Will you be opening your home up to Ukrainian refugees?

[musicalfrog]

Interested to see how popular this will be considering so many of us want desperately to make a tangible difference.

My OH wouldn't be up for it I don't think, and we don't have a spare room so I will avoid that particular argument. But otherwise I think it would be such a great thing to do.

The govt is asking for a minimum commitment of 6 months. Will you be signing up?

We had been researching this before the announcement, understanding which charities were doing what and where and reading up on the useful FAQs provided that address practical concerns, notably

www.refugeesathome.org/

refugeecouncil.org.uk

and for scots www.roomforrefugees.com/

As far as I can see the government cunning plan is to be gracious enough to actually let people in and forcibly co-opt the voluntary sector and the public to handle through sponsorship and accommodation.

What absolutely sticks in my craw would be obliging this government elected on anti-immigration, and their obstructive Home Office, who is already in a mess with Afghanistan refugees still languishing in shitty hostels.

How dare they make acts of charity (which is meant to be the emergency back up to fill the cracks chasms in social care) the first pillar of their 'strategy'? It is actually a disincentive.

I am also having a long hard think about why I am now willing to provide that buffer for Ukrainians when I did not do so for the many migrants who are here and already in need. Possibly because this is an urgent crisis, but I hope this also shines a light on the party and policies we voted for in all their ugliness.

No even if there was space. I’ve lived with a Ukrainian before and she wasn’t particularly nice,though I’m sure most are there is no guarantee you would get on. I think people should give up their holiday homes though.

In my area they are calling out for people to home Ukrainian orphans temporarily. We are considering it as we have someone at home all day and a spare room. Plus our family speak a similar language. We couldn’t home a family but one person or a child yes. My mum came from a another country herself during the revolution in Europe and was looked after here. Only fair we do the same if we can.

No for many reasons (mainly logisticaleven if we had space we'll be moving to another country in the next few months and probably sofa surfing for a while), but would be very glad to offer practical and/or financial help in any way we could.

Absolutely nobody is forced to do this nor are people who wouldn't or couldn't being judged in any way for not wanting to welcome strangers into their home. It's not for everyone. The only judgment I have seen on these threads though is from people who wouldn't do it towards people who would want to. Why?
And as for all the whataboutery, homeless people, foster kids, Syrians, I heard somebody say recently that people who criticise others with what about others groups you didn't help (while having no idea if you did or not) these people generally care about neither groups.

Yes and it's a shame more people aren't open to men and teenage boys. My Dad and his brothers arrived in this country at 17 and 20 and if they hadn't been taken in by a host family, I don't know what would have become of them. I certainly wouldn't exist.

I’ve lived with a Ukrainian before and she wasn’t particularly nice

I lived with a mancunian before and she wasn't very nice, there I would never live with another mancunian

Bizarre thing to say.

it's so difficult on many levels...so many things could go wrong as others have pointed out! I find after a few days house guests annoy me...lol! so ok for a few weeks but 6 months is a heck of a long time to take in strangers to live with you...

No as they never offered this for the millions of other refugees and other races.

You could offer this yourself though. Here you go: www.refugeesathome.org/

I foster unaccompanied asylum seeking children. These are usually teen boys that have made a very difficult journey to safety in the uk. It is the single best thing I have ever done with my life.

If anyone is thinking of hosting a family but isn't sure about strange adults or a whole family in their home, perhaps fostering UASCs may be something you might be up for in the future.

If so you can get in touch with the council or an independent fostering agency to get more information. Some organisations only approve foster carers if they take English kids as well but this isn't always the case so speak to a few places, unless you fancy doing mainstream fostering.

Lovely to see so many people willing to open their hearts and homes to vulnerable people.

Considering the issues most Mumsnetters seem to have with even family visiting for a short period

I'm always completely gobsmacked by how many on MN expect their parents or in laws to stay in hotels rather than with them, but then I grew up in a big latin american family where extended family are valued and loved as much as nuclear family members.

No.

Yes and have already signed up through the Airbnb scheme (which is often slated on here).

Also signed up during the Syrian crisis, and for keyworkers during Covid, which was very well utilised.

We are fortunate though to have this space to offer. It will reduce our income, but we can make some cutbacks.

Freedombpass I didn’t like her, I’m not sure if it was her personality or a cultural clash. I don’t know any other Ukrainians to compare with, it was probably just her. Part of the reason everyone is keen to have Ukrainian refugees over other refugees is because the media have told us they are better than other refugees but I know that’s not true.

I'm thinking about it and the logistics. Don't have space for a family, but maybe a disabled teenager/young adult or elderly person.

@Pyewhacket

So, a cacophony of abuse thrown at the government for not instigating an open-door policy on refugees from Ukraine and yet when the opportunity for the same ppl to actually put their money where their months is it's, " Oh God NO, I couldn't possibly do that".

The stench of hypocrisy is over whelming.

