Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Will you be opening your home up to Ukrainian refugees?

999 replies

musicalfrog · 11/03/2022 08:03

Interested to see how popular this will be considering so many of us want desperately to make a tangible difference.

My OH wouldn't be up for it I don't think, and we don't have a spare room so I will avoid that particular argument. But otherwise I think it would be such a great thing to do.

The govt is asking for a minimum commitment of 6 months. Will you be signing up?

OP posts:
GallopingHighRoad · 11/03/2022 11:06

Certainly looking at it as we have the space though our location is isolated and that may not be good for anyone. I would think being close to friends, family other Ukranian's might be best.

MissyB1 · 11/03/2022 11:07

I am happy to take a woman and child though. We have a spare double room. If they let the adults have work visas they could probably find some sort of work in our town. I have a good friend from Kazakhstan who speaks fluent English and Russian, and is an EAL teacher, so she would be helpful. Lots of Ukrainian young people speak a little bit of basic English though I think, so the language barrier doesn’t have to be a huge issue.

northbacchus · 11/03/2022 11:08

No, but if I had the space and money I would. Wonderful that some people are able to.

BuddhaForMary · 11/03/2022 11:10

No room.

ScribblingPixie · 11/03/2022 11:11

I don't have a spare room but I'm thinking that I could help to crowdfund accommodation & supplies with my local community. I wonder who would be best to approach to think about organising that - a decent letting agency maybe?

Titsywoo · 11/03/2022 11:13

We don't have the space but my SIL lives in Latvia and she already has some refugees staying with her who arrived yesterday

vixeyann · 11/03/2022 11:15

We don't have any spare rooms and live miles from anywhere with no public transport links which I can't see being attractive to anyone in all honesty. What happens after the 6 months... I can't see this being a well thought out Government alternative in all honesty.

Toothsil · 11/03/2022 11:16

No, we genuinely don't have the space. We have our room and DD's room which is tiny, a very small kitchen and one small bathroom.

While I'd love to feel I could help, I know I'd struggle with sharing my home with strangers.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 11/03/2022 11:17

It will be mostly women and children, as a lot of the men are fighting

That's what many expected with Afghanistan, Iran, Syria, etc., except that a disproportionate number of those arriving elsewhere were men ... something I've yet to see a credible explanation for

gazprom · 11/03/2022 11:18

I would like to, although I'd have to move my WFH office to another room so it would be a squeeze.

I'd really like to as although I'm not from E Europe I speak Russian and Polish (ironically not Ukrainian) so language would be not so much of a problem. I have been to Ukraine several times and have some experience of a couple of its major cities.

Lovemylittlebear · 11/03/2022 11:18

We don’t have any spare room as my three children currently share a bedroom and then we have the box room as a dressing room and then office for husband to work from home. However if there was a desperate shortage then I would see what we could do to house a woman and very young child. We could store toys from playroom in garage and make smaller play area in Lounge abs then turn the playroom into a bedroom. Financially we would be stuffed as Covid hit us financially with me being a very small limited company. If there was some sort of funding to help with food cost and water/elec etc and we were guaranteed to have a woman with young baby then yes we would make do if there was a national shortage of places to house women and babies. I would worry about trauma impacting my own children though as this is my career background and aware of issues that trauma can cause so this would also need to be a serious consideration. I wish we had a much bigger home with a granny flat or something :( that we could share out

Cryofthecurlew · 11/03/2022 11:19

I’ve had au pairs who barely speak a syllable of English and it is perfectly possible to manage although I admit attending a language school is very important and not something that exists where I now live. From experience of offering accommodation to various Eastern European au pairs friends of au pairs etc most respect your space as they frequently come from homes where space is limited and they are keen to “repay” what they see as your generous hospitality in any way they can helping with cooking cleaning etc; I never expected them to do this you invite people into your home and don’t attach conditions or have expectations.
I did it for about 5 years and I really enjoyed it.
I have also opened my home to relative strangers from SE Asia and again it’s been fantastic I’ve made life long friends.

Butteryflakycrust83 · 11/03/2022 11:21

@Puzzledandpissedoff

It will be mostly women and children, as a lot of the men are fighting

That's what many expected with Afghanistan, Iran, Syria, etc., except that a disproportionate number of those arriving elsewhere were men ... something I've yet to see a credible explanation for

Because men were being targeted for recruitment, in very violent ways.

If my husband was told 'Join the taliban or we will lop off your head' you can bet I would pack him off to his Aunt Maudes. There is no way me or our DC would be able to make the journey and we would be safer where we were.

