Give me your best excuses to get off the phone from relatives that don't stop talking.

[JamFrogEgg]

I have two relatives that I find hard to get off the phone from. Saying there's someone at the door or I have an appointment feels so fake. Please give me your best excuses so I can have them at the ready.

Start snoring loudly.

I start by saying DH has just popped out to pick up a takeaway.

Then when I want to go, I say DH has just turned up with the takeaway.

This backfired when I was talking about putting on weight and DRelative said 'well, you do eat a lot of takeaways to be fair.'

I find saying ‘right I’ve monopolised you long enough, I’d better let you go’ or a variation of that works a treat. Worst case scenario they’ll say they’re not busy, but you just keep saying ‘I know, but I mustn’t keep you’ or ‘I don’t want to stop you getting on with your day’.

Polite and it works.

I quietly open the front door and press the door bell. This also sets the dog off barking so it sounds quite authentic 😂

This backfired when I was talking about putting on weight and DRelative said 'well, you do eat a lot of takeaways to be fair

Have you a toddler you can pass the phone to? Used to do this with dm...

Here in Ireland we say "I'll let you go" so it sounds like you feel you've been keeping them on the phone too long but everyone knows what it really means.

I need to go now:

Toilet
Child needs help with homework, toilet, whatever depends on age
Got something needing to come out of oven

Always begin the conversation with your get out clause. Hi Aunty chatterbox, lovely to hear from you but I can't speak long, I've got a meeting at 9:15/ need to leave for yoga at 10/ have to got pick up the kids at 3:20 etc ...

@Junipercrumble

I have been known to just hang up mid sentence and claim my phone ran out of charge or be confused as to what happened and did their phone run out of charge?

Love this one

@MangoBiscuit

"Oh fuck, the cat's just thrown up on the rug."

Helps to have a cat.

This one's perfect, thank you

There’s always the ‘oh shit!!!! I’ve gotta go - call you later’.

Of course you can’t use it more than once.

These are silly because they'll only work once.

I literally say "Ok, Ive got to go now". Unfortunately they will usually keep talking but you can usually get off the phone within five minutes of using this

My poor mum used to talk and talk. Often I’d pit the phone down, go and make a cup of tea and coke back and she’d still be on the same topic.

Of course I miss her like crazy now. But she did drive me daft sometimes!

I say 'got to go now' to dSis, she generally launches desperately onto another topic so I just interrupt and say "no, I've really got to go, bye"

Sometimes I say "well , mustn't keep you" but then she's likely to get impatient and say "yes I really have to go" a bit crossly- so while it's effective, it tends to end up annoying me somewhat

@Sparklingbrook

Reach outside the front door and ring the doorbell.

Thank you!

Although now I realise my bloody mother would phone back later to be nosy about who was at the door 🤦🏻‍♀️ would work on others though!

I put them on speaker and carry on with my day. Just 'mmm' and 'really' every now and then to show I'm listening. My dc probably do this to me!

I'm another one who just hangs up mid sentence and claims my phone died works a treat though.

'soz, gotta go..got the runs and I'm not taking you in there with me'

I struggle with one person who never asks if it is a convenient time. I always pick up the phone to them for various reasons and sometimes if I say that it’s not a good time they get very huffy and offended. Other times they are fine though.

It can be quite upsetting if I’m running around like a blue arsed fly and someone calls you up just to go in the huff because you can’t talk.

Oh Lordy yes I have a relative like this. I can't answer the phone to them most of the time, they always ring in the evening as they know it's DC bedtime otherwise (trying to be considerate) but I just don't have the energy at 8pm to talk for an hour, about shit I already know from the previous phonecall or that Edna from two doors down has got gout again or cousin David has has d&v.
I tend to call back the next day and start with "i can't be long I'm off to collect the DC soon" or when I'm running their bath/dinners nearly ready.

PLUS it's not even on my side on the family it's DHs. So I just get him to answer, or text him and tell him to call X as they're ringing me and I don't know why. Nowt to do with me!

I can't bear it when people say (not to me!) right well I'll let you go now. It's just so passive and also just not genuine.

Much better to say, right I have to go now. And as others have said, follow through - ie hang up.

Baby has just done a poo.

Food is burning/bubbling over.

Someone's just knocked at the door (which is strangely true a lot of the time for me, when ever I start to ring someone in the last week or so I then have a visitor!)

Or there’s the ‘over an hour and you pay for the call’ one, if you’re on that type of deal. Say you’ll ring back again, and then don’t because someone else called.