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Original poster

Absolutely desperate - elderly parent in hospital, can't get an answer from the ward!

44 replies

A580Hojas · 09/03/2022 21:01

How many times do I try? I've rung 4 times this evening. The phone rings and rings and then someone hangs it up!

OP posts:
Original poster
A580Hojas · 09/03/2022 21:24

It's just happened again. My stress levels are at 100%. I spoke to my Mum at 6 this evening, she was lying down and told not to sit up. She couldn't eat her evening meal, she knocked her water over. She is in pain but hasn't been given any painkillers all day. She could die for lack of care! I am beside myself.

OP posts:
Moneyhunter · 09/03/2022 21:25

Can you go to the hospital?

StringFellow · 09/03/2022 21:26

Can you contact PALS? Not sure how that takes though. Go there yourself? Someone at the main desk might be able to help even if they won’t let you in. I take it she doesn’t have/can’t use a mobile?

Original poster
A580Hojas · 09/03/2022 21:26

No. I am 3 hours drive away and have a very severe chest infection (possibly covid, who knows).

OP posts:
Curlysusie · 09/03/2022 21:27

Ring switch board and ask for site commander. Explain to them what's happened. Good luck

Original poster
A580Hojas · 09/03/2022 21:30

She took her mobile in with her yesterday but forgot her charger. I have spoken to her twice today on the hospital bedside phone, but she is so incapacitated she can't phone out even if the bedside phone allows it.

I have contacted the two people local to her who could go and they say they are trying to book visiting for tomorrow (can't book until the morning). Meanwhile Mum is without pain medication or food/water unless someone has paid attention and actually attended to her.

OP posts:
Shieldingending · 09/03/2022 21:35

Ring the main hospital number and explain? I hope you get to speak to someone soon, this sounds so stressful Flowers

Whisktea · 09/03/2022 21:39

You could try the main switchboard and ask to speak to the ward and if no answer escalate. Sadly if someone is hanging up chances are they're so short staffed they can't spare anyone to answer it- I'd rather they were looking after people but appreciate its stressful not knowing what's going on. That's good some local friends can go to see her tomorrow, hopefully one can take a charger in. I'm sure if she's in pain they will have given her some painkillers by now.

IAmSantaOhYesIAm · 09/03/2022 21:42

Keep trying! And trying snd trying!
As pp has suggested, go through hospital switchboard and ask them to put you through. Each ward will have more than one phone number so ask them to try another one if the first one doesn’t get answered.

TheHoptimist · 09/03/2022 21:44

Which hospital?
Maybe someone local can help?

TheHoptimist · 09/03/2022 21:45

@TheHoptimist

Which hospital? Maybe someone local can help?
Sorry just seen someone can go tomorrow Can anyone go tonight?
Original poster
A580Hojas · 09/03/2022 21:53

Finally got through. As suggested, phoned the switchboard and kicked off a bit. She has been sat up and given paracetamol. Feel so sad that she was left uncomfortable for so long at 90 years old and totally alone Sad. All she's had to eat today is a soft bread and cheese roll.

OP posts:
RosesAndHellebores · 09/03/2022 21:56

Tomorrow am phone the CEO's office and read the riot act.

Whisktea · 09/03/2022 21:58

It's not unusual to not be too hungry, she will have been offered food if she has eaten a roll and they will do toast etc if she's hungry or a biccy, they will be monitoring food and fluid intake. It is horrible to think of them alone in hospital when you're far away, but the night staff will keep an eye on her and then she will have visitors tomorrow.

DeliciousViolets · 09/03/2022 22:14

I really sympathise, my dad was in a similar position a few weeks ago, in itu and not able to hold a phone and went in as emergency so no charger anyway. We would call the ward over and over for hours (5+) to try to speak to someone but they just put the phone down without answering. No one was allowed to visit so we had no way of knowing what was happening. It was so awfully stressful. Could someone local deliver a bag with charger to the hospital? they will then hopefully charge her phone for her.
I do really hope things improve for your mum. Its so hard when you are powerless to help them. I can only assume staff are so very busy delivering care but when you are not allowed or can't be there yourself, you do need some communication and to be able to advocate for your loved ones.

DeliciousViolets · 09/03/2022 22:15

NB We did try PALS but they never returned any messages left on their phone line either.

JuliaSways · 09/03/2022 22:17

My dad has been in hospital for almost a year (he's actually just moved into a care home) and my experience from ICU to general ward is that getting to speak to someone in the phone is near impossible but you just have to keep trying and expect a long wait. Shit as it is.

Original poster
A580Hojas · 09/03/2022 22:20

Thanks for all messages. She would have eaten a proper dinner if she could sit up, she was hungry. I am so hurting for her. When I finally got through to the ward this evening I asked the nurse who has just taken over her care (she's been in for 24 hours now) how I was going to find out about her care plan or speak to a doctor who is looking after her and they told me to phone again in the morning. I left my number but will it be noted down, will anyone phone me? I doubt it. What a shambles.

OP posts:
SylviasMotherSaid · 09/03/2022 22:21

Totally sympathise with you my dad was in hospital last autumn no visitors allowed and unbeknownst to us he had even collapsed in reception while waiting to be seen despite having a letter from his GP to be seen immediately then the whole time he was in trying to get any information was so hard . It a horrible situation and I hope your mum gets better soon

upperdown · 09/03/2022 22:28

I would recommend emailing PALS with an informal complaint (at this stage), they won't ignore it, they will look in to it and try to improve the comms for you. Sometimes there is a form to complete on the Trust's website.

I hope your mum gets better soon and her visitors can find out a bit more tomorrow. Big hugs it must be awful not being able to speak to her.

EmmaH2022 · 09/03/2022 22:31

Honestly, tell your local MP about this. They might do something. Any avenue is worth a try.

Northernlurker · 09/03/2022 22:37

You need somebody to go to the ward tomorrow and insist on seeing her and overseeing what's happening.
I work in the nhs, it's a total shitshow atm and I hate we are keeping family out still. It's just wrong. You are going to have to be really stubborn and awkward. That's what she needs you to be.

LightSpeeds · 09/03/2022 22:52

You can also make a complaint via the CQC website. Our local hospital is also a total shambles. People not getting looked after properly or fed. It's a disgrace!

StringFellow · 09/03/2022 23:16

@EmmaH2022

Honestly, tell your local MP about this. They might do something. Any avenue is worth a try.
Agree with this too, I worked for an MP and would get similar cases, they would escalate to a fairly high level as standard, not a quick resolution but might help!
LightDrizzle · 09/03/2022 23:48

@Whisktea

It's not unusual to not be too hungry, she will have been offered food if she has eaten a roll and they will do toast etc if she's hungry or a biccy, they will be monitoring food and fluid intake. It is horrible to think of them alone in hospital when you're far away, but the night staff will keep an eye on her and then she will have visitors tomorrow.
Did you actually read the OP and additional posts? She didn’t eat her dinner because she was supine and unable to. As nobody noticed or remedied this, I doubt the toast and “biccies” will materialise. Time to step away from Call the Midwife and return to the NHS 2022.

OP, I second a call to PALS; her care is not meeting standards and whether it’s understaffing or a stinky ward culture, nothing will change unless people complain. Good HCPs often want people to complain because they feel it’s the only way managing will listen.

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