ImAvingOops · 11/03/2022 11:21

Call me cynical but looking at this scheme, if you aren't hosting your own family members, the other route is sponsorship by organisations or the public. I suspect the govt are going to offload the costs and responsibility onto host families and are saying 6 months minimum, to deter people from offering. Because, let's face it, having strangers in your home for this length of time is a bit commitment esp with prices rising.

People fleeing a war zone are going to be traumatised - realistically how many are going to be able to go to work and live normally under these circumstances. We are talking about mainly women probably, whose men are fighting. And traumatised kids.

I keep seeing on MN that people wouldn't be so keen to help non white refugees. I don't think this is true. I think the main difference is that Ukraine is in Europe so feels more like Europe's responsibility to aid since it is on our doorstep. And also that the refugees are women and children, not men. That does make a difference. Personally I don't know anyone who wasn't appalled by the withdrawal from Afghanistan and how we abandoned the people who had worked with Britain for years and who were dependent on us for their safety. British people would, in a heartbeat, offer those people safety here. What the govt chooses to do is not always the same as what the people would choose to do.
Most people think we should do more to aid genuine refugees, but that these need to be distinguished from economic migrants. There's no doubt the Ukrainian's are genuine refugees, hence the keenness to offer aid.

LaingsAcidTab · 11/03/2022 11:21

Unlike some of you who are showing great equanimity towards those PPs who have space but who won't offer it up, I am most definitely sitting in judgement of the many "No"s I'm reading where the reasons range from "I wasn't made to feel welcome, so why should I?" to "You have no idea who you'll be letting in - there are thieves everywhere" to "I couldn't deal with sharing my space". For shame.

(To iterate: this is not directed at those who have no space or where there are extenuating circumstances, i.e. children with SEN)

Itawapuddytat · 11/03/2022 11:21

Unfortunately no, as we don't have a spare bedroom. Otherwise we would. My grandparents were refugees during WW2 and I wish I could do more. I am researching other ways I can still help (besides donating money, which I have already been doing)

Justcashnosweets · 11/03/2022 11:24

No. We don't have the space and we definitely don't have the money. We are already struggling to find the money for rising costs of food, fuel and utilities.

JustAnotherApple · 11/03/2022 11:24

Why do the government pass the opportunity to others to help ?

Seen it before with things like food banks - charity run or community kitchens. Now they want us to open our homes why can’t they set something up for these people , access to counselling, accommodation , translation services etc. many many councils in some areas have surplus housing ?

Obviously is people want to help too but is there a government programme as well ?
How will ordinary households have the skills to support traumatised refugees etc

Viviennemary · 11/03/2022 11:24

No. But I would if I was a different type of person.

HereComesSpringAgain · 11/03/2022 11:24

Someone mentioned on a thread

But a young woman in your home could be an advantage

As in you could treat her as an au pair. Childcare/cleaning it would make them feel less of an inconvenience (which is exactly how I would feel) and more on an equal footing. School hols approaching

It just a thought with no offence intended as I'm sure it will be twisted as this is MN!

muddyford · 11/03/2022 11:25

Looking at the conditions would-be accommodators are expected to fulfil, no, we won't be offering.

badlydrawncat · 11/03/2022 11:25

We had a Syrian gentleman staying with us for a few weeks while he waited for his family to arrive and it was a positive experience all round (I assume it was for him too as the whole family are still in contact 😃). I'd consider hosting a Ukrainian single person or couple short-term, say up to 2 or 3 months.

ImAvingOops · 11/03/2022 11:25

While I'm here and we're on the subject of aid, it would be really good if go fund me etc could get a move on and release the fundraising that people have been doing. This isn't yet reaching the people who need it most.

DetailMouse · 11/03/2022 11:27

Call me cynical but looking at this scheme, if you aren't hosting your own family members, the other route is sponsorship by organisations or the public. I suspect the govt are going to offload the costs and responsibility onto host families and are saying 6 months minimum, to deter people from offering. Because, let's face it, having strangers in your home for this length of time is a bit commitment esp with prices rising.

I agree the scheme is designed to discourage take up and the government will be able to say "see we knew the people didn't want them" but if they aren't going into existence home, where are they going to go?

British people seem to think these people deserve help, but only if someone else gives it. The same with costs, if government doesn't "offload", the tax payer pays and really, how much support is there for increased taxes currently?

Motherdare · 11/03/2022 11:27

Tbh I don’t really like having my own family to stay so no, I’ll be completely honest and say it’s not on the cards for me. I am actively trying to help in other ways.

The UK is a long way from Ukraine. Unless they have family here, wouldn’t they rather be in a neighbouring country so they can return home eventually?

Swipe left for the next trending thread