New mum with grey hair?

[39andgrey]

I’m 39 and probably about 50% grey, and it’s all at the front of my bed. I dye it very dark brown (my hair colour before it went grey!). But I am absolutely sick of the upkeep and the constant grey roots and I am going to start the process of growing it out.

But I want another baby!

Someone made a flippant remark about how a new mum with grey hair would look funny. It’s made me a bit paranoid.

Would someone look odd with grey hair and a baby bump / a new baby?

I know it’s a very shallow thing to think about, but I’d be 40 by the time I had another anyway (if I am lucky enough to have another) and am already feeling a little “older mum” at the thought.

I look young - apart from my hair probably - which will probably age me, although I think the roots do already anyway. I’m not sure really.

I wouldn't give it a second thought!!

She just made me feel a bit paranoid!

I’ve had a lot of comments like “why would you?” When I’ve told people I’m growing out my grey hair, and I think it’s making me feel a little self conscious! And also a bit sad that I’ve lost a bit more of my youth, maybe.

Just to add - I don’t mean a few strands, I mean I’ll probably look entirely grey because it’s all at the front (iyswim).

Weird that you're even worried about this...

Don’t give it a second thought- people pay to have their hair dyed grey - it’s very “in” (I like to think I started the trend).

Also, environmentally it’s much better.

Grey is all in at the moment you couldn’t be anymore stylish if you tried, just get a funky cut, Good luck.

I was a new mum with grey hair with my younger 2, and it was fine. Whoever said that is weird and agest.

*ageist

How bizarre. The colour of my hair never crossed my mind.

Totally fine.
Plenty of new dads are grey so I really don’t see the difference.

But people go grey at all ages. I don't think it matters.

Grey hair doesn't make you look old.

Old fashioned thinking makes you look old.

Some people go grey in their twenties. Some people have babies in their forties. It’s perfectly normal for a new mum to have grey hair. Your friend is being silly.

Also once you have baby you will probably be too busy to dye your hair!

This is all making me feel so much better! Thank you!

I hadn’t thought much about it until I told people I was going to stop dyeing my hair because I’m sick of it, and some friends also know I’d like to have another baby.

I am almost 40, so maybe that big milestone is making me pay more attention to negative opinions that I normally would!

The colour of your hair shouldn’t impact your ability to be a parent! If you’re happy with your hair…. Some people 😂

Haha 6 months pregnant greys are showing up hopefully I will find some mum friends who are not shallow and have better things to worry about than ourselves.

I think grey hair can look fantastic especially with a very good cut. If you wear bright or funky clothes you will look amazing.

People are weird about grey hair. I am 44 and have none. But I dye my hair as I like to dye it! No one believes I don't have any greys because I dye it. I get lots of incredulous comments when I say it as they assume I'm lying.

My point is it's just another ridiculous ideal that society has decided isn't "normal". And we can't win either way! If you keep dying your hair people will assume it's grey anyway! 🤷🏻‍♀️

Screw it do what you like!

I think the more people to ditch the dye, the more “normal” it will seem?!

Actually one reason I keep colouring my hair in my 40s is because I want DS(7) to remember me with brown hair, and have pictures of that. Several of my friends only remember their mother with grey hair, and they were uncomfortable with that as a child, rightly or wrongly.

So I don't think it's a foolish thing to consider, and I think it's worth considering that Mumsnet is very pro-grey. The truth is it suits some people, doesn't suit others, and will probably highlight that you are an older mother, if you care about that.

Do whatever you like OP. It's a simple as that. I am early 40s and probably 50% grey. I have had negative comments, fewer positive ones, but overall my hair grows very fast, I couldn't keep up with how often I needed to dye it, so I made this choice. I have needed to accept my hair, and the voiced opinions of others. We have to accept that culturally we live in an appearance focused world, where we as women are constantly encouraged to look a certain way, and be concerned about certain things, hair colour being one of them. Make the choice to break away from that if you want. But don't expect to receive all positive reaction. Especially not from chikdren!

I am 47 and can't bear the thought of going grey yet! I k ow many people say it on trend but I don't know many people in their forties with grey hair who don't have it dyed! Sure there is the odd one but I agree with others! If you do get a I'd cut so it looks funky!

I wouldn't think about it. But I have stopped dying my hair. I think so many people stopped during lockdown etc that there must be more "natural" hair on heads just now.

I’ve spent ages growing out my bleached hair (which I dyed grey) to my natural colour and am slightly gutted I’m still quite brown.

Loads of my colleagues went natural over the last 2 years. I don’t think grey hair is that odd anymore.

Im 46, I have 3 dc, age 13, 7 and 6 and am 80% grey. I stated transitioning to grey when my youngest was 2, my hair is long and layered and has never been in better condition, I've had more compliments on it now than I have ever had. My 6 year old says my hair sparkles like diamonds in the sunshine. People pay a lot of money for my colour hair, but I get it isn't for everyone, my twin sister included, she still does make the odd aging jibe at me. If you are on Facebook check out a page called going grey gracefully, there are some lovely before and after shots of ladies with brown hair. As previous posts have said it's how you wear your hair, I like the bright wide head bands.