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Original poster

Will you be opening your home up to Ukrainian refugees?

999 replies

musicalfrog · 11/03/2022 08:03

Interested to see how popular this will be considering so many of us want desperately to make a tangible difference.

My OH wouldn't be up for it I don't think, and we don't have a spare room so I will avoid that particular argument. But otherwise I think it would be such a great thing to do.

The govt is asking for a minimum commitment of 6 months. Will you be signing up?

OP posts:
5thnonblonde · 11/03/2022 09:34

Bit of a red herring here from the govt who could pay out to house them in self catered accommodation. Ppl saying ‘imagine if it was you’ well yes, imagine you were processing huge trauma. Would you like to do it in the spare room if a kindly stranger or would you prefer your own space to fall apart in.

Norgie · 11/03/2022 09:34

@AHungryCaterpillar I've done it before and I'll do it again, as often as needed.

Angelswithflirtyfaces · 11/03/2022 09:35

How many people fleeing will be staying with Boris, Rishi, and the M.Ps with large homes/ second homes?
A wonderful idea in theory, but after offering sanctuary myself to a 'friend' that tried to then get me and DH out of our own home until we kicked him out, I would feel even more threatened by a stranger. Absolutely they are desperate people and totally should come here on a temp basis, but they are still humans, many of which will have problems with mental health, alchohol, or just quirks that will make sharing a home very hard. Resentment will build if they are untidy/ too tidy/ noisy/ have strange routines or personalities. I think only very tolerant people with lots of space could make it work in reality.

McScreamysGhostPants · 11/03/2022 09:35

As much as I would love to help I can't. I do have a spare room, two in fact, but I'm a rape survivor and was also sexually abused as a child. Since I've dealt with ash that baggage my home is my sanctuary. There are a total of five people outside of my immediate family that I am happy to invite in. I can't even be alone when tradespeople are here as I get the west feeling of dread and panic.

Brainwave89 · 11/03/2022 09:36

We are considering. So far though I have found it really difficult to gather any information on how this will move forward. Practical questions like coping with extra food and heating costs, transport, refugee support arrangements etc. If anyone has any information can they please post? Still feels amazingly poorly organised.

Luredbyapomegranate · 11/03/2022 09:36

I would if I had a spare room.

I wouldn’t be mad keen on it, but the knowledge that I’d want someone to help me would make me do it. Also I think that although it can be tough you often gain more than you loose. It’s actively good for kids I think.

I do some work with a refugee organisation so I’ll keep doing that.

Blurp · 11/03/2022 09:36

We don't have a spare room and I wouldn't do it when I already have young kids in the house, but when I lived on my own with a spare room I would have done, quite happily. I don't think DH would, though.

We own a second house which we rent out, and if our current tenants decide to leave any time soon then I'll certainly make the house available if it's needed.

I'm concerned though that landing refugees in a house in a foreign country when they're traumatised and may not speak the language is a bit of a recipe for disaster. I think it would be better to initially house them somewhere where they can be with others from their own situation (who speak the same language, so they can chat and have a laugh easily), with access to counselling, maybe some language learning, support with kids etc. Then after a few months when they've built up a bit of knowledge of the language and local area and made some friends who they can keep in touch with, support them in moving into houses and spare rooms.

Sarah2891 · 11/03/2022 09:36

Definitely not. It can be awkward enough if people you know overstay their welcome let alone strangers! I think people mean well but I doubt many would actually do it. It's not easy having strangers live in the house with you.

Luredbyapomegranate · 11/03/2022 09:38

@Alondra

No. It looks a great humanitarian idea on paper but reality is that you are opening your home to strangers. You don't know them. You don't know what baggage is coming with them.

Much as the idea appeals, common sense wins.

It’s fine not to want to do it, but don’t dress it up as common sense. People take lodgers and flat share all the time.
WhatAWasteOfOranges · 11/03/2022 09:39

We hope to be able to host and have registered our interest with the council. I am so lucky in my life that I have a safe home that I could open up when someone else is going through hell. I have two young kids and I think it is important that they understand how lucky they are and that it is important to help when they can. I hope that they could show compassion and be welcoming to anyone who came to stay

Ff10n · 11/03/2022 09:41

As much as I feel l should want to help, the reality of taking in a traumatised single parent of traumatised children is not going to be what many people want it it to be. I think there is a lot of the romantic ideal of being a saviour floating around.

