Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Could KICK myself!

5 replies

stripeyflowers · 18/03/2022 16:37

I've just inadvertently upset someone and feel terrible. I'm posting here to ask if I should apologise the next time I see her or just leave it.

She isn't a friend as such, but we are friendly and will often sit on the same table. I see her once a week for the three hour while we listen to talks etc..

She has sight impairment and I think experiences other problems that aren't obvious. She has an assistance dog.

So today we sat at the same table an she clipped the dog's lead to the leg of the table. When it came time to go she was unbuckling the leash but seemed to be taking quite a while so I thought she was either struggling with the strap or couldn't quite see what she was doing as the lighting was quite dim.

I said 'can you manage' and she said yes she was fine, but then added 'I'm not that useless.' She didn't say it in a nasty way at all but I felt terrible like I had patronised her. I think she thought I asked because she has an assistance dog etc. but I would genuinely asked anyone as she did seem to be having problems and taking quite a while.

Should I apologise when I next see her or will that make it even worse?

OP posts:
Pyri · 18/03/2022 16:38

I wouldn’t apologise, if anything it sounds like she was making a joke which came out a bit more harshly than she meant.

I’d forget it and move on

GeneLovesJezebel · 18/03/2022 16:39

I wouldn’t. You would have asked anyone, you weren’t treating her any differently.
Sometimes you just can’t win.

LaraDeSalle · 18/03/2022 16:59

Don’t dwell on it. You made an offer of help to someone who having a little difficulty with something.

It doesn’t sound like she was being harsh with you, more like mocking herself as we all do from time to time.

Apologising will just make a thing if it and that may well annoy her.

LottyD32 · 18/03/2022 17:04

Can you manage is patronising though.

You should have said do you want a hand instead, not do you need a hand, not can you manage.

stripeyflowers · 18/03/2022 17:08

Thank you everyone, I agree with all your points. I do think drawing attention to it yet again by apologising won't help!

I seem to keep doing this lately, putting my foot in it with people. :(

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page