Weight gain after kids

[Fistikfistik]

So I have just turned 30. Have 4 kids. Wldest is 9 youngest is 3. I am a size 16. Was a 12/14 prior to kids and want to get back to that but I can't keep it up. I managed to lose 1.5 stone in locldown by doing some workout videos daily abd watching my intake but because we where home I had the time. Once lockdown was over and life resumed to normal it wasn't sustainable as 4 kids and different activities, work and school collections I couldn't fit it in. So I went down to a 14 but now back to a 16.

I am about 13 stone. However I still breastfeed the youngest. Hoping to stop soon and I have quite large boobs. So I hold some weight there. And my hips are wider. But I don't think I look terrible. But I feel heavy.

Is this terribly big? I am 5 ft 6. Just about 13 stone. I'm hoping to lose some after breastfeeding ends. I am an hour glass shape. Can any one recommend a form of exercise that helps? I was doing steel City workouts and walk with Leslie and it hoped but I need to tone too. Any recommendations for little time in the day?

@sartessoul. You are right! I do make excuses and I know I can lose it as I lost some before but it was very hard work. Or maybe u was making it hard work? Dh has decided he needs to lose weight.... he does to be fair and has pointed out I do too except he mentions it a bit too much. He's started walking to work and back but his diet is awful. But I don't pick at him. I just need some consistency and sleep so I have energy to move! 🤣 the plan was to do it together but it's not possible really. So doing our own thing.

Don’t you eat together at all? Planning and cooking healthy meals together would be a great way for you both to lose weight.

We don't eat at the same time due to work times. But he eats what I cook. But he also eats at work so I don't know what he's eating. We own a restaurant. I work from home doing admin etc

Thank you. Yes calories are accurate and I check it against packets etc. I think the lack of sleep and movement is the problem and not a regular consumption of food. As I said one day I eat breakfast lunch and dinner and then another day I may not have breakfast or lunch etc.

Even if you did literally nothing in the way of moving, you would be still be burning around 1800 calories a day with the weight you carry and the breastfeeding.

Are you losing absolutely nothing? Or is it just slow? At 1200 calories you should be losing 0.5-1lb a week just sitting on the sofa all day!

It is very slow. Very very slow

Are you counting everything?
Milk/sugar in tea, cooking oils, are you weighing items?

For example you say you have peanut butter with breakfast, that’s great it’s tasty and healthy, but very high calorie. If you are just generically putting in a “tablespoon” you could easily be havihh by 2/3 times that. Things Like that can add up quickly and suddenly you’re in a 100 a day surplus and not realising

I think the main thing that stands out is you work from home ...so probably not getting enough basic exercise. 4 kids keeps you very busy but not fit. I had 4 (aged 5 and under.!) and I snatched food when I could and was definitely guilty of finishing off their snacks and lunches if they were not eaten up.
Can you do the school runs on foot? That would help with burning off a few calories without it being an extra exercise added to the day. At 3 your breastfeeding isn't going to be burning up calories like it does when they are babies so it probably doesn't make much difference.

Probably not much help but I'm your height and was a bit chunky when mine were small, but now they are grown I am the size and weight I was before I got married, so it doesn't have to stick forever. I don't exercise as such but I did get a dog the 'forced walks regardless of the weather' is what now keeps me slim!

Thanks all. No I don't weigh anything so yes that is going to be a factor. We walk to school. I very rarely drive because I hate it. But school is only 5 minute walk away. I'm going to start walking more when you gest is in nursery.

So you do the cooking but your husband eats at work but you sometimes skip dinner? So what are you feeding the kids? Surely they eat every night? It doesn't add up. Apparently you eat breakfast then maybe a salad then maybe dinner. You would be tiny. Yet you know you could lose the weight if you wanted to. How? Skipping breakfast and living on air?

I think you need to be honest with yourself how much you eat

Or else you're a medical mystery;or maybe it's water retention? Do your legs puff up? A friend of mine had this water weight issue, I know it exists)

Have you ever watched secret eaters on the telly?