Thankfully we don't have a spare room so there is no option for us. I would only consider it if I had a self contained annex - it would be too much for everyone - us and them - to join in with family life here. We're all on top of each other as it is.

Plus - the bills! I don't see the government giving a generous compensation package to those who do open their homes. In fact, I think they've only suggested it as a proposal because the reality will be that very few will actually go ahead to open their homes. Then the govt can do what they usually do, and say we'd take more refugees but "the will of the people" isn't behind us. Arseholes.

Angelswithflirtyfaces · 11/03/2022 09:41

If the government can knock up the nightingale hospitals that quickly, I am sure they could build some temporary modular housing in suitable places just as quickly. We are a different society now from WW2 naturally not as community minded sadly. I agree that placing them with strangers would be hard for them too, they would feel beholden when they need their own communities for support. I applaud anyone that could genuinly make it work, but its like fostering kids. A wonderful idea, but it takes pretty special people to make it work over a longer period.

Unsure33 · 11/03/2022 09:42

@LadyCatStark

I don’t know, we have a spare room but if we had to provide for them too, we just wouldn’t be able to afford it the way things are.
As far as I know the councils will sponsor the refugees and also private companies
HalloHello · 11/03/2022 09:42

Is this being asked of us now? When does it end? If the war carries on across Europe, do we need to house everyone? Who will house us when we have to flee? It's madness and as much as I would like to say I could do this, I would never be able to. Can barely afford our own cost of living right now.

Alondra · 11/03/2022 09:43

[quote Wintersbone]@Alondra No. For a lot of us humanity will win. It won't be a picnic but imagine if it was you and your kids? I don't see any other option but to offer as we have the space. [/quote]
Which is great for you and your family. Not for me. I'm not making excuses, I'm saying it as it is.

With large movements of displaced people, around 10% are criminals. I don't want me or my family hosting for months strangers in this percentage.

Gonnagetgoing · 11/03/2022 09:43

For me, I'd have to think about it. I already might have to let a spare room due to rising bills. I do have a box room though.

Woollystockings · 11/03/2022 09:43

@Sarah2891

Definitely not. It can be awkward enough if people you know overstay their welcome let alone strangers! I think people mean well but I doubt many would actually do it. It's not easy having strangers live in the house with you.
It’s normal for people to live with strangers. People live in house shares or have lodgers all the time. In fact, most people I know live in this sort of setup.
Gonnagetgoing · 11/03/2022 09:46

If the government offered me money towards them staying e.g. bills and food then of course I'd stay.

But not sure I'd want someone at home all day (I'm WFH but expected back in the office at least 2-4 days a month) who then uses all my electricity etc. I do feel for refugees though.

godmum56 · 11/03/2022 09:46

no. I would (and have) donated both money and stuff but this is not something that I am able to do.

Woollystockings · 11/03/2022 09:46

@HalloHello

Is this being asked of us now? When does it end? If the war carries on across Europe, do we need to house everyone? Who will house us when we have to flee? It's madness and as much as I would like to say I could do this, I would never be able to. Can barely afford our own cost of living right now.
No, it has not been asked of you. Of course, in other war times, you wouldn’t have had any choice and people would be billeted on you.
implantreplace · 11/03/2022 09:48

Absolutely not

For their sakes as well as mine!!!

whitedahlias · 11/03/2022 09:49

No space but I suspect we are not suitable anyway as CEV and CV household.

Hopefully there will be financial support for those who do. And support for the refugees in finding work, childcare, language classes? If all that were set up I think it would become easier to contemplate.

RedWingBoots · 11/03/2022 09:49

@Kendodd wasn't on MN then. Not all homeless people are white and not all homeless people are immediately visible e.g. sofa surfers.

JustAnotherUserinParadise · 11/03/2022 09:49

Ooh we could posisbly do this - we only have one main bathroom but we have 2 spare bedrooms. Is there a link for more information? Or how to sign up?

SapphosRock · 11/03/2022 09:50

There are already 4 of us in a 2 bed flat so unfortunately not. If we had a bigger place then absolutely.