Will you be opening your home up to Ukrainian refugees?

[musicalfrog]

Interested to see how popular this will be considering so many of us want desperately to make a tangible difference.

My OH wouldn't be up for it I don't think, and we don't have a spare room so I will avoid that particular argument. But otherwise I think it would be such a great thing to do.

The govt is asking for a minimum commitment of 6 months. Will you be signing up?

@VisaQuestions ((hugs))

No. I don't think it's right or fair for any parties involved. Tbh, a hotel room is a far better option because it gives the basic dignity of a space that's their own where they don't have to worry about upsetting anyone if they use the wrong fridge shelf, where they can do as they please whenever they want.

a hotel room is a far better option because it gives the basic dignity of a space that's their own where they don't have to worry about upsetting anyone if they use the wrong fridge shelf

The problem is the level of hotel in which they could be accommodated. Some of the standards have been appalling. Also living within the community, with a family who are inclined to help (not just gain brownie points), will sure help people settle more quickly?

We intend to offer our independent 'granny annexe', after finding out more about the commitment and costs. I would be far less likely to offer if we were having to share a kitchen and living room - and I had children still at home.

A family living in a hotel room for a year is better than sharing a home with another welcoming family?

Deluded ...

Yeah, like someone is going to be welcoming for a year! The shine will wear off after 3 days. None of us would be happy in that situation. They are human beings: they deserve their own independent space with specialist services instead of someone's tiny box room. This is about them, not us getting a nice, warm feeling.

@Alltheprettyseahorses

No. I don't think it's right or fair for any parties involved. Tbh, a hotel room is a far better option because it gives the basic dignity of a space that's their own where they don't have to worry about upsetting anyone if they use the wrong fridge shelf, where they can do as they please whenever they want.

But how could they cook or make anything to eat? Or store any food? After the Grenfell disaster whole families were put in one hotel room. It was awful.

Speak only for yourself seahorses.

There will be support from charities and councils to help make it work.

some care companies are talking about taking on the refugees, with the idea that they work as carers.

I think we all agree that a private, self-contained space would be preferable. The issue is if those aren't available for whatever good or bad reason.

a granny annexe @ajandjjmum sounds absolutely ideal

@VisaQuestions

It does irritate me all this ‘safeguarding’ waffle.

I’m told my children’s sister, female 20s, is ‘safe’ constantly. Living with unknown people in a foreign country or at points sleeping in a car as a young female in a neighbouring country. Unvetted strangers we’ve never met. But ‘safe’

Yet apparently in the UK that isn’t ‘safe’ if you do that.

She’s been doing this for weeks. But there’s no need to rush her visa to get to our family home in the UK, she’s ‘safe’. I will honestly scream the next time someone says ‘oh but she’s safe’, just because she isn’t being actually bombed. They don’t see why I am so wound up.

Thankfully the Polish have just allowed any one to take a refugee and claim a benefit support for it, otherwise she and many could be freezing on the street without countries that simply opened their doors.

Makes no sense And sure as hell doesn’t support the idea that safeguarding is “waffle”

@VisaQuestions

* I’m told my children’s sister, female 20s, is ‘safe’ constantly.*

But not your child or step child?

And not everyone has only got 'tiny box rooms' to offer (not that there is anything wrong with that).

Some have annexes so people can be independent; we have a large guest room with an ensuite and a smaller 2nd bedroom to offer - we are lucky not to be short of space, or money, and I'm sure it will involve quite a lot of compromises at the start, it won't be easy, but having seen the awful pictures on the news of children I want to help in my own small way.

[quote implantreplace]@VisaQuestions

* I’m told my children’s sister, female 20s, is ‘safe’ constantly.*

But not your child or step child? [/quote]
Could be her former partner‘s new child with the new partner.

Not sure that was the most pertinent part of the post though my concern would be more who actually is responsible if that young girl gets put into the hands of some people trafficker after the government is paid for them to offer a spare room to her ?
Or who pays damages if the girl gets into a home and mistreats the children within it, obviously one would assume this isn’t gonna happen but it’s not out of the question.

We intend to offer our independent 'granny annexe', after finding out more about the commitment and costs. I would be far less likely to offer if we were having to share a kitchen and living room - and I had children still at home

I assume we'll be cooking for them

We've had loads of foreign visitors over the years: au pairs, and more recently hosting children and adults from local English language schools.
Whilst refugees are here in difficult circumstances it's still a great way to understand other cultures, food etc.
They are adults now, hence the spare rooms, but I think our DCs have really benefitted from this exposure to "foreigners". It really breaks down barriers - they learn that, no matter what our differences, we all cry and laugh at the same things.
We will offer our home for sure. Selfishly, we will benefit from this too.
People are only strangers until you meet them, and it's a lot more difficult to live in someone else's home than to have someone in your home.
DH and have no hesitation in opening up our home to those in need, particularly women and children.

i think they would want to be within a community of other ukrainee refugees, or nearby to them, for the language issue for starters.

How are they going to cook etc in someone's house daisypond? There are enough mumsnet threads on similar situations. No, if this is going to be done it has to be done properly and professionally with full respect for the dignity of refugees. I know that's never been taken into account before, here's a chance to change

Well the numbers fleeing the war are so large that it is likely there will be other Ukrainian refugees nearby.

I understand that many Ukrainians also speak good English. There is a preference for housing them in cities where there will be better access to jobs, schools and support networks.

Seahorses we will cook for our Ukrainian guests as part of the family as we would cook for any other guests in our home.

And they will be able to use our kitchen whenever they want, just like a member of the family can.

Over time I expect we would probably share the cooking, like when I did house shares as a student.

@Alltheprettyseahorses

How are they going to cook etc in someone's house daisypond? There are enough mumsnet threads on similar situations. No, if this is going to be done it has to be done properly and professionally with full respect for the dignity of refugees. I know that's never been taken into account before, here's a chance to change

What do you mean? They cook by using the kitchen. I’ve housed a couple of young people on the verge of homelessness before. They are welcome to eat with us, or do their own thing using the kitchen if they want. They have a shelf in the fridge and a cupboard in the kitchen. They stay for a few months, and when they are in a better position, they move on.

@Alltheprettyseahorses

How are they going to cook etc in someone's house daisypond? There are enough mumsnet threads on similar situations. No, if this is going to be done it has to be done properly and professionally with full respect for the dignity of refugees. I know that's never been taken into account before, here's a chance to change

Have you ever had people stay long term with you before? I don't think this is as big a problem as you are expecting.

We have had lodgers, language students, au pairs - it usually ends up being a mix of us cooking dinner for everyone, people sorting out their own meals, taking turns in cooking, or everyone operating independently.

I think you do probably need to be fairly sociable and laid back as a family for this to work.
If you don't enjoy having guests or are very particular or anxious there may be other ways you can help without hosting.

I don't think my mental health would cope with long term guests. Dh once invited a family we are friends with to stay for one night. I was a stressed out mess.

Absolutely this is not for everyone, I get that.

What happens after six months? It's not like there's suddenly going to be a lot of houses built, or any guarantee that the situation will be resolved.

I think anybody welcoming them into their homes may have to be prepared to host the refugees for far longer than a six month period.

What about impacts of stress, PTSD etc. Language barrier?

For a few weeks, yes I think many people would open up their homes and provide a genuine and helpful experience. After a few months I'm not so sure it will be so beneficial for either party.