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Original poster

Will you be opening your home up to Ukrainian refugees?

999 replies

musicalfrog · 11/03/2022 08:03

Interested to see how popular this will be considering so many of us want desperately to make a tangible difference.

My OH wouldn't be up for it I don't think, and we don't have a spare room so I will avoid that particular argument. But otherwise I think it would be such a great thing to do.

The govt is asking for a minimum commitment of 6 months. Will you be signing up?

OP posts:
entropynow · 12/03/2022 18:42

Perhaps, although I m deeply suspicious of BJ's motive which appears to be "sound lovely and generous then in practice give no help to move anyone on, and if the hosts run into any issues/delays, blame them and wash hands vigorously"

Namefortodayandtomorrow · 12/03/2022 18:44

So many Ukrainians have walked away from their homes, money, pets, personal belongings and people on here are worried about how their poor kids will react to having to share their space for 6 months. Surely this would teach kids about compassion, values and world affairs? And while many people are struggling with bills and getting by, don’t forget these people have walked away with nothing but a few pairs of pants and a passport. We have signed up to host and hoping the government gets their act together to make it happen,

LoisLane66 · 12/03/2022 18:45

You don't know who they'd invite back when you were out at work or shopping, the school run etc. You don't know who they'd open the door to. You could get men (or women) who find out you're housing a refugee and knock at the door when you're out, purporting to be your brother/uncle/sister and then stealing stuff. If the person lodging with you speaks little to no English, they're not going to be able to deny entry to someone who MAY, in their mind, be your relative if they say so.

Spaceshiphaslanded · 12/03/2022 18:47

We will do it. We have enough space just with a bit of shuffling and 2 kids. I actually think it will be good for the Ukrainian kids to be with other kids - and selfishly I think an experience my kids would value. Cost of living is stupid just now, but 2 more mouths just needs a bit of creative menu planning. Also the odds are these people won’t be poor - I’m sure they’ll be only too keen to contribute in whatever way they can. I hope to god if this was happening to us, we would find refuge in a welcoming home somewhere. Makes me so sad.

Justkeeppedaling · 12/03/2022 18:50

@ginghamstarfish

I'd be interested to see how many would actually do this, rather than just trumpet about it on social media. Not many I suspect, just like all those (including many 'celebs') who said they would leave the country if Brexit happened. Just talk.
100% - we will.
LoisLane66 · 12/03/2022 18:50

A minimum 6 months takes us to September. Remember that bills go up again on 1st October.

BananaPlants · 12/03/2022 18:51

I live in an area with lots of second homes. They can’t be let as holiday lets so are empty for much of the year apart from a few weeks i the warmer. Quite a few seem to be slightly older couples on their own, but with three or four bed houses. It will be interesting to see if any of those are offered, but somehow I doubt it.

LoisLane66 · 12/03/2022 18:52

Will they have had all the vaccines and booster? You have to think of every single thing which might make an untenable impact on your life and family relationship. There is no going back if you say 'Yes' .

Verysadatwork · 12/03/2022 18:53

On the “people like me” theme, can you find people from same professional background (so you have something in common?).

I don’t care about race but I do think we’d only cope if there were common interests/background

Blossomtoes · 12/03/2022 18:55

@LoisLane66

You don't know who they'd invite back when you were out at work or shopping, the school run etc. You don't know who they'd open the door to. You could get men (or women) who find out you're housing a refugee and knock at the door when you're out, purporting to be your brother/uncle/sister and then stealing stuff. If the person lodging with you speaks little to no English, they're not going to be able to deny entry to someone who MAY, in their mind, be your relative if they say so.
We get it. You don’t want to do it. You really don’t need to keep writing reams of typically MN catastrophising excuses.
LowlandLucky · 12/03/2022 18:56

Yes, but there are distant relatives, my Husbands family was from Ukraine that arrived here after the war.

