So many pointless and often damaging and downright inhumane rules, and for so, so long.
There were a lot of unknowns in March 2020, but a lot was worked out quite quickly within the first few months and some of the more brutal rules should have been shifted far, far sooner. Support through distressing medical situations, grief and education did not have to be discarded like they were for so long
My rationale on getting through 2020 very quickly became "will this actually spread the virus?" so no our long walks, multiple exercising and illicit picnics went ahead making precisely zero difference to what was going on.
Some rules were just ludicrously inconsistent and obviously for the worse outcome. Legal to meet friends from 5 households in the pub. Ilegal for two families of 4 to go for a walk. (Sept 2020)
My funniest batshit moment was the guy going into the supermarket with his "face covering" of a small sports cone and elastic. I laughed and congratulated him.
I sobbed with happiness as I passed a playground having its padlocks cut off on the morning of Saturday 4th July 2020. Children were already in playing before gate 2 was freed.
Being unable to make reference to times/ distances likely to be over an hour on a major fb running group because it was just too contentious for the admins to manage was bonkers.
I broke the law sitting on a blanket in our mud-pit of a park in Feb 2021 supervising DS (10) and his 9yo friend "exercising" together. Half their class were allowed into a classroom together, but it was illegal for me to supervise a 10yo with SNs playing with a friend and he was not legally allowed contact with a child other than DS2 for over 2 months.
Having had much of my life switched off through most of March 2020- July 2021 including 6 months of my children being denied access to school turned month after month into an endless childhood Sunday with no distinguishing features. Never alone. No variation of company. My then 7yo became depressed from lack of social stimulation by June 2020. Meanwhile his friends carried on in school and moved on.
We didn't benefit from bubbles. Our local friends were teamed up with family. Friends were either too paranoid or too busy to meet. Unless you knew someone exceptionally well, you didn't know if a social invitation would be percieved as a death threat.
All the mask vitriol came close to driving me to agrophobia. I'd force myself out to do the weekly shop in order not to lose the habit. Panic attack after panic attack. I stopped any attempt at face-covering in January 2021 when I left the supermarket, my face covered in bloody scratches when the static from the visor sent hair tickling across my face in my dank, moist breath.
The sea of un-faces on the school playground twice a day. Pointless in the open air. Anonymous. Communication barrier. Complience before sense. What level of judgement are they concealing? The early imagery of masks didn't help. Hours of news footage of exhausted, distressed healthcare staff. The TV was turned off quickly but the imagery was everywhere. Concealing faces does not have positive associations, it's a symbol of danger.
My DC haven't seen their Grandmas since 2019. 2020 made Grandma 1 so insular that she's not bothered about seeing them. Grandma 2 was in hospital when we travelled to her country so only DH was permitted to see her.
It becomes tough to care about society when you're frozen out it for so long.
I cared about a lot of things in the big picture and was repeatedly called a Granny Killer for it. Now it's me and my own first, because no one else gives a shit. Call me selfish long enough and you'll make it happen.
Ironically most of those who love the word "selfish" are those who demanded others sacrifice for them and didn't value things precious to other people.
Healing is slow. I want to move on, but forgetting is dangrous too.