Potter, and when they inevitably broke he was happy then with a more sturdy pair.

EscapeTheCastle · 19/03/2022 18:10

I went through this as a child and I wouldn't wear them until a teacher pointed out all the errors I had made copying something from the blackboard. That was some tough talk from her I can tell you. She talked it through with me there and then and made me wear them. I was about 6 or 7 at that time.
I can still remember how angry I felt until I realised I had no choice if I was ever going to get stuff right at school.
I realise that this story will not be of much help to you now. I wonder if you can link it to something she wants to see? Like the TV from the cosy sofa next to you, nice and safe? Showing her a favourite Pixar movie with and without her glasses?

SoyaChai · 19/03/2022 18:11

I refused to wear mine and still do as an adult tbh.

It gives me a very weird sensation on the bride of my nose and forehead, even just imagining having them on does it to me. It makes me need to raise my eyebrows and back my head away from whatever is causing the sensation. It's intolerable.

If it's something like that for your DD, I don't know how to counter it because I've never been able to Sad

Bloatstoat · 19/03/2022 18:24

My DS was a bit younger so not as capable of arguing, but we just used lots of bribery. We started that he HAD to wear them for 30 mins each day, and he got a marble in a jar each time he did it and did it without complaining. Then he got a marble for every extra 10 minutes he wore them - to begin with I just didn't tell him he'd done more than 30 mins until he had, then made a big deal of how he had 'earned' another marble - sometimes he would do a bit longer, sometimes not. His jar filled up fairly quickly, and he got a paw patrol figure. We continued until he was ok wearing for a couple of hours, then gradually increased the time he had to wear them to get the marbles. Over time he built up to wearing them for half a day, then all day - we kept making the time period to get the marbles longer and then he got into the habit, and was ok. You have my sympathy, it's awful to see them so upset. DS actually likes his glasses now he's a bit older and into Harry Potter, so Encanto may help as PP have suggested!

Original poster
Glassesmare · 19/03/2022 18:31

Thanks for your replies. She needs them for distance. Her prescription is quite strong and she's actually been referred to the hospital although we don't have an appointment date yet. I am wondering if the lenses are correct but they were really thorough as we had 2 appointments before she was prescribed them and she chose the frames herself. I wear glasses, as does her brother, grandma, 2 aunties and her best friend, so she's surrounded by people who wear them. Her class of reception buddies are so jealous of her glasses and they all want them too so I don't think it has anything to do with teasing either.

It didn't occur to me that she would be allowed contact lenses at her age but I will ask about them as that might be more comfortable. She's always been quite particular about sensations and things touching her but I thought she'd be a bit better about it 2 weeks later. She adores her teacher so I'll ask her to have a word about how the glasses will help her so much more at school.

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 19/03/2022 18:33

I refused to wear mine and still do as an adult tbh.

Do you drive?
Do you drive without your glasses on?

Stop being such a baby and grow up or get some contact lenses!

minipie · 19/03/2022 18:36

I’d be very surprised if they let a 5 year old have contacts, I’d have thought the infection risk would be too high.

It does feel weird when you start wearing glasses, it takes a bit of getting used to. I would agree with building up wearing them little by little (start with 5 minutes and go from there?) and bribery. Maybe try while watching a movie as (a) it will distract her and (b) she might realise the details she’s been missing without them? Perhaps chocolate buttons for time with the glasses on?

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 19/03/2022 18:36

It could well be a sensory issue. I'm the opposite and can tolerate glasses fine, but can't cope with contacts as I can't stand the idea of something in my eye, and putting them in often made me gag, lol.

First step for me would be taking her back to the opticians to check they've not made a mistake with her prescription and to make sure the frames are fitting properly and aren't too heavy or uncomfortable on her face.

savehannah · 19/03/2022 18:39

My dd wore her glasses at that age but now (aged 15) and for the past three or four years barely ever wears them. Apparently it doesn't bother her that she walks around in a blur....so I've given up. She puts them on to watch manga with subtitles.... and to see the board at school but that's it.

Blimecory · 19/03/2022 18:41

If her prescription is strong, the glasses might be heavy on her nose, behind her ears, etc.

UpToMyElbowsInDiapers · 19/03/2022 18:44

If they are for seeing at a distance, could you start her out wearing them only when she will see things close up? I’m thinking like in the washroom where everything is nearby, in the car if you’re driving in the dark, crazy idea but maybe even reading together in the closet…

The reason I suggest this is that it will help you isolate what the problem is: is it uncomfortable wearing them (around her ears, bridge of her nose, etc) or is she just completely weirded out by seeing things very crisply at a distance when she is unused to being able to do so?

Whenever I’ve received a new prescription (also for distance) it’s a very strange sensation and I can relate to feeling upset about it. Usually when I look down the street for the first time I actually feel dizzy and nauseous. It can take a day or two to adjust.

Sorry this is so hard for her! Sounds stressful!

Tomliboosrule · 19/03/2022 18:48

My daughter had strong first glasses (+2.75) and she struggled for the first week or so. The optician explained to us that her glasses were blurry at first as they were trying to train her eyes to be stronger. It worked as after 18 months and various prescriptions she now has perfect vision.
Maybe she is struggling to see through them?

Original poster
Glassesmare · 19/03/2022 18:50

I think I'll try and do it more gradually. I feel awful now that I've been a bit harsh on her getting her to wear them constantly. I imagine it must be strange seeing things so sharply after just seeing a blur for 5 years!

OP posts:
LadyDanburysHat · 19/03/2022 18:52

Can you start small with them. Only an hour at a time or something. And build up so she gets used to them.

user1471538283 · 19/03/2022 18:55

I wonder that as they are quite strong they make her feel a bit sick and out of sorts? I walked like a baby calf when I first got new glasses.

With my DS I always said to give things two weeks. So she is to try and wear them for two weeks. By then her eyes might have adjusted and she will be used to them.

Dillidalli · 19/03/2022 18:58

What prescription is she? How short sighted? If it’s not a very big prescription then is there any point in her being forced to wear them?
I doubt they’ll give her contacts yet, she has to be able to put them in/take them out and care for them.

Perhaps a few trips to the cinema sat at the back will entice her to wear them.

Dillidalli · 19/03/2022 19:00

I had the opposite problem, I told my mum over and over that I couldn’t see the board at school (comprehensive) and she didn’t believe me. When I finally had glasses I was amazed at what I’d been missing out on!

emma1103 · 19/03/2022 19:02

Ive worked in opticians 14 years and we 100% would not fit a 5 year old with contacts. The only place you could ask, would be the eye hospital.

Please keep persevering. I know its hard, but you just need to keep putting them back on her. Reward charts for keeping them on, etc. If its how they feel, have a look at tomato glasses. They are amazing for how they fit, etc.

Roselilly36 · 19/03/2022 19:08

Go back to the opticians, ask for the fit to be checked and the prescription, explain the problems you are having etc. They will help find a resolution. Good luck.