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Practical advice for full time working parent

42 replies

Steelesauce · 06/03/2022 11:55

So I'm a lone parent of 3. I've always worked 12 hours shifts so have always had days off in the week while the kids are at school to get things such as shopping/cleaning done. I am moving to a management role and will be working 8-4.30 mon-fri.

Shopping, I know I can do online but I do prefer to shop in aldi really. Cleaning, does anyone have any advice on getting it all done? I don't fancy dragging 3 kids (9, 6 and almost 4) shopping every weekend and spending all weekend cleaning. Any tips or time saving ideas? All the practical advice needed!

OP posts:
INeedNewShoes · 06/03/2022 12:47

I'd like the traybake recipes too!

Steelesauce · 06/03/2022 13:04

So many helpful tips on this thread. I'm getting a notebook out haha. Although I've always worked full time, because its been long shifts its seemed more practical as I've had time in the day.

Looking forward to putting some of these into practice, I start in 2 weeks!

OP posts:
dreamingofsun · 06/03/2022 13:08

traybakes - dont really need a recipe - put chicken portions, and whatever vege - onions, peppers, mushrooms, courgettes, tomatoes (all chuncked except for chicken) into baking tray, glug olive oil over and cook on 200 for about 40 mins till chicken is cooked. Add some chopped or sliced spanish sausage about 10 mins before the end - not essential but tastes nice. You can add garlic/oregano/mixed herbs/paprika at the start. you can use sausages instead of chicken but dont use spanish sausage then.

Interested in this thread?

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Tickledtrout · 06/03/2022 13:11

I find online grocery shopping so unsatisfactory and prefer Aldi. Manage it in a lunch break ( v close to office) or if you can leave 30 minutes early one evening your mum might not really notice you were a bit late.
I agree with the cleaner thing. It's only worked once for us with someone who was recommended and worth their weight on gold. Others have just added to my stress. Mine are teens now so less of a problem but basically do a bit every morning, easy mid week meals, keep on top of laundry; daily wash, dry clothes straight into laundry basket for each bedroom, often kids dress straight from the basket.

Steelesauce · 06/03/2022 13:21

Any tips for adding work outs in to all of this? I go gym when the children are at school on my days off too. I've signed up for all at home work outs with my PT but I'm worried I'm going to be juggling so much! Was hoping to do them once I get the children in bed on an evening... Biting off more then I can chew?

OP posts:
Theghostofchristmasarse · 06/03/2022 13:24

Single parent here, teacher, 2 SEN kids and can't rely on them to help much at all, I have to do any chores along with them to get anything done. Work 4.5 days currently but will be going up to full time in September..have worked full time in the past when they were smaller, with a fairly useless ex..I'm very lucky that my mum has the kids every morning and 4 school pickups a week though. She helps by doing homework with them, reading with youngest, has all the logins for the various school bulletins so knows what's going on. She also will do a bit of ironing for me each week, could you pay your mum to do that, or even a load of washing or two a week? Saves me so much time. I pay her 100 a week year round and it's the best money I spend 🤣

Washing, a load a day, dried on a heated airer, backs of doors and another airer, I use one of those octopus peg things and all smalls are in a bag and on one of those, socks in pairs, pants together by person etc.

Cooking, I do a chicken on a Sunday every other week when I have the kids, that feeds us on a Monday which is always busy, and then on a Tuesday the kids stay late with my mum, she gives them dinner and their dad picks them up, so two nights a week I'm not feeding them.leftover chicken is for salads, pasta or curry later in the week.

Always cook lots of jacket spuds, and freeze, so I can whack them in the microwave in the week for easy dinner.

Try to clean every day, just half hour, use TOMM where you have a room a day and then a focus once a month.

I try to tidy every day just a little, also trying to declutter.

I lay out my clothes every night and I get up about 1.5 hrs before I need to leave so I get some time to myself, even if it's drinking my coffee in bed (I've got a one cup coffee maker on a timer next to my bed, I love it!)

