Sen anxiety refusal school question

[usernametwopointO]

DS anxiety is at the point he's refusing to go to school sometimes due to issues at school which I am on and fighting to sort out. I've been taking him in late on refusal days as he does come around in the end with a slow gentle process of getting ready one step at a time in a very calm way (awaiting austim assessment)
But should I be encouraging him to a place he so obviously hates
I'm looking at all avenues different schools etc I am being very proactive in sorting this and just today filled in my own EHCP LA forms for assessment.
My worry is that I feel like sending him off to a place that he hates will have a detrimental effect? He will go sometimes when he has a club that day he enjoys or something is going on like tomorrow is Red Nose Day, he hates school in general but there are some days he will go without a fuss, it's so confusing to know what's the right thing to do

I was in the same situation 2 years ago. My dd has an ASD diagnosis and the anxiety hit when she transitioned (well tried to) into mainstream secondary. She couldn't cope with the noise, sheer volume if people, timetables literally everything. Her mental health hit the floor and it got really bad.

School were not great so while waiting for camhs appointment for anxiety we got our gp to give her a letter for school to excuse her due to anxiety. I then started a parent lead EHCP. She was out of education for months and months.

We got the ehcp a few months later and then were able to get her into alternative provision school. She's thriving. The whole school only has 30 pupils. It's for children with an ASD diagnosis and social and emotional problems. She's caught up easily.

Go for the ehcp but don't deregister them from the school as it makes it harder to get the ehcp, plus the fact your child is struggling to attend is good evidence for your ehcp. If you feel that their mental health is being severely impacted by attending school I'd get the doctors note and ask school for work to do at home in the meantime.

Best of luck

How old is he? And are the school being supportive?

I remember going into work when I hated my job, it destroyed my confidence. My ds is a school refuser - but I think of more as he can’t do it, due to his mental health. There’s a good Facebook group that might be worth joining if your on Facebook www.facebook.com/groups/NFISFamilySupport/?ref=share

@DownWhichOfLate

How old is he? And are the school being supportive?

7, they are now but it's too late in some respects, it's been going on a while and has gotten progressively worse, I didn't clock the behaviours we've been seeing as anxiety related until it's come to ahead recently with school refusal I put it down to the autism side, until things have come out through DS voicing stuff and me piecing it together I haven't been supported with the EHCP side hence me doing my own.

What's he like when he's there?
From experience as a teacher, the anxiety usually builds the longer they are off for.
If you can get into a pattern of getting him in to school, even for a short period, every day that should help.

Good luck for the EHCP.