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Original poster

Would you buy a house for DS and GF to live in?

96 replies

DetailMouse · 18/03/2022 18:43

It's just a thought ATM.

DS's GF has secured a job about 3 hours from here. DS hopes to be able to tf with his current employer.

It's nice place to live, they'll be on national payscales the cost of living there is lower than here. It seems like a good move for them.

They'll need to rent, which I realise is perfectly normal, but does mean saving to buy at a later date will be difficult.

I have some money I need a home for. I'm thinking I could buy a small house for them to live in, they can either pay me a modest rent or I'll charge them full rent and save it for him them without their knowledge. In this new area I could buy outright at a fraction of the price a similar house would cost here.

I've got no intention of buying a house for them, I have another DC still living at home who I'd need to be able to do the same for if needed, among other considerations.

Anyway, great idea they get a good landlord and you should get good tenants

Or, stupid idea and likely only to lead to fraught relationships?

OP posts:
Nelliephant1 · 18/03/2022 18:48

Great idea!

Swimswimmer8 · 18/03/2022 18:50

I think it could be a good idea - but can you do the same for your other child? If not, it’ll possibly feel unfair.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 18/03/2022 18:50

Great idea

newbiename · 18/03/2022 18:50

Good idea

newbiename · 18/03/2022 18:51

Good idea but if she pays rent as well surely if you save the rent for a deposit it should be for both of them ?

Cakequeen1988 · 18/03/2022 18:51

Great idea as long as it is owned by you. I think the suggestion of them paying rent and saving it for him/them is excellent

thelonggame · 18/03/2022 18:52

great idea, I'd do it if I could and save the rent if I could afford to for him as a house deposit

piglet81 · 18/03/2022 18:52

What if they split up?

Will you be a proper landlord or keep it quiet? Who will be responsible for repairs etc?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 18/03/2022 18:52

How long have they been together? Do they live together currently?

QuebecBagnet · 18/03/2022 18:55

I think it’s a good idea and am considering the same. One thing to think about who chooses which house you buy? What happens when they have enough deposit to buy a house? Will you sell this to them? What if they don’t want it and rent it from you for a couple of years and then leave? Are you ok with being left with a house 3 hours away? Yes, you can sell it but you’ll be liable for capital gains tax.

Original poster
DetailMouse · 18/03/2022 18:57

@piglet81

What if they split up?

Will you be a proper landlord or keep it quiet? Who will be responsible for repairs etc?

I'm not sure wht you mean by keep it quiet?
OP posts:
Original poster
DetailMouse · 18/03/2022 18:58

@QuebecBagnet

I think it’s a good idea and am considering the same. One thing to think about who chooses which house you buy? What happens when they have enough deposit to buy a house? Will you sell this to them? What if they don’t want it and rent it from you for a couple of years and then leave? Are you ok with being left with a house 3 hours away? Yes, you can sell it but you’ll be liable for capital gains tax.
I'll only be liable for tax if I've made a gain so it will still be good business compared to bank interest - which I'd also have to pay tax on
OP posts:
Fangdango · 18/03/2022 18:58

It could be a good idea but I think you'd need to be upfront about advantages to them - i.e. keep the rent low if you want to help them out. Otherwise, they might feel exploited- and won't you be paying more tax on the rental income before handing anything back to them?

CormoranStrike · 18/03/2022 18:59

@newbiename

Good idea but if she pays rent as well surely if you save the rent for a deposit it should be for both of them ?
No, they both pay their share of the rent to their landlord. If OP wants to save that money for her DS that’s her choice
Original poster
DetailMouse · 18/03/2022 18:59

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

How long have they been together? Do they live together currently?
They've been together a year and are very serious indeed but they are very young. No, they don't live together.
OP posts:
Pixiedust1234 · 18/03/2022 18:59

Buy a house, make them pay just under market rent. Save the rent money to pay for future repairs on that property and also it will go partway to possibly buying a house (to rent) for your younger dc. Make sure its owned outright by yourself in case the split up a few years later. Protect yourself.

TheBigDilemma · 18/03/2022 19:00

Well… it depends, it may be a good thing for you but not for them. Personally, we never took an offer like that from my MIL as it came with some strings, we knew she would feel like she had a right to an opinion on how we decorated the house, kept it and use it and knew we would be feeling as if we would have to make up some way or another one for the “favour”.

Living in a rented place that we chose ourselves and not having the landlord popping in every now and then, gave us the independence to choose what we wanted, where we wanted and feel more at home than knowing we were living in MIL’s house.

Original poster
DetailMouse · 18/03/2022 19:01

No, they both pay their share of the rent to their landlord. If OP wants to save that money for her DS that’s her choice

This is my view. They'll pay me rent which will be my money to do with as I choose, which could be a new car 😆 or split between both my DC for house deposits or if the relationship has longevity I could give it to the two of them.

OP posts:
TheBigDilemma · 18/03/2022 19:03

And if you go ahead, please make sure you don’t decamp there for overnight visits regularly. It is extremely infuriating, I know of three couples who ended up splitting up because, after getting a house with the help of the bank of mum and dad, the parents were visiting all the time or for extended periods and they didn’t feel the could tell them not to.

Original poster
DetailMouse · 18/03/2022 19:04

@TheBigDilemma

Well… it depends, it may be a good thing for you but not for them. Personally, we never took an offer like that from my MIL as it came with some strings, we knew she would feel like she had a right to an opinion on how we decorated the house, kept it and use it and knew we would be feeling as if we would have to make up some way or another one for the “favour”.

Living in a rented place that we chose ourselves and not having the landlord popping in every now and then, gave us the independence to choose what we wanted, where we wanted and feel more at home than knowing we were living in MIL’s house.

Yes, this is what I meant by fraught relationships.

I won't be popping in, it's 3 hours away, but I hope I'll visit sometimes (wherever they live) and whilst I won't expect a say on decor etc, I will expect the house to be respected as I'm sure all landlords do, but don't alway get.

OP posts:
TwinklyBranch · 18/03/2022 19:04

No. Or at least not yet. They should rent at first until they get to know the place, are confident they like their jobs etc, know they don't want to quit and go travelling etc.
It does sound a bit like you want to buy them a place because it would be a convenient investment for you. They might want to stand on their own feet and be perfectly happy renting while they save for a deposit especially the girlfriend.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 18/03/2022 19:05

They've been together a year and are very serious indeed but they are very young. No, they don't live together

Then I think you are being premature. She hasn't moved yet, he hasn't got a transfer yet, they've never lived together and they are dating a year.

I'd hold fire. Wait.

NoSquirrels · 18/03/2022 19:06

great idea they get a good landlord and you should get good tenants

But only if

  • you act professionally as a landlord, not as a MIL/mother (proper AST agreement in both names, no interfering on day-to-day stuff, remember ‘quiet enjoyment’)
  • your DS and GF act professionally as tenants (no treating the property disrespectfully, pay rent on time etc)
  • you’ve considered what might happen if they split up and he wants to move back home…
  • your DC2 has everything explained transparently
  • your DS1 and GF realise you may need to sell when DC2 requires a start away from home
MushroomCow99 · 18/03/2022 19:06

You'd need to register as a landlord if you take rent off them, if you don't it'll be fraud. You'd also be responsible for gas safety checks, electrical checks, etc. you'd need insurance too obviously.

It's not as easy as you think.

Original poster
DetailMouse · 18/03/2022 19:07

@Swimswimmer8

I think it could be a good idea - but can you do the same for your other child? If not, it’ll possibly feel unfair.
Yes, I could come to a similar arrangement.

The problem will be that he probably won't want to live in a cheaper area

OP posts:
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