If your part of an outer group rather than the inner group would you rather not be part of it ?

[LovelyYellowLabrador]

So there’s an inner group that obviously decide to do certain things for example say we are going for a meal on x day at x place then they extend that invite to the outer group
But saying the royal we…
Eg we are going to x restaurant on x date
Would you like to come ?

Would being part of the outer group put you off going to those certain things ? Would you feel like you are not really part today the group

Not really part of the group that should say

It wouldn’t bother me because there are other groups where I am “inner”.

It’s quite difficult coordinating 6+ people. Far easier for 3 or 4 people to pick a date then open it up.

Yes totally get the logistics of what a pain it is say trying to organise a meal out for a larger group

No it wouldn’t bother me and I’d still go. I don’t think it always necessarily means you’re not part of the ‘inner group’ or liked any less, they just may arrange things more often. Bloody hope it doesn’t come across like that either as I quite often organise things with two people then extend to others, one of which is my closest ever friend!

I know what you mean but I think it's ok, some people within a group talk more often / are the planners.

Actually that suits me sometimes, saves the hassle of being the organiser.

I have, dropped out of groups where if I suggest going places/events then it’s always a no but they want to have my company at their events.

Boundaries are good but no only being willing to walk your own path isn’t.

I would be fine with that. Sometimes I'm outer group, sometimes I'm inner group. I would much rather be given a date that I can either attend or not attend than go through a massive performance of trying to find a date that suits everyone in a large group. Sometimes I'm my own inner group in that I will decide to do something on a particular date and will then see if anyone else fancies it. If nobody else can make it then I will still do it on my own (usually things that are only on for a few days like stand up comedy or exhibitions) and I don't get drawn into any discussions about changing date.

Thanks for your thoughts
I think it’s perhaps a group I’m going to duck out of but I appreciate your time and advice

@LovelyYellowLabrador

So there’s an inner group that obviously decide to do certain things for example say we are going for a meal on x day at x place then they extend that invite to the outer group But saying the royal we… Eg we are going to x restaurant on x date Would you like to come ?

Would being part of the outer group put you off going to those certain things ? Would you feel like you are not really part today the group

It helps from an information gathering perspectives to be in the inner group, but other than that the event is what it is so to speak

No, I'd think 'great, someone else is having the hassle of organising / making the decisions' and I just have to rock up.

Yeah I certainly do see all that, it’s impossible then so many say I’m oh I can make that date etc
It would be impossible to get a date
So I totally get that
Just can’t quite put my finger on it but something doesn’t feel right so I’ll spent my precious time and attention where I do really feel a part of it
Thanks for hearing me out tho