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Original poster

How much does your part-time partner/spouse contribute?

41 replies

EatSleepRantRepeat · 13/03/2022 14:56

DH is considering stepping down to part-time hours, after a long service in a long-hours, stressful career (he's a few years older than me). I've been the main earner for a while, but thankfully we've controlled our outgoings enough to pay for everything 50/50 when we were both working full time. He's now only earning 30% of my salary but has two more days off a week.

I'm not sure how we should split the finances now that he's earning significantly less than me, how much extra I should be willing to put into the family pot, or how we should split any chores at home now he has a 4 day weekend. I've never been in this situation before and I want to ensure it's fair.

What do other people do, percentage-wise? And do you give your spouses/ your spouses give you any "fun money", memberships etc as a top-up? Do you sacrifice any of your disposable income or expect your spouse/partner to make it up from their savings/cutbacks?

(Please no comments about cocklodgers - DH is amazing and even helped me pay off my student debt when the earning levels were reversed, plus we have done our budgeting and can afford to do this. Its for his health.).

OP posts:

Original poster

EatSleepRantRepeat · 13/03/2022 14:57

(Sorry my tenses are slightly wrong in my first para - he's already starting the job tomorrow)

OP posts:

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 13/03/2022 14:59

Both our salary goes into one account and everything comes out of that account.

newstart1234 · 13/03/2022 15:07

Me and dh have shared finances. Both get paid into going accounts and we have always agreed on outgoing, maybe we are just lucky in this way.

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General money

newstart1234 · 13/03/2022 15:07

*joint accounts

saraclara · 13/03/2022 15:14

When I was part time, both our salaries went into one account and our expenses came out of that account.
I did most of the housework in the week, but we both did the weekend clean. I did the big shop.
When my DH had to take ill health retirement and I was working full time, we did the same. He was cook pretty much full time, as well as taking on most of the admin stuff. I was able to come home from work and not do a thing. I really appreciated that.

RandomMess · 13/03/2022 15:17

We only have ever had a family pot but we both have similar careful attitudes to money and no expensive hobbies.

Flexitarian · 13/03/2022 15:21

When I was part time, we did it as a percentage. I think it worked out about 40% of our combined income to pay for everything so we each put 40% of our individual income into the joint account and kept the rest in our own accounts. We weren’t married, if that makes a difference.

Flexitarian · 13/03/2022 15:23

Oh, and I did the lions share of housework and childcare, but my partner did kid stuff every night and bits of housework at the weekends.

Foreverlexicon · 13/03/2022 15:25

Not entirely the same but i earn about 75% of what my partner earns so that’s how we split it.
I struggle with full time hours as I have poor
mental health and I would dearly love to work at around 80%. At the moment that’s not affordable for us but if it ever was, my partner has already said she would support me wholeheartedly and that includes financially. I would intend/expect to do more
chores though to make her life easier as well.

1TheCircle · 13/03/2022 15:26

All wages goes into joint account for bills (he earns twice what I do)

We both then have same amount standing order into our own savings accounts for whatever we want. But any normal spending (clothes, shoes, days/nights out, stuff for house and hobbies etc) comes out of joint account.

If it’s really expensive both of us would use our savings. As we both respect the joint account and aren’t dicks.

bobsholi · 13/03/2022 15:27

I'm part time and DH is full time. Our salaries get paid into one account, all the bills go out and then we split what is left between us. I do all the school drop offs and pick ups, homework, bedtimes and bathtimes, make all the meals, do 90% of the housework and pet care.

Wonderwoman333 · 13/03/2022 15:33

I work 2 days, dh works full time and earns 6x my wage. All our money goes into a joint account and all bills and disposable income is shared. We are a partnership so don't mess about with percentages etc. I don't understand how that would work especially where kids are involved.

ifonly4 · 13/03/2022 15:39

DH has always earnt a lot more money, but I had more money behind me when we met. When we moved in together, he suggested we put everything into the same account, but have a DD out to each of us for the same amount, ie we have the same amount of personal spending for whatever we choose. I gave up work when we had DCs and am only part-time some years later. DH is still more than happy with the above, as we work as a team, never have any financial arguments and he knows I'm careful with food and household spending. The plus point for him is that I have time to do 98% of the housework, all food shopping, 95% of the cooking (he actually likes doing it himself sometimes), some household maintenance and 60% of the gardening (there are things he chooses to do that I'm not fussed about) - it means he has more time to spend with me or actually just relax.

