What would you say if someone asks you to buy them a drink?

[signetpie]

I went to the pub last night with my two good friends. The one friend brought her relatively new boyfriend, who I get along with. The friend with the boyfriend, had to leave.

So there remained, my friend, and no longer there friend's bf.

They wanted to get another round. I said, no I better not, I want to go back to do some housework. They said oh go onnnn. So I said, fine I'll go get a lemonade for myself.

My good friend said "oh could you grab me a pint (beer)". We buy each other drinks in rounds usually, so I know I'll get a drink back at some point to make it fair. I'd have preferred not to but said ok.

Then friend's bf pipes up "oh could you get me one too please ". Now obviously I wasn't going to say no if I was already getting someone else one. But it was just awkward. I'd rather have not spent a fiver on a pint for him. It went from spending two quid on a drink for myself, to spending 12£. I'm not hugely tight on money, but I am cutting back on spending like everyone else.

How else do people deal with awkward requests like this? I am too shy to say no.

I think I'd have said, you know what, I've changed my mind, I really had best be going.

And left.

Yes a cf but if you were a budget for the night , I'd give him a look and say I'm sorry but unlikely to see you much so I'd rather not.

I'm not sure I understand
Your friend left but her new boyfriend stayed? Why wasn't the friend who suggesed the extra round paying?

I don't think it was too cheeky asking while you were going to the bar anyway, but it would put it on my radar to make sure he's not a serial round dodger!

In those circumstances, I’d buy it and say ‘You owe me £X’…? Though I suppose the snag is that lots of people don’t carry cash now…

@Comefromaway

I think I'd have said, you know what, I've changed my mind, I really had best be going.

And left.

Same. Unless you were a round down, they were being cheeky. Buy them happily or don’t, don’t do it and resent it.

And if they made a comment about you leaving to get out of buying I’d say ‘well I wanted to leave but you nagged me to stay and then ordered drinks!’ In a fairly ratty way.

I can't imagine being in a pub with just 2 other people, going to the bar and not asking what they wanted.

However, if I'd been "persuaded" to stay, I'd probably let them go to the bar, unless it was my round.

Was it your round?

They asked you to stay and you said ok and you were going to the bar so I'd have thought you'd offer everyone a drink.

He was cheeky to ask though.

I think they were really cheeky in this instance, to persuade you to stay and then ask you to buy them drinks when you were only going to get a lemonade and then go.

I don’t think I’d ever go to the pub and not offer someone else a drink, that’s a bit odd to me tbh

However if you were uncomfortable about it I’d have said “really sorry but I won’t be staying beyond these drinks so prefer not to get in to rounds, can we do our own this time?”

Was it actually your turn to get a round in? We have someone in our group with short arms and deep pockets who always disappears at the vital moment.

No we didn't do rounds. In fact, the bf had a drink bought for him by the other friend too. So he went to the pub for free that evening

I hate the whole concept of 'rounds'. Everyone should just get and pay for their own drinks as and when they want one.

@signetpie

No we didn't do rounds. In fact, the bf had a drink bought for him by the other friend too. So he went to the pub for free that evening

Oh! Massive CF then. Plonk bum down, say ‘oh if you’re getting proper drinks I’ll just have a lime and soda’.

"Your round then!"

I would have told the freeloader to fuck off, I think.

If you were going to the bar to get yourself a drink I’d expect you to offer to buy a round, to be fair.
You should have gone home !

Is there a polite way to say no if my friend asks me to buy them something?

My friend recently lost their job and has been asking me to buy them things every time we spend any time together. I would not mind if it was things he needed, but it's extravagant TREATS, band merch, gig tickets, and the final straw- a 13$ cocktail. The last time he did it he asked in front of our entire friend/family group, I was really put on the spot and didn't think I could say no.

How do I start saying no to this person?

I was talking to my DS about this the other day. On his bank statement was lots of £4 an £5 debit charges in pubs etc., and I asked him why he and his friends weren't buying rounds, and he said they all get their own these days and "rounds" are old-fashioned. So that was me told! Perhaps it's a Uni/student thing now that drinks are so expensive and students have no money.

You are probably best to start your own thread.

In answer to your question though you say that this person is a 'friend' but he isn't acting like one. You simply start saying no. Is that simple. Don't pretend you are skint just say no. He keeps asking because you are a pushover. If you say nothing he will carry on and on and on. It's up to you.

Oh sorry I thought this was a new post. Thank you for your answer though!

In all social groups I’ve been in, we have always bought rounds, or we do a kitty, I have never experienced a situation where everyone in our group gets up goes to the bar separately or all stand in a line ordering their own drinks , not since we were students.

i find it quite an odd dynamic from an adult who says they can afford it, and the transactional way you view your good friend, ie you said you only bought her a drink as you knew you’d get one back at some point. I’d happily buy a friend a drink and not be thinking if I’d get it back.

id also not go to the bar unless I was going to offer a round.

I guess just different friend ship types.

I think your other friend was being cheeky as well. Asked you to stay but got you to buy