And yes, I would offer to help. I have a property on the Dorset coast that I inherited from my grandparents which can accommodate at least one family. And not only will I be losing the income as a holiday destination but I will be footing all utility bill costs and providing food. I can also arrange employment too.

Sometimes you've got to stop shouting at everybody to do something and actually start doing it yourself. Otherwise, your just full of shit.

I’m sure a good many people would like to have a spare house to offer. Unfortunately the vast majority of us don’t.

i am hoping to give a space to someone i know who i work with in the Ukraine who has fled but stuck in Poland atm.

I would have thought it would be better to fund 6 months worth of air bnb or something (I don't mean for one person to foot the entire bill, I mean setting up a donation fund so that many people would contribute and it would pay the air bnb bill).

I don't imagine most people have spare space. We have a spare room (small) which is now dh office for 3 days a week since covid. Plus the cupboard contains all sorts of things - suitcases and random stuff. It'd be uncomfortable and squashed even for one night. No private bathroom, almost no privacy at all. Paper thin modern walls. It would be horrible for us and horrible for a stranger. Either the host or the stranger could be put in a very unsafe position. I would prefer to see funds opened for air bnb bills, general bnb bills, short term rental properties etc. It's not reasonable for people who own those kind of things to have to offer them for free (unless they are swimming in money and don't mind). My brother has an (owned with mortgage) rental property as he had to relocate to live near his workplace in a property that he rents from a landlord. If he offered his owned property, then he would not be able to pay the mortgage - as his own salary goes on his own rent.

People are talking about turning off their heating due to the rises.

I just think that there will only be a tiny, tiny proportion of people able to properly help refugees in their own homes. Loads on MN would not accept men, only women and children. But on the other side of that coin, why would you send a vulnerable female refugee and child into the home of a random man? Safeguarding flies out of the window. I would get into serious trouble if I set foot onto school property due to safeguarding.

I definitely think that money should be donated for private living facilities.

No
Couple of reasons
I'm disabled and immunocompromised so I'm extremely wary about having other people in the house and when I'm ill I can barely cope with my own family let alone anyone else. I also have caring responsibilities for my mother who has Alzheimer's so I really would struggle with anything more on my plate to support.
We live rurally and although there is some public transport at limited I'd be worried about how isolated and cut off they would be here especially when we are working.

We have been financially contributing to various refugee charities both with regards to Ukraine and other conflicts prior to this one which is the best way we feel we can realistically help.

I definitely think that money should be donated for private living facilities.

That's effectively what several organisations like Sanctuary are asking for:

www.sanctuaryfoundation.org.uk/

I’m so angry

Hearing a man on LBC being lauded for bringing a 9 year old over here in his van. Her mother has a heart attack and in hospital so the 9 year old is alone. He was contacted “by her aunt on Facebook”

I am angry because no one seems to be thinking about how vulnerable these children and women are. These children deserve to be protected in the same way a British child should be protected in this county. And no way would SS allow what people are offering without a huge amount of enquiry

So many, this thread included, like bulls in china shop.

@Viviennemary

No. But I would if I was a different type of person.

A lot more honest than most on here!

I don't know how anyone can decide at the moment, because we just don't know enough about the scheme. DH and I have taken in strangers short-term in the past - similar to emergency fostering but for adults who are temporarily homeless. Over all, it was a positive experience, but it wasn't easy - and that was for a couple of weeks for each placement, tops. Before I could commit to 6 months, I'd need to know what support there will be, especially if the placement breaks down. I don't want to find myself choosing between being uncomfortable in my own home versus kicking a mother and child onto the streets. But, as long as the scheme is properly run, I would definitely consider getting involved.

For anyone who does do it, I would recommend being really clear about what you want, in terms of house rules, from the start. For example, if you are happy to share the kitchen, but want to keep the living room to yourselves in the evenings, it is better to say so than to try to muddle along and end up getting annoyed. We started off being too wishy-washy, and that didn't help anyone. Be realistic about what will work for you, and about your needs - including privacy.

@PutYourBackIntoit

Yes and have already signed up through the Airbnb scheme (which is often slated on here).

Also signed up during the Syrian crisis, and for keyworkers during Covid, which was very well utilised.

We are fortunate though to have this space to offer. It will reduce our income, but we can make some cutbacks.

Have you had refugees stay with you before, then? May I ask what the experience was like?

No for so many reasons including safety, trust, language and support if it turns out to be inconvenient, unsuitable. I don’t think this government would be efficient enough to handle a problem.

@Freedombpass

Yes and it's a shame more people aren't open to men and teenage boys. My Dad and his brothers arrived in this country at 17 and 20 and if they hadn't been taken in by a host family, I don't know what would have become of them. I certainly wouldn't exist.

Yep. My Polish FIL arrived here after WW2 when he couldn't return to Poland after fighting for the allies. My MIL's DSis and BIL took him in and he got work down the local coal mine. Then he met my MIL and the rest is history.

I'd exist without their action, but my late DH and my children wouldn't!