Ok kids fighting in the car

[RosieLeaLovesTea]

Hey

Two DCs girl 7 yrs and boy 5 yrs. it’s awful when they start fighting in the back of the car. On the way to swimming lessons this morning. We were running late so it was difficult to stop the car.

How do you handle it?

It’s bad because the younger one has no fear or boundaries so he is being too rough. The older one often ends up crying.

Am I going to have to separate and have one sitting in the front? I didn’t want to start that until they were a bit older.

Are in in secure car seats ? If so , there should be a space between them at least .
Personally I wouldn't put a young child in the front seat for their own safety .

I do know that mine were being little sods when I was driving a long distance with them ( they were about 4yo /6.6 yo )

When something flew over my shoulder and hit my windscreen and neither would admit to which one , I called it quits , pulled off the motorway and carried out my threat - threw their toys in the bin.

They are adults now and rember this .
I will tolerate many things but my safety driving and the safety of other road users - non negiotatable .

When you have some free time get in the car and say you are going shopping, tell them the behavior you expect. If they start to fight pull over and go into the nearest corner shop and buy yourself an ice cream. Sit and eat it where they can easily see you. They will be shocked. When you get back in the car and they ask why they didn't get one tell them because they didn't listen. The end. Actions speak louder than words.

I pull over and threaten to make my son walk home when he’s being a terror in the back seat. Get out of the car and open his door and he cries and says he’ll be good. It works. But I’ve only done it a few times, I’m sure it won’t work when he knows I wouldn’t follow through with the threat

My car had an ejector seat button (hazard light button - nice and dangerous-looking) for many years. My finger would only have to hover over it for them to instantly keep their hands to themselves and hiss at eachother to behave. I was very sad when they got old enough to realise it wasn't true but it still worked when they were your kids' ages.

• tell them the rules before they get in the car and tell them what the consequences will be for not following the rules
• give them a game to play. We had some good car journeys books where they got points for spotting things. They worked as a team.
• karaoke

I’ve sometimes gone completely crazy and screamed ‘shhhuuuttttuuupppp!!! I’m trying to drive!’ With some swearing thrown in harsh but it’s worked.

I seperate mine although I have the benefit of a 7 seater. I threaten to put the least annoying child in the back (1. More novelty value 2. He's less likely to whop his brother). Generally they both calm down because neither wants his brother to get the prized seat

I like having a row of seats each!

But in the absence of that, I'd go for least annoying in the front.

I had three boys, men now😀...... Bought a car that would completely separate them and elbows couldn't reach each other after suffering holidays in a normal car with three in the back. 7 seater minibus with separate captains chairs in the middle aisle and three seater bench seat at the back🚌 still driving it over 20 years later so got my monies worth!

I pull over and refuse to drive until they stop.

@RishiRich

My car had an ejector seat button (hazard light button - nice and dangerous-looking) for many years. My finger would only have to hover over it for them to instantly keep their hands to themselves and hiss at eachother to behave. I was very sad when they got old enough to realise it wasn't true but it still worked when they were your kids' ages.

Did this as well, it worked with dts.

We were in a car crash because the two children in the rear seat were fighting and the driver turned around to try and get them behaving. The accident wasn't too serious luckily.

Since then the parent has got very serious about giving consequences. The children know it is not okay to pinch, punch, slap and bite each other and that they will get punished/face consequences for it. I thought they were too gentle in their approach previously but now I think they are too hard.

@RishiRich

My car had an ejector seat button (hazard light button - nice and dangerous-looking) for many years. My finger would only have to hover over it for them to instantly keep their hands to themselves and hiss at eachother to behave. I was very sad when they got old enough to realise it wasn't true but it still worked when they were your kids' ages.

Yep I've used this one for years when my two eldest were younger.