Has anyone got Social Services to help with night care for elderly parents?

[DodgyKneesCyril]

Mum doesnt want Dad to go into a care home, but we are at our wits end trying to help her. He "comes alive" in the night despite not walking in the day and manages to get out of bed. It means she is up and down a lot with him.

We are finding out today what SS can offer in the day, but cant seem to get any help in the night. Can anyone give advice re night help?

Thank you.

If your mum isn’t coping then he needs to go into care. I understand the desire to keep him home, but it will cause a problem somewhere along the line - I have experience of this unfortunately .
Have you spoken to SS and told them what your limits are ?
I discovered that the only way to get SS to actually do anything was to pull out and let them fail.

I don't think overnight care is offered except at end of life. Area dependent obviously. You might need to consider a care home.

I worked for a care agency and we provided overnight support a couple of nights a week through social services funding to some clients but it was in specific circumstances and an add on to a package of care already in place so it can be done but it might take some persuading as it’s obviously a lot more costly that daytime care packages - plus not all care agencies have staff willing or able to do nights so, even if the funding is agreed, finding an agency with availability to take your dad on might prove problematic.

I’m sorry you’re in this difficult position, but generally SS care packages for older people go up to a maximum visits 4 times per day. Once people need regular overnight care (other then very end of life) then they have to go into residential care, or pay for overnight carers themselves. There simply isn’t enough money in the social care budget to fund one-to-one overnight care, and almost everyone would prefer that to going into a home.

Try to persuade them to have some respite in a care home for a couple of weeks. In my experience, often people realise then that it’s not the end of the world and are able to accept a residential place.

Private carers or care home

Thank you all so much for your replies xx

He is classed as "end of life" as he had a bad time a couple of weeks ago with infections and we thought this is it. So maybe that will help to add to his care plan.

But it helps to know what we are entitled to, thank you

My friend's mum found a nurse to provide end of life care via our local hospice. I would definitely contact your local one and ask for advice. She is a bank nurse who does nhs and private work and she was amazing.

I'm sorry, it's very hard.

Is he under the district nurses? They may be able to provide night sitters if he is towards the end of life?

Yes, we would offer waking night care with those needs. You might realistically only get 1-2 nights a week though. Emphasise 'carer strain/breakdown' during assessment.

My mum was in exactly this situation in December. The strain of looking after my stepfather was immense. He could only get carers i. 2x daily to get him up and put him to bed. In the end, she phoned SS herself and begged for respite care. He went for 2 weeks, and on the day he came home he collapsed on the floor, she was unable to get him up so phoned an ambulance. He was admitted to hospital where he’s now been for 10 weeks awaiting a bed in a care home. My mum died 2 weeks ago, and I believe the strain of having to look after him had a lot to do with her sudden death.
He’s now stuck in hospital, they can’t find a place for him, he can’t communicate, has no capacity, and doesn’t even know she’s died. It’s one big awful mess.

@Soontobe60

My mum was in exactly this situation in December. The strain of looking after my stepfather was immense. He could only get carers i. 2x daily to get him up and put him to bed. In the end, she phoned SS herself and begged for respite care. He went for 2 weeks, and on the day he came home he collapsed on the floor, she was unable to get him up so phoned an ambulance. He was admitted to hospital where he’s now been for 10 weeks awaiting a bed in a care home. My mum died 2 weeks ago, and I believe the strain of having to look after him had a lot to do with her sudden death. He’s now stuck in hospital, they can’t find a place for him, he can’t communicate, has no capacity, and doesn’t even know she’s died. It’s one big awful mess.

@Soontobe60 my heart breaks for you, I am so sorry to hear you have lost your mum and your family are going through this. It is utterly heartbreaking isnt it xx

Thank you all again for the really helpful answers x

@CorpusCallosum - I will emphasize this, thank you x

Are NHS continuing care involved? They provide funding for medical needs, this can be on top of SS help. It seems like many people don’t know about them.