Lost the magic/sparkle in parenting, anyone else?

[Ponyclubkick]

I have 3 DD’s 15, 13 and 10. I love them to absolute pieces and they are in whole amazing kids but I’m losing the love for parenting them and finding joy in the everyday routines and tasks as I once did

Obviously they were all very little at the same time but I don’t remember it being hard just fun, loving and magical, Sunday mornings with its pancakes and the smell of freshly washed shampoo, endless dance shows in Disney princess dances, crafting with all the glitter and not caring where it went, rosy cheeks and welly’s, homemade Halloween costumes and birthday decorations, little hands in yours to cross the road or even when they felt a bit unsure, the list is just absolutely endless.

I was just lying here giving myself a hard time as I don’t make the big two girls their breakfast in the morning but then I remembered that I tried for months to be met with roll of the eyes “I don’t eat in the morning, it makes me feel sick” “mum why are you so extra”...

I’m met with resistance as such in nearly every moment, from stand offs a meal times because food isn’t ethically farmed, organically sourced, rolls of the eyes constantly in conversation about how politically incorrect I am (last time because I referred to someone’s brother and I’d instantly misgenderd them)

Spending most evenings ferrying them to clubs, friends houses, sports practice spending most of our earnings on said hobbies to be told that they are so hard done by and their friends get everything they get and more, we also have the “such in such’s house is AMAZING” their bedroom is the size of our entire downstairs...

They come in, bags are dumped, straight upstairs to their room and don’t come back down until they want food or the WIFI has dropped...

I get that they are growing up and it’s mostly typical teenage behaviour but it all just feels like such hard work compared to the simpler younger years and I sometimes feel completely redundant and useless.

I wondered if anyone else felt the same?

OP stop looking at it as "parenting" and reframe as "getting the kids successfully to 18 as best I can" and you'll feel much better.

Mine are exactly the same age as yours OP and I hear you!!

However, I will forever and always be in limbo as despite my eldest two being typical, independent, healthy, grumpy teens, my 10 year old is profoundly disabled (think toddler) so I don't and never will get the upshot of 'my life back' and never will! Yay! 🙄

''stand offs a meal times because food isn’t ethically farmed, organically sourced, rolls of the eyes constantly in conversation about how politically incorrect I am''

''Spending most evenings ferrying them to clubs, friends houses, sports practice spending most of our earnings on said hobbies to be told that they are so hard done by and their friends get everything they get and more, we also have the “such in such’s house is AMAZING” their bedroom is the size of our entire downstairs...''

''They come in, bags are dumped, straight upstairs to their room and don’t come back down until they want food or the WIFI has dropped...''

I don't recognise that behaviour being routine. I think you need to tell them to give you a bit more bloody respect!

It's one thing to allow them to pull away naturally from the primary fun stuff and total control over their eating habits. Allowing them to have a different/stronger political opinion from you ect

But no to the treating you and the house like shit OP!

IMO and experience tweens need to see you flex your muscles a bit. It teaches them you're still strong enough to stand up to them and FOR them if needs be. Even though they're so very grown up now ;)

(I have 4 DDs. 3 or them are 20 something)

I don't behave like some sergent major by the way

It is a tricky balance between letting them spread their wings and chose their own path, while at the same time, while they're under your roof, keeping to decent behaviour, i agree. But it needs to be found. Helping to cook. Helping with the table. Couple of chores each. Do what you like after a certain time. Moan about the food and it wont get served up any more. ect.

@Octopus37 it is the strangest thing and despite being a little grumpy my new peri personality is quite liberating.
I’m honestly dreading grandchildren and I know that sounds horrible.

Yep!