5 year age gap?

[Goldbar]

I'm sure this has been done before but I'd be interested to hear about your experiences of a 5 year age gap (good and bad) between DC1 and DC2.

We've been trying for DC2 for over 2 years now (DC1 is 4) and this current pregnancy has finally 'stuck' longer than previous ones so I'm beginning to allow myself to get a little bit excited and to think it might actually happen. Obviously, our preference would have been for a much smaller age gap (2.5-3 years was what we were aiming for), but it didn't work out for us and DC1 will be almost 5 when DC2 arrives (if all goes according to plan).

I'm wondering how the age gap might pan out. Obviously, they probably won't be close playmates but we've begun very gently to prepare DC1 for potentially having a sibling and DC1 seems excited about the prospect of having a little sidekick to boss around.

This thread has healed my heart slightly. DS2 was due with a 4yr4m age gap but died. DD should have been a 5y5m age gap but also died. I've been kicking myself thinking that trying again is selfish with too big of an age gap now. I feel gladdened that there are so many lovely sibling relationships with bigger gaps.

@nocheesegromit. I'm so sorry to hear of your losses . It is so tough and heartbreaking sometimes and difficult to know what the right choice is and whether to keep trying.

I think what DH and I decided was that we wanted another baby primarily for us, not as a sibling for DC. So we decided to keep trying even if there would be a larger age gap. If they do have a close relationship growing up, that will be a lovely bonus and of course we hope they will be there for each other in adulthood although there is no way to predict these things.

5 year age gap here - there's been ups and downs all the way, but generally they've got on well. It's always felt like they've hit tricky ages at the same time

They are currently 13 and 18, so the youngest is at that annoying hormonal point and his older brother has hit adulthood and has no tolerance . He has a short memory as he was like his little brother not that long ago! DS2 idolises his brother though

There is 5 1/2 years between my dd (12) and ds (6). They adore each other! Yes they aren't always doing the same thing or together, but in some ways that's good to be more individual.

When he was young my dds friends all seemed to only have a 2 year age gap, so the kids would all be off playing together when meeting up, and the parents all able to chill a bit apart from me with a baby/ toddler attached to me, but I also never had that 'help the kids have both run off in different directions and there is only one of me' situation most of the other parents I knew did - dd was pretty sensible by the time ds was mobile. We got one to one time with him when she was in school, which was nice.

They play together quite a bit - I think dd secretly likes the chance to do pretend play, watch Hey Duggee etc under the guise of humouring her brother,when she's enjoying it herself really! She does tire of him and want her own space, whereas he would spend every minute with his big sister if he could, so that can be a point of conflict. It's surprising how much of the same interests and activities they can have now though actually - they both had Harry Potter lego for Christmas this year!

I'm sorry so many of you have suffered losses. In our case the big gap was deliberate as I'd found the newborn stage so hard with dd I could only imagine doing it again with a big gap. I don't regret that decision at all.

@nocheesegromit

This thread has healed my heart slightly. DS2 was due with a 4yr4m age gap but died. DD should have been a 5y5m age gap but also died. I've been kicking myself thinking that trying again is selfish with too big of an age gap now. I feel gladdened that there are so many lovely sibling relationships with bigger gaps.

@nocheesegromit for the loss of your babies.

It is not selfish. I have a double figure age gap with my siblings, I have a friend who has a double figure age gap between her eldest and youngest and they are the best of pals.

Love is not limited to those close to us in age.

5 year age gaps? My DD will be 5 in September when baby is due. I’m worried how my daughter is going to feel when baby is here and if she will feel pushed out it scares me so much.