Need to change, but don't know where to start

[Restlessrose]

I thought I would start this thread for other mums like me who feel like they have so many areas of their life to work on they don't know where to start.

I have pretty much no friends
My kids are out of Control
My business is failing
I'm in debt
My physical Health is a mess.
I have no money
My house if falling down

But I'm trying!

Anyone else feel like their life is a mess and don't even know where to start to make it better?

Anyone?

Yes. I have no idea where to start but I'm plodding on and know I need to start breaking everything down and start somewhere.
Do you have a plan?

Personally I find it too overwhelming to view things as a whole, and much more manageable and realistic to break it down into specific things and focus on 1 or 2 at a time. I'd prioritise, although it all sounds stressful finances would be top for me and the rest would feel more doable if I wasn't as stressed about that. As to how to sort it that's of course not easy. When you say your business is failing, are there any remedial actions you think might work, or is it sadly not as viable anymore?

I'm working a little bit on all the issues, but not sure it's the best tactic because I'm never really fixing anything just keeping the balls in the air.

My business has potential and I'm having mentoring. But I'm not giving it my full attention (or enough of my attention at all really) as I'm struggling with my other life stuff. I am frustrated because I am motivated just other stuff always has to take priority.

I only seem to 'firefight' I never get beyond that really.

Things with my kids are really getting in the way, I'm a single parent so it all falls on me. And when I'm exhausted from that I don't have what I want to give to the other areas of my life

When I feel overwhelmed I decide that just one thing is going to go well tomorrow and that I will go to bed early.

If i take control of my bedtime then it's one thing that I know I can do well and that starts a chain reaction of making better choices for me.

Perhaps tomorrow you could go for a walk. Maybe take the kids and decide that you will be strict getting there but once you are somewhere safe like a park you will be fun mum and play with them and be strict walking home.

I find when I feel overwhelmed I start checking out and the only way I feel better is making myself check in.

What balls can you drop?

Personally I'd park the house and friends issue.

What childcare is available through funded hours? Do you need to do your business now? Can you take some time out?

Get up 30 mins earlier in the morning. Start you day before Dc wake up with cup of tea and 10-20 mins of either meditation or affirmations or yoga or journalling. It sets you up for the day.

Do 5 minute clear ups and declutter sessions - set timer on phone and chuck away as much as you can in 5 mins. Especially broken stuff you won;t ever get round to mending, clothes you feel rubbish in, items that depress you or have bad memories. Uncluttered rooms are way easier to clean.

Micro actions really add up. Do squats while you clean your teeth, high knees while the kettle boils etc.

Kids are more in control when you give them control. Create nice routines. Morning breakfast together and discuss the day, so they know what to expect. Give them choices. Gove them small responsibilities and rewards. Focus hard on what they do right, not what they do wrong. Say what they need to hear without raising your voice but without wavering. One word commands work well: 'Shoes!' 'Bath' - in a nice voice, but say nothing else until shoes are on or boy is in bath.

Can't advise on your business much without knowing what it is, except to say, break it down into minute steps and do three of them at least every single day. Grow it organically. Don't waste time and effort on massive expensive marketing plans or equipment without seeing how stuff sells locally.

Had a bit of a better day. Trying to just think of what I could achieve. I do struggle when I feel like it's just going to take forever to get things done and I'm always going to be this lonely, unhappy, unsuccessful person. It's demoralising when everything seems an uphill struggle, especially going two steps forward then one step back each time it's hard to feel like I'm making progress.

I've been trying to be a better parent today, and to be kinder myself. Also did some housework. Cancelled a bit of work, which might have repercussions but I could feel that I was on a negative spiral and needed a mental health day.

Some people seem to just have all their shit together, whereas none of mine is 😂