Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Will you be opening your home up to Ukrainian refugees?

999 replies

musicalfrog · 11/03/2022 08:03

Interested to see how popular this will be considering so many of us want desperately to make a tangible difference.

My OH wouldn't be up for it I don't think, and we don't have a spare room so I will avoid that particular argument. But otherwise I think it would be such a great thing to do.

The govt is asking for a minimum commitment of 6 months. Will you be signing up?

OP posts:
HereComesSpringAgain · 11/03/2022 12:02

I would potentially but would not want children

So a couple of women or an older male/female couple

DressingPafe · 11/03/2022 12:03

No. I'm not going to make any excuses, I just don't want to. It might be a wonderful experience, or it might be expensive, awkward and uncomfortable for all of us, and I'm not prepared to risk it. I'm a very solitary person.

Fact is, I wouldn't expect any one to host me in the same circumstances. Because, at my age, if I lost everything I wouldn't want to go on anyway. In my mind I'm too old to start over with just the clothes on my back. So I don't feel I'm being a hypocrit as I wouldn't expect help in the same situation.

Xenia · 11/03/2022 12:04

No, but that does not mean I don't support their cause . I hope Russia leaves Ukraine. Russia has done terrible damage, completely unjustified.

JustAnotherApple · 11/03/2022 12:04

@Pyewhacket

*But the government should be the ones to at the first instance be supporting refugees

After that if individuals want to step up and offer accommodation then great but it feels like it’s just a way for the government to get out of their responsibility*

............ So you think the government can suddenly magic-up accommodation for up to 1/2 million people, on top of the 150, 000 or so migrants who invade the south coast on a daily basis.

Take a lesson from the Polish people and start looking at what you PERSONALLY can do to help. Being an arse doesn't help anybody and makes you look inadequate.

How am I being an arse ?!!! Why are you being so foully rude ?

I’ve said if people can help then great - but the government can and should be doing more . That doesn’t make me an arse …

JustAnotherApple · 11/03/2022 12:05

And I will add @Pyewhacket I have exhausted what I can personally do already - so you really are out of order

Rosehugger · 11/03/2022 12:05

We can't even have guests sleeping over (unless they are friends of DDs and sleeping in their room) so have no space at all. I can well see our in-laws taking people in though.

multivac · 11/03/2022 12:07

You do realise that people all over the UK are already offering space in their homes for refugees/asylum seekers, and have been doing so for years? Refugees at Home

Sockpile · 11/03/2022 12:08

No I wouldn’t.

I imagine it would be really emotionally draining. These people are going to be traumatised and very worried about the future.

They will probably need help to access services like education and healthcare - who is going to take responsibility, the host family or will a service be created? I imagine host families will not just be giving a room they will be part of the families support network too. Even though I’m in a comfortable position financially I would worry about the financial impact particularly as the cost of living is rising.

Catclean · 11/03/2022 12:08

@Muppetlove

Would love to know how many MPs or those in the upper classes open up their homes and second homes. I bet very few.
Do you mean "upper classes" or people who have money and resources? They aren't the same thing. My partner and I are not upper class, but...

We're making enquiries because we have a sort of bunk house separate to our home and are thinking of offering that. It's well cared for, has two bathrooms and shared living and kitchen space.

We need to consider where to put the people who normally use it when they are with us (business related). Also issues of security and safety - not so much about our home but around the livestock, tools and machinery that are nearby.

We would need to fully understand what the situation would be if a person or family needed to go due to behaviour. Also what happens in 6 months time. What support they will have economically, for schooling etc. That sort of thing... It's certainly not as simple as just opening a door and inviting people in.

CaptSkippy · 11/03/2022 12:08

I am a massive introvert and I struggle with people visiting me just for a few days and these are people I know. It's also not financially feasible. I can't afford to support another person on my salary.

So I won't, but I have respect for those who do.

HereComesSpringAgain · 11/03/2022 12:08

I also worry about taking someone in who may then eventually develop a bit of a problem. Mentally

Depression will inevitably set in at some point, all mental health issues can quickly spiral

We may find ourselves dealing with incidents we are not familiar with, feel unable to help with and as we know, mental health provision in this country is already woeful. What happens at that point?

