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Original poster

Birthday Party Conundrum

24 replies

isthisit83 · 10/03/2022 18:56

My son is turning 5 this year and we are looking at booking a party venue nearby, but there's a catch. The maximum number of children allowed is 25. It's a flat fee so not per child. We of course do not have to invite 25 children, but I went through the class list with my son and he seems to want to invite about 2/3rds. His class is 30 including him. We also have some non school friends that it would be nice to include, but it's not essential. Anyway, I'm wondering how to play this...
Option A) Chance it and invite every one in the class assuming that at least 5 kids can't come or wont show. If we are under the numbers, we could then invite some non-school friends.
Option B) Narrow it down to 10 children from the class so people don't feel left (as left out?) out and invite all our non-school friends.

If Option B, how do you narrow the numbers down... My son told me he didn't want to invite two boys I know he plays with! Seems like things change socially quite a lot. One month, one kid is his bestie, the next month he doesn't like that kid anymore and he's got a new bestie.

I'm not really wanting to change venues. It's a miniature railway with a party room so not easily substituted. Been wanting to book since he was 2 and don't think it will have as much appeal next year!

OP posts:

underneaththeash · 10/03/2022 19:30

I would invite the whole class (but make it clear no siblings (which will cut down numbers anyway).

Original poster

isthisit83 · 10/03/2022 21:00

Ok yea that's what I'm thinking.

OP posts:

Twillseeker · 10/03/2022 21:21

We had this dilemma, we could only have 25 and have a class of 30. We did 10 from her class, 6 from the next door class (kids she really likes and plays with at breaks, they were in reception together) and the rest friends from outside of school.

I would be careful with inviting everyone and hoping for the best, we only had 1 not come and that’s because they tested positive for Covid. I expected a few declines but we didn’t get any.

I know it’s seen as the done thing to have whole class parties but our school don’t seem to go down that route, mostly it’s either all the girls or all the boys, a mix of both the classes or just some from one but never so that only a few have been left out.

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Stompythedinosaur · 10/03/2022 21:32

I'd invite half the class and some out of school friends.

Startingtomoveon · 10/03/2022 21:46

@Stompythedinosaur

I'd invite half the class and some out of school friends.

This

Rule of thumb is usually to invite either the whole or half the class to avoid upsetting fellow pupils and parents. Inviting 2/3 of the class could cause upset, and friendships are so transient at this age.

NameChange30 · 10/03/2022 21:53

I agree, no more than half the class. Maybe tell DS he can choose 10 friends from school, which allows you a bit of leeway to add 4 extra classmates if there are any that you know he plays with but for some reason doesn't want to invite when you're doing the list with him. (My DS has just turned 5, when we did his party invites he didn't want to invite one of his two closest friends from his class for some weird reason, I invited him anyway - messaged his mum - and Lo and behold DS later decided he did want to invite him after all.)

Then you can invite friends from outside school as well, and if anyone RSVPs to say they can't make it you could always invite extras.

Fabricedesauveterre · 10/03/2022 21:56

Definitely don’t invite all the class, I’ve had a few whole class parties with only 1-3 declines!
Do no more than 10 of the class (or all boys as a way of easily cutting numbers) and give out invites discreetly, by direct message to the parent is best. And try and ask your son not to talk about it too much in school as when I did a half the class party my daughter invited the other half by constantly telling people they were invited!!

WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe · 10/03/2022 22:02

No don’t invite the whole class if they can all be accommodated it will be a nightmare if they all accept! Half the class plus non school friends is the safer option

ChatWithMe · 10/03/2022 22:13

Can't you invite the whole class but say it's RSVP first come first serve only 25 can attend? Then contact the final 5 and apologise the venue is fully booked so they'll be top of the list next time?

Stompythedinosaur · 10/03/2022 22:17

@ChatWithMe

Can't you invite the whole class but say it's RSVP first come first serve only 25 can attend? Then contact the final 5 and apologise the venue is fully booked so they'll be top of the list next time?

you can't do this! Imagine RSVPing to a party invite to find out you have been uninvited!