Original poster

EatSleepRantRepeat · 13/03/2022 16:16

There's a really interesting trend here of everything going into a joint account and then some DDs back out again - I never thought of that as an option but sounds doable. We do have a monthly bills account we both pay into but otherwise I'm used to not having to explain or justify any personal expenditure/income to anyone. I guess I never realised how private we are about money compared to some couples, but it's an option I can discuss with him after work tonight.

OP posts:

Original poster

EatSleepRantRepeat · 13/03/2022 16:20

@Foreverlexicon

Not entirely the same but i earn about 75% of what my partner earns so that’s how we split it. I struggle with full time hours as I have poor mental health and I would dearly love to work at around 80%. At the moment that’s not affordable for us but if it ever was, my partner has already said she would support me wholeheartedly and that includes financially. I would intend/expect to do more chores though to make her life easier as well.

Thanks to everyone who mentioned the housework split as well, I don't know anyone in this situation IRL and a lot of my family have traditional ideas about which sex should be going out to work, so we don't discuss this stuff with them at all.

OP posts:

RandomUsernameHere · 13/03/2022 16:28

I work part-time, DH works full-time and earns about 6x what I do. I do all the housework and most of the childcare (DH works long hours and often travels). All finances are shared, salaries go into a joint account and we spend what we like from it. We both trust each other to be sensible and generally discuss big outgoings beforehand.

Moody123 · 13/03/2022 16:48

Both salaries go into one account , we withdraw the same amount monthly into independent savings the rest is left to spend... when we run out, we run out

Autumn42 · 13/03/2022 16:56

We just have everything go into one account then take same set sum as our personal monthly allowance. I work part time but caring for children on most of my days off and do most of the housework etc so absolutely feel doing my bit. Looking forward to having more free time when youngest starts school. Would expect your hubby to perhaps help a bit more around the house if he’s got more free time? Could you not drop down to part time too?

Blossom64265 · 13/03/2022 17:02

I’m the part-time earner in our household. I earn a higher full-time equivalent salary, but with my reduced hours being in less. We have always just merged our money and had equal disposable income. I work part-time for the benefit of the entire household. My husband would never expect me to be penalized because of that.

QuietKingdom · 13/03/2022 17:07

I'm part-time, DH full time, everything goes into a joint account the bills come out of and we both get an equal amount pocket money/savings that comes out into our own accounts. I earn slightly more than he does despite being part-time, I also do all the childcare, school runs, all the mental load and the majority of the housework although he will do things if I ask him to.

robocracker · 13/03/2022 19:04

I earn between 1/4 to half that of DH (it varies as I can choose to do overtime and have less days off) I'm contracted for 2 days a week, usually work 3-4.

We have a joint account and all our money goes into that. We siphon off extra into our joint saving account when we can. If we need something for house/family/ kids and it's in budget we just get it but if it's for ourselves individually we discuss it first.

I do the big shop and the majority of the washing (3 kids so never ending!) and keep the kitchen clean. We share out everything else (including kids) the chores he has are things that would take 20-30 mins if an evening in the week and longer at the weekends e.g. clean bathroom.

Sometimes he has to do more in the house as I have a chronic pain condition and I often sleep on my days off!

LadyOfMisrule · 13/03/2022 20:21

All wages into a joint account. All money is shared. I can’t be doing with arguing about who gets which pot of cash; that wouldn’t work for us.

tobypercy · 13/03/2022 20:43

The mumsnet standard is a joint account. That wouldn't work for us because DH spends until there is nothing left. To be fair he then stops but it would drive me mad.

As one or two other PPs, we contribute to household bills pro rata for our pay. Anything left is our own. That means I don't get annoyed when he spends all his money on and I spend all mine on .

We've always worked similar hours although our pay is different, so the split of housework being related to hours worked has never been an issue. If he's cutting hours for his health I'd probably start from what he feels he is able to do - but I would expect him to be picking up more than he does now.

Oblomov22 · 13/03/2022 21:06

We've only ever had one joint account. I worked part time for 18 years, 3 days school hours. I'm now working 2 jobs - 6 days, but this won't be forever, because my health can't cope. I don't intend to ever work anything other than part time. We spend what we want. Never been a problem.
I don't understand why this is a problem for you really.

worriedatthistime · 13/03/2022 21:14

Wages into one account , the person with less hours does more at home ( heath allowing)

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