Can anyone help me figure out what's going on?

[purpleeggdino]

Can anyone help me figure out what's going on with me...

99% of the time I am stressed, overwhelmed with life and exhausted. Always run down and unwell.

In the past I've always put this down to having anxiety, but I've tried so hard to work on this - had CBT, take antidepressants, exercise, eat well, practice mindfulness. I do all
I can to look after my mental health, but I cannot escape this feeling of stress and exhaustion, and I've started to wonder if something else is going on...

I had bloods done a while ago, after I couldn't get over a chest infection, but all came back as normal. I think they looked at all sorts, such as autoimmune diseases such as lupus, thyroid etc, but all ok.

Like everyone, I have a busy life, but I just don't seem to be able to cope like other people. I'm just so tired and stressed all the time, and I can't work out what's causing it.

I've wondered if i have adhd, as I find it very difficult to concentrate, I struggle with organisation, very forgetful and regulating my emotions - but then I think that these could all be symptoms of stress too. Then I wonder if I could have chronic fatigue - Im so tired I go to bed each night at 8:30 and sleep until 6am - if I I have a later night than around 9:30 it will take me days to get over it, but again maybe this is just stress???

Surely it's not normal to live life in a permanent state of stress? I feel like I spend my life like a rabbit in the headlights - I can never keep up with what's going on, I'm always overwhelmed, always feeling that the demands of life are greater than I can manage. It's making me so miserable and I feel like I'm wasting my life being stressed - when my life really isn't that bad.

Does anyone else recognise this? Or have any suggestions of things I could do?

I have adhd and another disease and since I started immune suppressants my resilience to stress fell through the floor. I can literally feel when my cortisol is rising in response to a stressful event and I feel extra tired afterwards. One of things I have done is to automate as much as possible so I don't have as much mental load.

I always reccommend supplementing with vit D in winter. Personally I have epsom salt baths when I feel stressed. To be honest it sounds like you are doing everything right if you eat well and exercise. Do you eat enough calories? Do you do much socially? This makes me feel stressed if I don't have much contact with people.

The only other thing I can think of is potassium levels as some anti depressants can affect potassium. I eat healthily but I do add a sprinkle of salt when I cook and have bananas which are a good source of potassium.

Is it getting any better now the daylight hours are increasing?

ADHD and anxiety tend to go hand in hand particularly in undiagnosed adults. The anxiety/depression comes from never really understanding why you feel so "different" from other people. It could be you have both and are affected by them causing a varied and large amount of symptoms. It might be worth you going for assessment with a specialist in this area, it can go undiagnosed even if you are seen by psychiatrists/psychologists, it really needs to be a specialist in ADHD and neurodiversity.

I'd like to do more socially, but most of the time I just feel too wiped out. After a week at work I feel I could spend one day of the weekend in bed asleep - I don't as I have kids - but I think I could easily!

I don't find it gets any better or worse in the summer or winter - but I definitely think I'll try and vitamin d supplement and I think I'll also look up antidepressants and potassium. I could also definitely do with automating some of the mental load - even organising a food shop once a week feels totally overwhelming a lot of the time!
Thank you @MistySkiesAfterRain

@Cutemob

ADHD and anxiety tend to go hand in hand particularly in undiagnosed adults. The anxiety/depression comes from never really understanding why you feel so "different" from other people. It could be you have both and are affected by them causing a varied and large amount of symptoms. It might be worth you going for assessment with a specialist in this area, it can go undiagnosed even if you are seen by psychiatrists/psychologists, it really needs to be a specialist in ADHD and neurodiversity.

I have wondered about seeking an assessment for adhd - but I guess I would need to do that privately? Is there any kind of 'screening' before you are assessed? I do wonder if I could have adhd, but that's mainly based on things I've read online so I would be concerned about spending a lot when I could be barking up the wrong tree

It sounds like a build up of anxiety to me, it can be very debilitating. Have you considered increasing/changing your anti depressant prescription, it can take a while to find the right level? I’d try that before thinking about an ADHD assessment.

B12 deficiency?

Reading your post is like reading my own internal monologue at the moment. I'm also wondering if I have ADHD. I've been taking B12 and D3 supplements for 5+ years. It won't hurt, but it won't magically make you NT either...

I don't take medication for my adhd as I found the stimulants increased my anxiety during lockdown. Not gone back to try anything else.

I've been doing Gousto and its honestyl great. Considering I would waste food and buy ready meals it is more economical. You also build up a stock of meal cards and eventually I will stop and just rotate those.

I have a code, I think you can get your first box for about £12. Here it is:

I love Gousto and I think you will too! Use code CATHE43038281 to get an exclusive 65% off your first box, PLUS 30% off for a whole month
cook.gousto.co.uk/raf?promo_code=CATHE43038281&utm_source=androidapp

Sorry I sound like an advert for it. The novelty though hasn't worn off yet. Having a stressful day then not having to think as I have something ready to cook.

@MistySkiesAfterRain

Sorry I sound like an advert for it. The novelty though hasn't worn off yet. Having a stressful day then not having to think as I have something ready to cook.