Bringsexyback · 12/03/2022 18:57

@entropynow

Perhaps, although I m deeply suspicious of BJ's motive which appears to be "sound lovely and generous then in practice give no help to move anyone on, and if the hosts run into any issues/delays, blame them and wash hands vigorously"
Whilst singing Happy Birthday 🎂 🙄🙄🤦‍♀️
SewingMum46 · 12/03/2022 18:59

I had this conversation with my DH a couple of days ago. Two of our 3 dds have left home and one bedroom is now my workroom - I wfh three days a week and have been using a small living room for the last 10 years. So we now have a tiny room for one dd to use if they come home. Regardless of our lack of much space, the rising price of power and food etc, and DH being very anti illegal immigrants, we both said we’d do it. It costs the same to heat the house for 3 as for 5, and tbh we don’t spend much less on food for 3 either. We lived in Zimbabwe through awful shortages there, and got used to eating well with not much at all. An extra mouth to feed, frankly, wouldn’t affect us that much and I’d like to think that someone would take care of our dds if they were in the same situation as many of the refugees - the majority are women with small children.
My df grew up in London during the war and his neighbours dd, whose mother was French, had been left with family in Southern France in the summer of 1939, aged about 8 - no-one expected her not to be able to be collected and brought home six weeks later. It was almost 7 years before she made it home and he remembers clearly seeing her walk alone up the street with a tiny cardboard suitcase, having made it home alone from France. He said the similarities between then and now make him feel terribly sad, and if he was younger (he’s 87) he’d take in refugees.
I know it’s a 6 month commitment, and you don’t know who you are taking on - but these people don’t want to be away from their homes, they don’t know who they’d be going to either, and why would you not want to help someone whose life has been torn apart? It’s bad enough finding your way around a foreign city on holiday, let alone finding your way across a continent with only the clothes on your back and no idea of where you are going or when you’ll next have a bed to sleep in. It would be a privilege to be able to give someone even the shortest respite from the absolute misery that their life is at the moment.

secretsqizzle · 12/03/2022 19:00

I have a tiny space but a spare room. I will offer that space to someone who needs it because I would want them to offer the same to me and mine in a similar situation.
Luckily ..
I do not believe 'foreigners ' will attack me and my children.
I hope that if I were in the same situation people would trust me to simple be thankful.:

My god .! I had no understanding exactly how many xenophobic people inhabited MN..

I think it makes me want to leave this space if it's full of 'forin' haters.

Doodar · 12/03/2022 19:00

@Wonnle

Not a hope in hell !

How about getting homes for the 1000's of homeless we already have on the streets

in my very large London borough most homeless people were offered or put up in empty hotel rooms during the pandemic. A very large percentage left within a couple of days because they couldn't continue with their drug/anti social behaviour in there. The mentally ill people on the streets need to be put in residential care.
Parker231 · 12/03/2022 19:00

@LoisLane66

Will they have had all the vaccines and booster? You have to think of every single thing which might make an untenable impact on your life and family relationship. There is no going back if you say 'Yes' .
If they haven’t they can, if they choose to have them. Hardly a good reason not to help a family.
Topseyt · 12/03/2022 19:01

No. I feel awful and very selfish saying that, but I just don't think we could make it work and don't think I could cope with it. Just being honest.

I'll do absolutely anything else. I've already given money, and will give more next month.

FlyingGeeseAgain · 12/03/2022 19:02

Will the NHS be providing free vaccines to Ukrainian’s? The govt haven’t said so.

LillethCrane · 12/03/2022 19:02

I haven’t read the whole thread so apologies if this has already been covered.

I would happily offer a room to a mum and child. However, we privately rent so I’m not sure if we’d be allowed… it’s probably in our contract that we can’t host anyone not declared when we moved in. If that’s not the case, then yes we would, absolutely.

MrsCat1 · 12/03/2022 19:03

Yes I think we will. We actually registered to host refugees last September and our application is still going through so I do wonder how they are going to cope with the organisation. We read up on it quite extensively last year and decided it was something our family would like to do given that we have one or two spare rooms.

britneyisfree · 12/03/2022 19:04

@LoisLane66

You don't know who they'd invite back when you were out at work or shopping, the school run etc. You don't know who they'd open the door to. You could get men (or women) who find out you're housing a refugee and knock at the door when you're out, purporting to be your brother/uncle/sister and then stealing stuff. If the person lodging with you speaks little to no English, they're not going to be able to deny entry to someone who MAY, in their mind, be your relative if they say so.
Can you imagine the posts on AIBU? Blush
Notjustabrunette · 12/03/2022 19:04

No, as we have no space. If we had something like a granny annexe, then yes I would. If only to keep he actually granny away.

Londoncallingme · 12/03/2022 19:04

I have a spare room but it’s a ‘no’ from me.

LoisLane66 · 12/03/2022 19:05

Goodbye to your booked holidays if you offer a room. What will you do then?

Parker231 · 12/03/2022 19:08

@LoisLane66

Goodbye to your booked holidays if you offer a room. What will you do then?
Why not? We hosted a family when DT’s were young. We carried on going to work, school, holidays etc.