Help/desperate my baby doesn't sleep

[Sunshinefutures]

Hello everyone, advice desperately needed.
My baby girl is 6
days old and breastfed.

Every 30 minute she's on me feeding so I literally get 0 sleep.
During the day its every 1 - 2 hours so I sleep then if I can which ends up being 50 minutes sleep stints scattered throughout the day.
Is there anything I can do to improve the stretches of sleep at night? This isn't sustainable. I wouldnt mind every 2-3 hours or even every 2 hours like the day time during the night. But I've literally not slept a wink other than day time naps since birth. I feel dreadful.
How long does this last?! Any advice?

I have two boys including a 4 month old. The first few weeks are tough but it does get better. I co-slept with my two from 3 weeks old so that really helped. I had a next to me cot so basically fed them lying on my side so I could sleep at the same time. Do speak to your health visitor and ask for services.

Congratulations.

Is nappy output ok?
Has your milk come in?
Has your baby been weighed since birth?

I’ve had two completely different experiences with BFing one was yah standard 50th centile lad and the other is a whopping 91st centile lad and honestly he didn’t ever get off me. He would be attached for hours every day. They are all so so different that this maybe normal for you/the baby.

Have you got any support at home?

Thank you for the replies!! Much appreciated as I sit here crying from exhaustion!!

Milk has come in and she has a dirty nappy every other hour so far!! My milk catchers are also full when I feed.

I won't lie, last night at around 6am I did lay on my side and feed her that way and fell asleep for a few minutes which I feel guilty about.

Yes I have a very hands on dp. He has basically taken over everything house related, cooking, cleaning, dog. He also does all nappy changes and winding.

All I have to do is feed her but that's all she wants to do so I get no break.

Have you tried a dummy?

I was adamant before I gave birth that my DC wasn't going to use one. He ended up in NICU and the nurses gave him one, they said a lot of the feeds were just him looking for sucking comfort not a feed.

He used one for 6 weeks and then gave it up himself.

awaits MN pile on *

Oh you poor thing - if milk is coming in fine and she has lots of nappies then she will be get plenty of milk. My DS basically used me as a dummy, and giving him a dummy made it much better.

Get DH to take her out for a walk in her pram for at least two hours while you sleep, feed her and then get her away again for a couple of hours.

Hopefully that may break the cycle.

I second this @70sDuvet and I was adamant from the start he wouldn't have one, it brought my sanity back, he still gained weight as normal and gave up the dummy a few weeks later himself.

Ah, I see I am a proud member of the mummies for dummies club! Honestly, it can be a really good thing.

Feeding lying down is great, make sure it’s a safe sleeping space and then relax in to it. It’s the only way I coped. My MW insisted on making sure I could feed lying down as a priority.
It will improve, the first 6 weeks were dreadfully hard for me. DD fee constantly and didn’t sleep, but it all clicked after that. You are doing great.
We did have to co-sleep for 9 months though, but we did at least sleep.

It will gradually get longer between feeds, this isn’t forever. But it is a hard slog for these first weeks. Dig deep! It is worth it as life once BF established is great, getting out is so much less faff.

Feeding lying down with baby in the bed is the easiest way to rest for many breastfeeding mothers. It's the only way I found that I could cope and I wish I had known that from day one. Don't feel guilty about it (instead I think you should feel angry at the messages that mothers should feel guilty- it's safe if you follow guidelines)

Also the first few weeks are super intense- it will get better. Baby was probably having a growth spurt last night and will naturally sleep (at least a little) more until the next growth spurt. My baby had a growth spurt at 7 days and it was very hard to cope with- but the next night was better.
I found everything clicked around 6 weeks too.

Going outside for a 15 minute walk without baby helped me too. And having a bath by myself.

I didn't find people taking baby so I could have a nap helpful at the early newborn stage because I wasn't able to sleep without him - although worth trying if it works for you.

It's great you have a supportive partner - make the most of that and just rest.

That sounds normal - there are a lot of growth spurts in the early weeks. I found things got better after the first 6 weeks. I also foound that wearing my baby during the day meant they tended to nap more so I could at least get a few things done. These are the very hardest days and you sound like you're doing incredibly well. ALso don't rule out a dummy if it gives you a little sleep time - mine just refused them, but all babies are different.

Honestly it will get easier. She’s only 6 days old, your milk may have only fully come in within the last 2 days so now she is upping your supply. Plus her stomach is currently as big as an apricot so needs topping up a lot.