Well yes, you’ve ignored most of the op’s serious issues and used her minor side complaint of the inconvenient food shop to plug your gousto code which gets you a huge amount of money off yours.

Hi OP,

You might want to come over and have a look at the Neurodiverse Mumsnetters section, I’ve found it very helpful. There are links to online tests which might help you to start off a discussion with your GP.

Have you always felt like this/did you struggle at school? That might indicate you were ND. It was a massive revelation to me when I realised not everyone was so flummoxed by the machinations of everyday life (I’m autistic). Be kind to yourself - this is a bit of a voyage of discovery

Two things stood out to me from a health perspective: how old are you? Did you have hormone tests done as exhaustion/anxiety can also be a symptom of peri menopause/menopause.

Also look carefully at your ferritin levels. I think the NHS cutoff is 10 but that’s incredibly low - I think they should be over 40 to be considered optimal.

Are you a mouth breather?

If you are, this might be interest you.

@Babadook76 okey, I did comment further up.

Thanks everyone and for the gusto code @MistySkiesAfterRain
We used to use them a while ago - I'm not sure why we stopped as they were really quite handy.

@Inthemane are ferritin levels reported as 'ferritin' on bloods? I have the NHS app and can see all my blood results but I can't see that so I don't know if it was checked.

I don't really have any recollection of difficulties as a child, I was always a bit last minute and lazy, but I didn't really struggle in school. It's really been since finishing university and starting in my first proper 15 odd years ago - I haven't felt at peace much at all during all these years, just lurching from stress to stress. Maybe I should take it as a sign to stop working  (if only I could!!).

I'm 37, so I suppose could be early peri, but this is a long standing issue so I'm not sure it's that.

@Paperthin282 DP says I snore terribly, so I'm definitely going to have a look at this.

@purpleeggdino As part of a full blood count NHS check for low haemoglobin and low mean cell volume (MCV) and only then if they are low they’ll check ferritin:

cks.nice.org.uk/topics/anaemia-iron-deficiency/diagnosis/investigations/

I had a private test so ferritin was included - weirdly my haemoglobin was normal but ferritin was low!

Good luck with it all, it’s no fun to be exhausted stressed and unwell all the time

Thanks @Inthemane
I have finally managed to access my NHS test results on the app. It says my MCV was 86.1 and that normal range is 83-101. So at the lower end of normal I guess. But I guess your experience proves that it doesn't necessarily mean my ferritin levels aren't low.
Out of interest, and if you don't mind me asking, did you have your tests done as part of a private screening/health check?

Should have also said 'haemoglobin estimation' seemed to pretty much bang in the middle of normal range.

@purpleeggdino Yes, I had a Medichecks test if I remember correctly, it tested loads of different stuff

Came to say B12 deficiency. I've recently found out I am deficient, in addition to anxiety and having a little one and it's so exhausting.

Are you diabetic/have you had glucose checked too?

You say you wondered about ADHD, could it be any other MH issues like depression or PTSD?

Agree re vit D as well. Take it daily. Make sure you keep hydrated too. Can't help with antidepressants I'm afraid as I'm not on them. Hope you feel better soon, OP

Unexpected but have you considered coeliac disease?

It took me a long time to develop the gur symptoms but prior to that I felt absolutely as you described, especially the anxiety and the exhaustion.

Sounds like it could be adrenal fatigue. Might be worth looking into it.

Hello
I thought I'd post an update in case anyone is interested.
I did a medichecks blood test and it came back that I'm deficient in vitamin d. My GP has now put me on a short course of high dose of vitamin d, which I'm hoping will help.
B12, thyroid, ferritin all came back as in the normal or optimal range.

I'm not really feeling any better yet, and my mood is very low, but I remain hopeful the short course of medication will help, followed by a supplement long term. I'm not 100% sure this is the only issue, but I'll give fixing it a go, and then reassess when my levels are back to normal.

Hi @purpleeggdino just saw your update. I hope the vitamin D is helping you feel better. I don't know if it's helpful, but I read that vitamin D needs vitamin K and magnesium in order to be absorbed properly by the body.

betteryou.com/blogs/health-hub/magnesium-vitamin-d-benefits-dosages-types-supplements

@purpleeggdino

Hi OP, sorry I didn't come back to you sooner, I didn't really have an answer for you. However I just thought about a couple of things you could do re "screening" for ADHD. Just researching it all really.
Number one go on TokTok. Just search ADHD on there and you will find lots of professionals and ADHD individuals themselves talking about symptoms and the finer details of how it can manifest. It's been really revelatory for me and a lot of the symptoms are so recognisable when given context in everyday life. I'll see if I can link to one that just really got to me!

Tiktok ADHD

Also- I considered taking my daughter for private assessment, I found a great website of a clinician I was thinking of using in the north of England. On their own website they ask you to go through a number of symptoms and try to think of specific examples of when this has happened to you or your child. Again it was revealing as I could think of several examples for each. I will try to link. Hope this helps.

Clinical partners

The other thing I wanted to say is that I have been where you are. I still am in a lot of ways- but I did end up realising that I was iron deficient and after supplementary iron I improved so so much. It's worth sorting all of that side of things out too, even if there is also an alternative neurotype at play if that makes sense.