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Parent moving in.

3 replies

LongDuckDong · 14/03/2022 22:11

Has anyone had this and can give hints and tips on how to make it work?

What do they contribute
Who does the shopping
Who is responsible for what

Etc etc etc

OP posts:
Kite22 · 14/03/2022 22:48

Surely that is going to depend on why they are moving in....age...health....needs of both people....finances of both people ....etc etc....?

I would have though many parents who move in with adult dc, do so because they are not able to manage to live on their own, so that would be very different from a fit and healthy, working 45yr old who had decided to split living costs with their adult dc.

toomuchlaundry · 14/03/2022 22:50

Why are they moving in?

ChoiceMummy · 15/03/2022 08:53

I think that as others have said, it depends on why and their personal circumstances.

I think that if effectively healthy and able bodied, then they need to be able to continue to live their life and you also yours. I'd probably have a large family calendar, with every with a column and same for meal planner. Have an agreement who cooks when if sharing the cooking. One of the things I've noticed with family we care for, is they have often lose some of their autonomy over little things like what they eat as often they will go along with what's offered rather than say I really fancy xyz. So I'd keep that in mind.

If she's going to primarily be at home, I'd try not to expect she does all household activities, but equally she needs to take some responsibility.

Don't fall into you say doing her laundry etc when she first moved if you don't wish to set a precedent.

Will she have and you have your own reception areas so that if you just want to sit down and not talk to anyone and watch crap TV, you can.

A little bit more background and I'm sure that you'll get some more suggestions.

Finances will be dependent on whether she's contributing to the house/mortgage/deposit and has an interest in it.

I would perhaps set an amount for utilities etc, and then review after 3 months. Or take the attitude of these are the bills divided by 3. But if children are in the house that complicates things and I wouldn't want for her to feel taken advantage of. Unless of course she an annexe with separate meters etc. I'd also take into account if she'd previously be receiving housing benefit that her level of income will be substantially reduced and she's unlikely to receive without a whole palava in your house.
You may also be able to benefit though from her pension credit if she receives, if she's named on utility bills and likewise council tax reduction, but if you have an oh, not. Though you would get a discount if you're converting a room specifically to meet her disability needs.

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