I pack a bag for the next morning as soon as we get in, I hate doing it, but everything, change of clothes etc, goes in for the kids, so that I can just grab it in the morning. Every by the door ready to go. Have lists on the back of the door, on a Sunday we check what's needed, calendar on the back of the door too.

Shopping is done on day off currently but I'll have to start doing it on the way home soon, I'll do it on a Friday as I'm done a bit earlier.

Obviously I'm lucky to have term time only, but I do work at night once kids are in bed and also do private work in the holidays, DIY etc too.

I won't lie, it's exhausting. But I feel like we are pretty organised, even with two ASD and ADHD kids who have meltdowns, sensory stuff, school refusal, issues with any demands or doing anything in a hurry, appointments etc...

Basically I manage, just. If I get to the end of the day and can say all fed, no-one dead, I'm happy! (Actually a lie as sometimes I've forgotten to eat dinner 🤣🤦)

Most important, take time for you. A quiet morning coffee in bed while everyone is still asleep, exercise, even if it's 10 mins yoga from YouTube, whatever. I definitely have it easier than some, I love my job and I like having money and a nice house, although I can't afford to actually heat it 🥶 and I always try to plan a break every so often, just going somewhere different or a few days away camping or whatever. Stuff to look forward to, otherwise it's a bloody slog.

BlackCoffeeInAPoolOfSunshine · 06/03/2022 13:31

Robot lawnmowers kill a lot of wildlife especially hedgehogs...

If you get a battery lawnmower (no cable) a 9 year old can use it safely and be very proud of doing such a grown-up task though...

Steelesauce · 06/03/2022 13:35

@Theghostofchristmasarse

Single parent here, teacher, 2 SEN kids and can't rely on them to help much at all, I have to do any chores along with them to get anything done. Work 4.5 days currently but will be going up to full time in September..have worked full time in the past when they were smaller, with a fairly useless ex..I'm very lucky that my mum has the kids every morning and 4 school pickups a week though. She helps by doing homework with them, reading with youngest, has all the logins for the various school bulletins so knows what's going on. She also will do a bit of ironing for me each week, could you pay your mum to do that, or even a load of washing or two a week? Saves me so much time. I pay her 100 a week year round and it's the best money I spend 🤣

Washing, a load a day, dried on a heated airer, backs of doors and another airer, I use one of those octopus peg things and all smalls are in a bag and on one of those, socks in pairs, pants together by person etc.

Cooking, I do a chicken on a Sunday every other week when I have the kids, that feeds us on a Monday which is always busy, and then on a Tuesday the kids stay late with my mum, she gives them dinner and their dad picks them up, so two nights a week I'm not feeding them.leftover chicken is for salads, pasta or curry later in the week.

Always cook lots of jacket spuds, and freeze, so I can whack them in the microwave in the week for easy dinner.

Try to clean every day, just half hour, use TOMM where you have a room a day and then a focus once a month.

I try to tidy every day just a little, also trying to declutter.

I lay out my clothes every night and I get up about 1.5 hrs before I need to leave so I get some time to myself, even if it's drinking my coffee in bed (I've got a one cup coffee maker on a timer next to my bed, I love it!)

I pack a bag for the next morning as soon as we get in, I hate doing it, but everything, change of clothes etc, goes in for the kids, so that I can just grab it in the morning. Every by the door ready to go. Have lists on the back of the door, on a Sunday we check what's needed, calendar on the back of the door too.

Shopping is done on day off currently but I'll have to start doing it on the way home soon, I'll do it on a Friday as I'm done a bit earlier.

Obviously I'm lucky to have term time only, but I do work at night once kids are in bed and also do private work in the holidays, DIY etc too.

I won't lie, it's exhausting. But I feel like we are pretty organised, even with two ASD and ADHD kids who have meltdowns, sensory stuff, school refusal, issues with any demands or doing anything in a hurry, appointments etc...