Feeding on your side is fine, research safe sleeping in the lullaby trust site and have your partner take the baby out in the pushchair straight after a feed during the day so you can sleep.

Also Google the fourth trimester
www.babycentre.co.uk/a25019365/your-baby-and-the-fourth-trimester

Thank you all so much for your advice.

Tonight I am going to make a safe sleep space in the bed and see how it goes. Anything must be better than this.

I know she's only 6 days old and I knew I would be sleep deprived. But I had no idea I literally would not have sleep.. at all!

It's made me an emotional mess and I keep crying but it's purely exhaustion as everything is great other than the damn sleep!

Congratulations! Not much to add but just wanted to say things will feel so much better once you’ve had some kip. I learnt to feed lying down and felt amazing for it – don’t be afraid to contact your HV or midwife for advice on this. I had a really supportive one (I remember sitting in bed one night sobbing as baby would only sleep on me feeding!). It gets better, I promise!

@Sunshinefutures

Thank you all so much for your advice.

Tonight I am going to make a safe sleep space in the bed and see how it goes. Anything must be better than this.

I know she's only 6 days old and I knew I would be sleep deprived. But I had no idea I literally would not have sleep.. at all!

It's made me an emotional mess and I keep crying but it's purely exhaustion as everything is great other than the damn sleep!

Also don’t forget you’ve JUST given birth. That is no day off and your body plus hormones have been through a lot. Don’t put pressure on yourself to be your pre pregnancy self or even your pregnant self. These early days are hard. They do get better

Breastfeeding and bedsharing often go hand in hand. Look up the "save sleep seven" by La Leche League. Safe bedsharing saved my sleep and my sanity. Not for everyone, but it worked for us.

My baby is also 6 days old (bday twins!) and we're doing combination feeding. If I am awake I breastfeed him, but every morning at 5am my DH takes the baby so I can sleep for 3-5 hours and during that time he gives the baby formula if he needs it.

This is my second child and I learnt the hard way that EBF takes too much of a toll on me sleep-wise.

I plan to drop the formula once DS is able to sleep for longer stretches. I've got a breast pump too so will start using that soon.

As soon as I read your title I knew you're going to say breast fed. Give your baby a bottle of formula at night. You won't be able to sustain it no.

Sounds normal with a brand new baby. It's hard but it will get easier very soon. Hang in there!

My DD cluster fed like this too and would only sleep on me the first few weeks. It was rough but didn't last long, hang in there. She was sleeping 6 hour stretches in her crib at 6 weeks.

I never felt comfortable co sleeping so I used to fall asleep feeding/holding her while DH would stay up watching to make sure she didn't slip off me or go under the duvet, if that's an option for you for part of the night?

@collieresponder88

As soon as I read your title I knew you're going to say breast fed. Give your baby a bottle of formula at night. You won't be able to sustain it no.

What a load of crap. Why would you post that?

Firstly, OP hasn’t indicated she wants to introduce formula, secondly, how is giving a bottle in the night any easier than Bf? It’s much harder work to get up, prep a bottle and sit up and feed it to the baby than roll over, pop a boob in and snooze again.

And thirdly, most importantly, why undermine her confidence at such an early stage?

OP, yes you can totally sustain EBF (if you want to), it’s tricky in the early days but life is it’s a new born is no matter how you feed them.

You’ve got this 💪

Mimi sunshine. She hasn't got it though has she the poor woman hasn't slept for six days ! How is she going to carry on like that I'm being practical Formula at night will settle the baby long enough for her to get a chunk of sleep. No one said give up breast feeding. You can carry on telling her to hang on in there blah blah but my replies is the best solution to her problem that's why I would post that

And by the way what you wrote is a load of crap

@collieresponder88

As soon as I read your title I knew you're going to say breast fed. Give your baby a bottle of formula at night. You won't be able to sustain it no.

Irresponsible nonsense. Lots of people bf exclusively, including at night. I did. My DDs never had formula. There's nothing to suggest OP has supply issues, much more likely to be normal 4th trimester behaviour.

Pointythings The op asked if there was anything she could do to get a longer stretch of sleep at night. I told her the answer ! You can keep banging ion about milk supply etc but a bottle of formula at night would make the baby sleep for longer without question. I really don't see how that is irresponsible advice when it's correct. I think it's irresponsible to keep telling the exhausted op to carry on regardless when she's not slept a wink for days on end