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Would you tell her?

27 replies

Shouldisayorshouldino · 07/03/2022 19:13

I've name changed for this as some of my previous posts are potentially outing and I don't want it linked.

Someone I knew years back, who now is only a social media friend/acquaintance fancies herself as a bit of a social media influencer. She's big into fitness and posting pictures of herself mostly in the buff. She's recently had a baby and posts alot about that too. Her posts are sometimes a bit much in terms of oversharing and inflating her own ego, but I think that's part and parcel of being an "influencer" these days.
Anyway, I have recently found a thread about her on a gossip site. I came across it by accident and its absolutely brutal. Some of the stuff posted she possibly deserves, but alot of it is out and out bullying. Usually I'd say nothing, if she doesn't know it can't hurt her right? Except people have been screenshotting things of her Instagram and sharing them, quite often including pictures of her baby. Some people have scribbled the face out but some haven't. I get that it's a risk she takes posting photos of her child on her very public Instagram, but I just feel uneasy knowing they are there when she potentially doesn't.
My main reason for not telling her is that as much as she comes across as confident, she has had her share of severe body image issues and eating disorders in the past. She's clearly struggling now with a post partum body and I think the stuff on the thread would tare her down!

Wwyd? Tell her? Leave well alone?

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OhMygodddd · 07/03/2022 19:16

It make a fake Instagram account, screen shot some of the convos and send it to her in messenger so she doesn’t know that someone who actually knows her is aware of it, then she can decide if she wants to carry on or give up influence type things.

HereComesSpringAgain · 07/03/2022 19:17

tattle?

Itsbackagain · 07/03/2022 19:17

Oh gosh it's a difficult one. I think it would be better for someone to tell her before she finds it accidentally or someone tells her nastily or could tou tell her partner?

SleepingStandingUp · 07/03/2022 19:17

I mean I guess the right thing to do is to send her a message, say look I came across this, it's about you and it isn't kind, but they're sharing pictures of baby and I thought you should know.

But she can't stop it, she can't claim back those pictures etc so will it actually achieve anything? Other than making her upset.

Do you have any mutual friends that are closer? Perhaps send it to one of those and say look I don't really chat to her any more, didn't know if she'd handle this, what do you think?

MimiSunshine · 07/03/2022 19:43

I actually wouldn’t tell her. What good would it do?

She can’t stop the bullying, there isn’t anyone she can report it to or have intervene so other than completely vanishing off Instagram there is nothing that will stop the posts about her.

And she shared the baby pics so nothing anyone can do about others posting them elsewhere really.

She’ll just be very upset and hurt by it all. Somethings in life are just better not known about.

I found a thread about an ex reality ‘star’ / influencer on a gossip site recently when I was googling her out of genuine worry about a recent event in her life that silence made it clear something awful had happened. I was invested 🤷‍♀️😊

The thread about her on the gossip site is awful, lots of arm chair psychology experts who even when proven wrong in their assumptions, just switch to other awful opinions they’re convinced are true / fact.

I hope the woman never finds the posts, I don’t think anyone should have to read that kind of vitriol about themselves. And anyone who uses that gossip site to just essentially bitch about others should be ashamed.

Shouldisayorshouldino · 07/03/2022 20:05

Yes it's tattle. Its brutal! I'm guessing that's what this site is like in general? I think she would be embarrassed if she knew I'd seen it, alot of the stuff she's being called out on it does seem she is guilty of doing, so I think she would be embarrassed.
I'm going between how damaging it would be to her mental health to read it vs how much id want to know if it was me.
If you Google her name it's the first thing that comes up after her social media pages, so I think it's possible she already knows about it. She is the kind of person who would Google herself I'm sure!

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mathanxiety · 07/03/2022 20:11

You live by the sword, you die by the sword, as the saying goes.

Telling her will do no good. The pictures are already out. She can't take any of it back.

MimiSunshine · 07/03/2022 20:39

Would you really truly want to know though? What would knowing achieve?

She’ll probably get horrible DMs too or at least negative comments so I doubt she’s completely unaware but you telling her what you found just brings it all out into the open when for all you know she successfully ignores it and blocks it out.