JenifromtheBlock · 11/03/2022 12:08

@FlyingGeeseAgain

I just can’t see how this would work at all. Different languages so couldn’t communicate. The refugees will have no money so can’t go out or do anything. Are they going to sit in your house all day with nothing to do? Evenings spent trying to watch TV with people who are traumatised and don’t understand what they’re watching? Traumatised young children who are bored and frightened in a stranger’s home? How is cooking going to work or meal times? It’s a logistical nightmare. We don’t have the space, but it just wouldn’t work for us on any level.
Most Ukrainians speak very good English. They are being given rights to work and access benefits. There will be financial support and they will have keyworker and charity support.
NumericalBlock · 11/03/2022 12:08

No, we're already sharing a room with our kids because dhs job now has permanent working from home with only part time office time, so we have no space. I would ike to help practically locally though, helping people settle in or just meeting people at the park so that their kids have others to play with and they have somebody to talk to if they want. But at the moment there isn't much going on from what I can find.

Electriq · 11/03/2022 12:09

I dont have a spare room, but if I did I absolutely would take a mum and her children.

HopingForMyRainbowBaby · 11/03/2022 12:10

Sadly I don't have the room, but if I did I'd definitely consider it. The way I see it is. Is that if the tables were turned and it was us fleeing the Uk with young kids wouldn't we hope someone would be kind enough to let us stay with them, It just goes to show how selfish a nation we actually are!!

Hellolittlestar · 11/03/2022 12:10

No, I wouldn’t. I have a kid and would not feel comfortable with anybody in our house. It’s fantastic that there are many selfless people that would.

Original poster
musicalfrog · 11/03/2022 12:10

Lots of responses thank you! Just having a read through now. Looks about half and half from the first few pages which I find really heartening.

OP posts:
zafferana · 11/03/2022 12:11

I would if we had an empty granny flat, but as we come and go a lot and need our spare room for DH's family coming over in the summer - no. I couldn't cope with strangers living in my home FT - it would do my head in.

Citabell · 11/03/2022 12:12

I suspect they will have access to more financial and practical support than those in this country who are disabled or struggle for other reasons out of their control. I wouldn't have thought the children that come over would be left to go hungry or parents without meals to ensure their children do get some food. Which is right and which is good, we can perhaps hope that this care is extended to those already here who have been screaming out for help.

ChoiceMummy · 11/03/2022 12:12

@DetailMouse

I think it's very telling that the vast majority of responses are "I'd love to but because of xyz I couldn't" or "seriously considering but...."

I expect the stats for take up of this scheme will show that people don't actually want to help as much as they said they did.

Of course they won't. Talk is cheap. Did anyone expect otherwise? Just because some bleat a lot doesn't make them the genuine majority and mostly makes them hypocrites.

Same as all those saying bring millions in, noone is willing to say they'll pay for this or how this will work with the already stretched services for the citizens already living here.

roarfeckingroarr · 11/03/2022 12:12

No because I have a toddler and it's just the two of us. Otherwise I definitely would.

Tangled123 · 11/03/2022 12:14

My husband and I haven’t ruled it out as we have a spare room that could fit 2 pairs of bunkbeds. We also live near a bus stop and train station, so getting around wouldn’t be too difficult for them. We both work full time though, so I have concerns with leaving strangers in our home all day. I would be worried about coming home and finding the house wrecked, or us being robbed or locked out. I would be more comfortable if I was at home too.
The extra food/heating/electric costs would be offset if they looked after our daughter during the day instead of us paying childcare but I don’t know how realistic that is.

@FantasticFebruary Actually it might. Banging noises from a kitchen could be very triggering if they heard bombing/gunshots as they were fleeing.

Vimto1991 · 11/03/2022 12:15

Nope, got a baby on the way in three months time and I work from home. We literally wouldn’t have the room or time to care for them considering our position in life right now.

SunshineCake1 · 11/03/2022 12:15

I asked dh this morning and he said he thought we should as we have room. We'll certainly look into it.

DockOTheBay · 11/03/2022 12:16

No. We have 4 people, only one bathroom and no spare bedroom. So no space.

If we were older and the kids had moved out, then I would consider it, but only for a mum and baby/child.

Swipe left for the next trending thread