Basically I manage, just. If I get to the end of the day and can say all fed, no-one dead, I'm happy! (Actually a lie as sometimes I've forgotten to eat dinner 🤣🤦)

Most important, take time for you. A quiet morning coffee in bed while everyone is still asleep, exercise, even if it's 10 mins yoga from YouTube, whatever. I definitely have it easier than some, I love my job and I like having money and a nice house, although I can't afford to actually heat it 🥶 and I always try to plan a break every so often, just going somewhere different or a few days away camping or whatever. Stuff to look forward to, otherwise it's a bloody slog.

My Mum is amazing too, she's more then happy to stick a wash on for me etc. I've actually taken this job so its easier for her as she does so much for me!

I've got a few breaks planned, and I have a decent ad hoc teenaged babysitter who can help when I need a break. I'm sure I'll be absolutely fine but the more advice, tips and support the better!

OP posts:
Tickledtrout · 06/03/2022 13:36

Find it easier to workout in the mornings but that's a personal thing. Keep the habit going. Even if it's just a quick hiit or yoga session.

JudyP · 06/03/2022 14:10

Lots of great advice here mine is much the same as others - I clean at least one thing every night after work
Monday - kids bathroom
Tuesday - dust whole house
Wednesday- kitchen
Thursday - my bathroom
Friday - vacuum and mop whole house
Weekends- bed sheets
Daily - one wash every day so I don't fall behind ( put on a wash every day but also deal with dry clothes -iron/put away otherwise this becomes mammoth task) - quick wipe/tidy in kitchen and bathrooms and dishwasher
Food shop on the way home from work or weekends
Quick 30 minute exercise in the morning before work ( never happens if I leave it to after)
Quick 30 minute dinners after work - meal plan at the weekend for the week

realynotfair · 06/03/2022 15:00

I get my shopping from Asda. We don't have one in our area but they do deliver. Very cheap compared to the other big supermarkets. I always get it delivered on a Sunday evening 6-8pm slot as not many children's clubs then and usually home on a Sunday night so you are set up for the week ahead

Larryyourwaiter · 06/03/2022 15:26

I used to try and do as much as possible when I came home on a Friday. Make sure all uniform is in the wash and clean the kitchen and Hoover etc. then have something easy for tea. So I wasn’t spending all weekend doing it.
It’s a good time of year to start this as the weather improves its much easier to get washing out after work etc.

redandyellowbits · 07/03/2022 10:40

I can't do evening workouts at all, I am way too tired by then. I do mine in the morning before work/school, 30 mins of something per day, and try to fit in a walk during the day as a coffee/lunch break.

Mine are older so I have now started to go out to a yoga class one evening as well, its nice to get out.

Loopytiles · 07/03/2022 11:10

As regards your exercise, this is now a high priority for me!

IME the key thing is identifying regular, realistic time slots each week. Like a PP I find evenings much harder than mornings.

If you can’t leave the home for exercise that makes it hard to get motivated.

Don’t think personal trainer is likely to be the best option/value for money if your opportunities to be out of the home are limited. Something cheap and online, eg Les Mills, or a stationary bike are likely to be better. Or paying for childcare for a couple of hours every weekend to enable you to leave the home for a gym, real life class or outdoor jog.

Loopytiles · 07/03/2022 11:10

Or every other weekend.

Landedonfeet · 07/03/2022 11:34

Single parent here

Can’t recommend early morning exercise more highly

And when I say early, I mean alarm going off 5.45am.

So worth it. Done and dusted before the children even awake.

onwardsandupwards22 · 07/03/2022 12:25

@fitzbilly

I have to be super organized and do a few things religiously every day such as laundry, washing up, packed lunches.

I also prepare a tray bake the night before for the next day's dinner, so it just needs to be put in the oven.

Put all outfits out the night before.

Can you please share some traybake ideas??
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