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Original poster

What age to go to activity and lock house alone?

11 replies

LockUpAlone · 17/03/2022 08:29

DD is (a mostly sensible ) 10 year old. She does a lot of after school activities, DS not a lot. DS wants to start an activity but it clashes with a team training of DD's.

At the moment there are 4 of them from our village who go so I only need to do one run a week. The other 3 are a bit older, 11-13, the 13 year old lives in the same block of flats as we do. If I were to let DS start his activity, then I would need to leave DD at home whilst I take DS to the next town. It's on a day when one of the other parents brings them, usually the 13 year old rings for DD and they walk up to the collection point at the end of our road.

Would you let your 10 year old stay home for 45-60 minutes, lock up and go to the activity? We wouldn't be back until after she's supposed to leave. I can contact her when she is in the flat as she has use of a phone which is connected to our Wi-Fi.

OP posts:
Aroundtheworldin80moves · 17/03/2022 08:30

Can she lock the door easily?

Original poster
LockUpAlone · 17/03/2022 08:33

Yes, it's easy to lock. The key the kids use has an AirTag on it.
I could also turn on the video monitor, although that seems like an over reaction.

OP posts:
Original poster
LockUpAlone · 18/03/2022 13:44

I've asked her about it and she's a bit apprehensive at the thought of getting herself ready and out on time. But she should be able to manage that at this age shouldn't she? She can sort her bag and get changed before I go out. We can set alarms on the phone and I can call her to check she's ready.

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Billandben444 · 18/03/2022 15:23

If she's a bit apprehensive then you need to listen to her. Is the 13-yr old a friend - could you drop her off in their flat before you go or would that be an imposition? If not then perhaps a couple of dry runs (let her practice being on her own and locking up while you take DS round the corner for 30 mins). If she doesn't feel confident then I'd hesitate tbh but if she's practiced it and can trust that you'll always be in phone contact...

MaizeAmaze · 18/03/2022 15:30

Has she ever spent that length of time on her own?
What happens if she doest lock the door (ours isn't deadlocked, but can't be opened by pushing the handle, so the house is sort of secure).
Locking the house and leaving on time was the last thing DS did in terms of going it alone. Home alone, followed by letting himself in, followed by going to school alone. He is nearly 11, and has only done the last one half a dozen times, but he begged to do it, as he hated the ad hoc childminder.

Original poster
LockUpAlone · 18/03/2022 15:44

I'm not sure I could ask for her to go to friends flat as it would be every week and they have a young toddler too.
She has been on her own a couple of times for that length of time, not regularly though. And she hasn't had to get herself out anywhere, we've always come home to her.
She's let herself in a couple of times over the past year. DC1 has regular medical appointments and on the days we've had to take the bus it's a bit tight to get back before her so she would take the key to school and let herself in and we'd be there 5-10 minutes after.
I think she's more concerned about the getting herself ready on time aspect than not being able to lock the door!

OP posts:
nearlyspringyay · 18/03/2022 16:00

No it's too much responsibility for a 10 yo, mine wouldn't set the alarm or deal with escapologist dog.

Kite22 · 18/03/2022 16:17

It depends so much on the individual. dc2 would have been fine with this but dc1 nor 3 not so much so.
I think you need to listen to what she is saying, that she isn't ready.

I agree with BillandBen that I would explain the situation to the other family and ask if she can loiter at theirs for the 30mins before they need to leave. At 10, she won't need 'looking after' as such, so I wouldn't have any issue with it if I were the friend's parent.

reluctantbrit · 18/03/2022 16:44

With 10, no. DD would have had the same apprehension about getting ready on time.

18 months later, and in Y7, no problem at all. She did it regularly prior to pandemic when DH was travelling and I wouldn’t make it home in time from work to bring her.

Original poster
LockUpAlone · 21/03/2022 07:36

We're going to wait about 5 months and give her some time to get used to the idea. She'll stop the sessions on that day and I'll try to get her a place in the activity DS wants to do. Coach doesn't mind as it's still a sport, she can keep her spot but she has to be in all training sessions at the beginning of next season. We can practice a bit with her over the summer.

OP posts:
Bairnsmum05 · 21/03/2022 09:05

Mine was doing this from P6 but then we had no other choice. All fine and he's excellent at putting alarm om and locking up.

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