IAmSantaOhYesIAm · 10/03/2022 22:17

Half the class plus outside friends.
Make it clear that no siblings can be accommodated.

DuggeeHugPlease · 10/03/2022 22:19

Deffo don't invite the whole class if you can't accommodate them. I've sent invites to whole class and not had a single person decline!

Pick 10 - 15 and send the invites out early so you can invite others if you get lots of people rsvping no.

WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe · 10/03/2022 22:36

@ChatWithMe

Can't you invite the whole class but say it's RSVP first come first serve only 25 can attend? Then contact the final 5 and apologise the venue is fully booked so they'll be top of the list next time?

Worst idea ever!!

Original poster

isthisit83 · 10/03/2022 22:41

Ok so one thing i forgot to mention is that the party is planned over the school holidays so seems less likely everyone will be able to come? I'm surprised most have said option B. I was feeling confident I could get away with A!
I was thinking I could give a strict RSVP deadline and anyone who replied after couldn't get accommodated 🙈

OP posts:

Original poster

isthisit83 · 10/03/2022 22:42

@ChatWithMe

Can't you invite the whole class but say it's RSVP first come first serve only 25 can attend? Then contact the final 5 and apologise the venue is fully booked so they'll be top of the list next time?

No way can you do that!

OP posts:

Normandy144 · 10/03/2022 22:46

I would go with option B. We recently held out DD's 6th birthday and out of 20 invited we didn't get a single declining the invitation. Option A is just way too risky because if they all say yes what can you do?

Clymene · 10/03/2022 22:48

@isthisit83

Ok so one thing i forgot to mention is that the party is planned over the school holidays so seems less likely everyone will be able to come? I'm surprised most have said option B. I was feeling confident I could get away with A! I was thinking I could give a strict RSVP deadline and anyone who replied after couldn't get accommodated 🙈

What if they all rsvp by your deadline?

Just invite half the class and some other kids and hope lots of them can't make it (kids parties are exhausting)

Xmasbaby11 · 10/03/2022 22:52

Option B. With A you just know everyone will accept, or you won't hear from loads for ages and it will be stressful waiting to find out!

Dc are 8 and 10 and we've never done whole class parties. Seems the norm to invite from class plus other friends and relatives. Think 10-15 from the class is fine.

50DaysAF · 10/03/2022 22:55

Option B.
Had the same with my child’s nursery.
Invite just group 1 (their group) was 15.
Invite whole nursery (30).
Venue could hold 30 but that wouldn’t allow for my other children to attend! Or any other siblings. I only invited their group, all 15 accepted. All but 1 turned up on the day.

Plus it saves money on party bags

Babadook76 · 10/03/2022 22:57

@DuggeeHugPlease

Deffo don't invite the whole class if you can't accommodate them. I've sent invites to whole class and not had a single person decline!

Pick 10 - 15 and send the invites out early so you can invite others if you get lots of people rsvping no.

My 5yo ds has just been to a party where all 60 nursery and reception were invited (the two classes are combined in school). Every single one turned up. It’s the first party invitation they’d all had since they’ve started school because of Covid etc, so it was a novelty and everyone was so excited that none of the parents could bare to miss it. I agree with maybe 10-15 school mates and then maybe young cousins or neighbours kids he might play with.

Original poster

isthisit83 · 11/03/2022 13:50

@Babadook76 😱😱😱I can't imagine a party that size! Sounds like absolute carnage!

OP posts:

SartresSoul · 11/03/2022 14:14

I wouldn’t bank on 5+ not being able to attend so feel option A is too risky.

Babadook76 · 11/03/2022 14:15

It was :) they’d hired a massive village hall with secure grounds where all the kids could be let looses so numbers weren’t a problem really

Crunchymum · 11/03/2022 14:32

@ChatWithMe

Can't you invite the whole class but say it's RSVP first come first serve only 25 can attend? Then contact the final 5 and apologise the venue is fully booked so they'll be top of the list next time?

Absolutely do not do this

I'd go with 10 from his class (so 1/3) and make up the numbers with other kids you know.

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