HereComesSpringAgain · 07/03/2022 21:04

ah well she likely does know then

has she changed any of her behaviours that are being talked about or put up memes referencing that behaviour?

3luckystars · 07/03/2022 21:05

Don’t open your mouth!!!

pupcakes · 07/03/2022 21:45

Tattle is fucking vile and if she's unaware of that vicious, disgusting website, then good. DON'T TELL HER!

pupcakes · 07/03/2022 21:46

Let her stay blissfuly ignorant. Also I get that its worrying they share photos of her baby, but that's part and parcel of putting them online. I'M 100% don't tell her about Tattle.

LoopyDream · 07/03/2022 21:52

@pupcakes

Tattle is fucking vile and if she's unaware of that vicious, disgusting website, then good. DON'T TELL HER!
It’s full of bitter women who can’t handle anyone being an influencer. They go against their very own rules all the time and have no contempt for anyone. I hate it, it needs to be removed. It is harmful and only a matter of time before someone kills themselves over the shit put on there about them.
Eims88 · 07/03/2022 21:57

If she's an influencer then I'd just assume she's aware. It seems to (unfortunately) come part and parcel with the job now.... but Christ it is brutal!!! I went on once after seeing a Twitter thread about it, and was honestly gobsmacked and some of the stuff people were saying. No idea why people think it would be ok to be so nasty about others, or even why they could be bothered!

HereComesSpringAgain · 07/03/2022 22:02

its not louise thompson is it? she's had a VERY hard time lately. not good if so!

Shouldisayorshouldino · 07/03/2022 22:10

@HereComesSpringAgain

its not louise thompson is it? she's had a VERY hard time lately. not good if so!
No it's not.

Honestly there are alot of people who seem to post regularly on the thread and they are just awful to her. One goes on about how much she wants to see her in real life so she can tell her what she thinks of her. I mean its all keyboard warrior stuff I'm sure, but it's still unnerving!

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Halllyup17 · 07/03/2022 22:18

Leave alone. Part and parcel of making the daft choice to be an 'influencer'. She should know that she'll be subjected to criticism. I can only feel sorry for her child.

Gobbolino7825 · 07/03/2022 23:07

Is she a runner by any chance?

JingsMahBucket · 07/03/2022 23:57

@Gobbolino7825 and others stop being so nosy FFS. Why are you trying to out the poor woman?

JaneJeffer · 07/03/2022 23:59

Don't tell her. Ignorance is bliss.

FBIAgentRossi · 08/03/2022 00:43

I know an influencer who has many threads on there. She posts on her own threads using various user names because the more posts there are saying stuff about her posts and stories the more views and followers she gets because people will watch her stories to see what people are talking about and follow her to stay up to date for the ‘gossip’.

Most influencers know about the gossip surrounding them because they Google themselves.

Peachtoiletpaper · 08/03/2022 00:46

Don't say anything. She might be aware of the site but chooses to ignore it if it's full of abuse. You don't mention anything threatening being said so there's nothing urgent to alert her of. Maybe you could contact the site admin to report the comments, especially the baby pics if you want to try and do something? I wouldn't worry too much about the photos being spread though. They're only ones she has posted herself knowing the risks of them being posted on so presumably she accepts that may happen and they're innocuous photos. I just wouldn't point this out to her as it will probably cause hurt when she can't, as far as I know, really do any more than you can which is to contact the site.

Gobbolino7825 · 08/03/2022 05:18

@JingsMahBucket I only asked, as if it's the person I'm thinking of, they are already very aware.

PinkNails1 · 08/03/2022 05:31

I would screenshot these messages and send them to her. Only because she’s posting photos of her baby on a very public social media platform. She’ll probably continue to do this and the DC’s life will be on the Internet for all to see without his/her consent. It must be awful when you’re a school child or an adult and your life story is available for all to see.

Milomonster · 08/03/2022 08:06

Very sad for her child. Yes, I’d tell her. She probably is aware but, as a friend, I would take it once and leave it at that. I’d also stop looking at her SM and tattle. What an utter waste of time.

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