Please help - toddler bad eating habits, how to break them?

[youhadmeatjello]

Two year old DS was a brilliant eater - would eat everything and anything, lots of veg, fruit… I didn’t offer lots of sweet snacks of anything and he just drank water or milk.
He got Covid and then lost his appetite and when it came back he was a lot fussier.
My mum looks after him three mornings a week and I’m hugely grateful but because he’s fussy and turns down fruit and things she offers him lots of snack type food, fruit shoot to drink… and now that’s all he wants!
I’ve asked her to stop but obviously he gets upset and cross because he wants it now he’s had it and she’s really soft on him.
I’m looking at him going to nursery those mornings instead but I’m looking for advice on how I can make meal times and snack times less of a battle now at home.
He pushes water away and wants “juice”, he pushes fruit away and asks for a “bar” instead (those kiddie organix oat bar things) etc etc
I have been guilty of giving into him when we are out and about and I just need to whip round and get things done but I know I need to crack down on it more now so he doesn’t think he rules the roost

I’m aware these packet snacks aren’t too bad here and there but it’s all he asks for now.

Fortunately he will eat a decent dinner, even though he immediately asks for dessert (always yogurt occasionally a little pot of custard).

I’m just unsure as to whether this is a normal stage (he’s my first) and just to whether the battle, offer him what he can have and that’s that or what’s the best way to deal with it.

Anyone?

I think you are fine to keep the oat bars as snacks for out and about.
The easiest way to say no to 'juice' is simply don't have any in the house. If he pushes the water away, you just say that there isn't any juice. Maybe he can have it at Granny's and you say 'only granny has juice, no juice here'. Ditto bars.

He can’t have what you don’t have in the house.
And yes, you sometimes have to give things you might not want to when out and about, for convenience. But try taking snacks with you.

I would just offer him the fruit as a snack and nothing else. If he asks for a bar then offer the fruit. Leave the fruit within his reach and don't enter anymore discussion on it. If he persists try and distract him with another activity to avoid a meltdown.

Tell your Mum no more juice/bars etc. otherwise you will be putting him into nursery. The habits he forms now will carry through into his childhood, with a bit of persistence you can get him eating better again.

It doesn't have to be a battle, he's expressing a preference but you don't have to give in/make a big deal.
He will drink water if he's thirsty and no juice is forthcoming and he will go back to eating fruit if nothing more exciting is offered. In the short term, if he refuses what you offer, simply clear up and move on to the next thing you're doing. No fuss, no drama. No negotiation either!

I wouldn’t worry too much because he’s eating a good dinner (presumably varied so keeping the habit of eating lots of good proper foods).

Re juice, just never have it in ur house. DD is 5 and I still only ever buy juice for a party or for a play date if I know the visiting child won’t drink water.

Oatibix bars are fine if it’s one here and there out and about.

Re your mum, one idea. Has your Dc had a dentist check up yet? They’re supposed to start going around now and I’m sure the dentist will say ‘no juice’ which you can pass onto your mum so it’s instructions from the dentist rather than you!

I know the struggle, was the same with DS after covid, not sure why.
Still fighting a bit, but getting better.
I basically prep his snacks and offer them to him ( fruit or veggie based) and tell him "here is your snack". If he is refusing it, I just leave it on the Kitchen table. After a while (could be even 1 hour), he starts eating. I pack it with me If we have to go out and give him reminders.

You are asking the wrong question. You don't need to break your toddler's bad eating, you need to break your mum's handing out baby junk food.
As long as she is giving ultra processed food to your son you stand no chance and the longer it goes on, the worst it will be.

You are wrong when you think they are not so bad. Ultra processed food change and alter food preferences and make accepting the "natural" version of food difficult if not impossible. The damage they cause on food habits goes way beyond the sugar/salt/fat content. IT is the processing, the additives, ...

Be blunt to your mum and tell her she is consolidating bad habits that will affect him for years . Ask your mum to start cooking and baking with your son. She will still be able to give him sweets, but it will be a home baked cookie.

You don't need to have snacks with you when out. There is a difference between hunger and being between meals. It is ok to go for a few hours without food. IF you really need to have something with you, make sure it is unprocessed. A fruit, some nuts, ...

Not snaking also means he will be hungry for meals and less fussy,

Thank you for the advice I feel awful about it and am really worried about his teeth. I made some baked oat bars myself and he had one of those today. He’s started accepting some fruit again so that’s something.
I’m going to still let him have a shared tea cake or scone occasionally when we go out for coffee but be stricter about it.

He’s having good dinners - this week:
Chilli with veg on the side
Homemade chicken curry with spinach, broccoli on the side and some triangles of toasted pitta
Spiced lamb mince and apricot with couscous and mixed veg
Chicken, leek and mushroom bake with carrot batons and babycorns (he won’t accept these as snacks only dinner)
Fishfinger, sweet potato mash, peas and sweetcorn

I’m trying to ensure he gets a varied dinner within his limited choices (gone off nearly all fish, only likes mince or chicken when it comes to meat and poultry)
I make him banana oat pancakes for breakfast or porridge, sometimes toast or cereal.

It’s lunch I really struggle with and he just wants to snack all the time when he’s in the pushchair.

I’ve already stopped juice today and he did eventually drink a tiny bit of water but nowhere near as much as he normally would.

Fortunately he is really good at brushing his teeth but I know I need to get on top of it. I feel like such a bad mum at the moment

For lunches, my go to has always been a plate with various cold things on it - carrot/cucumber/peppers/tomatoes, hummus or guacamole to dip, toast/pitta/rye crackers, cheese, chicken, beetroot, hard boiled egg etc.

It looks more exciting than most other lunches and even if they don’t like everything you’ll usually get the food groups in.

Re fish, dd has had funny phases with it too. A couple of things I going to get past it were:

Pasta in a tomatoey sauce with chopped sardines

Tuna pate - made by blitzing tuna and creme fraiche with lemon juice

Oh and stop feeling bad! Your dinner menu sounds fab!