For the past year or so I feel like I’ve turned into a right bore and I don’t know why or how I can change it. Not sure if the pandemic has made me more introverted but I feel like I’m dealing with some sort of social anxiety which is absolutely out of character for me. Whenever I see my friends for drinks/dinner etc I just really struggle to laugh naturally (I’m fake laughing half the time even though inside I genuinely find it funny) or come up with something funny to say and get involved with the banter.
I used to be bouncy, would crack up laughing and not give a toss what anyone would think. Now I’m constantly double thinking what I’m doing and what I’m saying and these are around my very best friends who I’ve known practically my whole life and who I share everything with!
I always tell myself ‘just let yourself go, be you’ but I feel like something is stopping me and I don’t know what. I’m absolutely fine at home with my family and the real me comes out so why can’t I just be myself around others?
I’m starting to avoid new people as I never know what to say and most likely my insecurities speaking here but I feel like new people don’t gravitate towards me like they used to.
I was once a big personality within my friendship group and now I feel like I’m the quiet and boring one.
Needing for advice but also needing to vent to strangers.