Everyone, everyone at all, underestimates what they eat (oh... I never even have dinner, then eats kids leftovers followed by a takeaway, the leftovers don't count as it's just a tiny bit and the takeaway does not count as it's Friday )

Yes I cooknevery evening. My husband is at work from lunch to the evening so he will eat lunch there. And then he will eat when he comes home. If he doesn't eat it then I freeze it. Kids eat the same food I cook. I don't always eat I as I tend to be out off when cooking and then I don't want to eat it. I don't snack really, no. I don't eat secretly. I wish I was tiny! Maybe I have underestimated the portions I do eat, when I eat?

And no, no takeaways. Can't really afford them at the moment! And we don't live local to our business so I and the kids don't eat from there

I read this You may think that eating less than recommended portions can help accelerate your weight loss, but doing this actually causes your body to conserve energy by reducing the number of calories you burn. This phenomenon is called “starvation mode,” and while your body isn’t actually starving, it will naturally hold onto whatever calories it receives in an effort to help you maintain your energy balance

Not sure if that has a bit of a contribution. And then when I do eat underestimate the portion size? And obviously not enough exercise.

Starvation mode is largely bollocks. If it were true, why are anorexics so thin?

What really happens is that low calories cause you to become lazy in order to try and conserve energy. So instead of having the energy to do exercise, you can't be arsed to get off the couch. It usually happens when you're already quite small. Your body won't be worried at all about conservation of energy if you weigh 13st. You still burn calories though. And probably more than 1200 a day so you should still be losing even if this was the case.

I guarantee that if you weigh and measure everything you're eating accurately, your average over the week is much more like 2200 calories a day if you're losing but very slowly. Try it, it's really eye opening!

Ok thanks

If you cut back 150 calories a day you should in theory lose a stone in a year. That's a slice of bread with butter. So if you have an extra stone or two that's not a lot extra you are eating a day to maintain that.
Exercise makes you fitter but it's what you eat that wins the battle of the bulge. You are simply eating more than you think.
Plan your meals ahead and aim to eat your ideal weight (in pounds) times 10. So if you wanted to weigh 140lbs (10 stone) you eat 1400 a day. Once at your ideal weight you eat that weight times 13. That's basic level - your own requirements would go up depending on your metabolism and activity level.
You need to weigh everything and do you taste your food while cooking? A spoon here and there can easily add up to that extra 150 or so calories that is helping maintain a higher weight.
You are right that lack of sleep and breastfeeding does skew things. You need to overhaul your schedule to allow adequate 'self care'. Also recognise that your body composition does change with having children and aging.

I would go against the grain here, I don't think you should eat less at all. I think the breastfeeding hormones are preserving your current weight because biologically it's not great for bf mothers to loose weight. Calorie counting has been debunked. If you're able to religiously count calories then it suggests you're eating packet food which is processed and contains vegetable oils which drive your weight up. If I was you I'd increase your fat intake so it makes up a third of your diet, and I would add guy friendly foods like kefir and fermented foods, sourdough bread etc. Read the book why we eat too much. But basically please stop restricting yourself.

I think you need to be honest with yourself how much you eat

^ Me too. Given you put on weight again and you're breastfeeding so need extra calories, you should have easily maintained when you stopped the xercise The obvious answer here is you must be eating more than you think by not weighing anything.

Calorie counting really hasn't been debunked! It is the basis of every weight loss programme.

This

Thanks all, will look at everything you have put today.

I think you will find it easier to lose weight once you stop breastfeeding. My experience was that the body holds onto weight while breastfeeding but as soon as I stopped, without trying, I lost all the weight I'd gained through pregnancy and more. It took a few years before it crept back up to normal.

Yes you're very overweight and yes, you're making excuses.

I was in a similar boat for years and it was only when I accepted that I was eating too much, I wasn't doing enough exercise, and no I definitely wasn't in starvation mode, that I lost the weight and kept it off.

1500 or so calories a dayof healthy food, 10,000 steps a day, no alcohol, and 3-4 decent workouts a week will get you to a healthy weight and keep you there. But it's got to be a permanent lifestyle change, not a quick fad.

I could have written you post OP although less children but slightly younger. I track calories and don not go over 1200 but do struggle to fit in exercise, I try and walk where possible. I think I am going to get my thyroid checked though as there is some family history of issues.