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Original poster

Two birthday parties for twins?

27 replies

womaninatightspot · 06/03/2022 10:59

Twin girls who are turning 7 soon. One would like a small thing at localish trampoline park 3/4 friends ( her friend did this recently much fun was had). The other one wants a bigger thing at home, we are rural so I thought maybe a treasure hunt/ outdoor stuff through the woods, hot chocolate and toasting marshmallows round a campfire type thing.

There is an overlap on friendship groups so some kids invited to both, would you do this? and if so how? Seperate weekends (birthday is midweek) Worth pointing out they have never had a proper birthday party 4th cancelled due to snow (day out with friends later)5th and 6th were covid. Carpe diem.

Not fussed at all about presents am happy to say no presents or that they will share but people will bring anyway tbh.

OP posts:
JessicaPeach · 06/03/2022 11:02

I have twins and this sounds fine to me. Probably either side of the birthday. I guess they are at the age now where interests are really diverging and it feels a bit rubbish sometimes to have to compromise all the time on what you really want.

Original poster
womaninatightspot · 06/03/2022 11:06

It does feel a bit rubbish to say you have to choose one or the other whereas if they were singletons I'd absolutely let them choose.

OP posts:
pinkpolkas · 06/03/2022 11:10

I think that sounds fine. If you had two kids a year apart who happened to have the same birthday no one would expect them to share a party. Especially when there are maybe different friends involved.

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Daisy4569 · 06/03/2022 11:15

Definitely let them pick their own, they will appreciate it so much as they get older. Making them choose one over the other will just build resentment. It’s a lot in a short space of time but like you’ve said, if they were singletons they’d have their choice.

greenlynx · 06/03/2022 11:18

I don’t have twins but from the outside it sounds really good.
Would both budgets be the same?
Would they go to each other’s parties?

BuanoKubiamVej · 06/03/2022 11:25

I would say have both parties on the same day, and make it easy for invitees to be invited to one or other or both according to whether they are in the overlap of friendship or not. 2 cakes. 2 sets of party bags. Provide transport between the trampoline place and your home and segue one event into the other making it clear that twin2 is a guest at twin1's party and is not the birthday girl there, and vice versa.

Fundays12 · 06/03/2022 11:33

I don't have twins but as a parent of 3 kids if my kids were invited to both parties within a close timeframe as the friendship group overlapped I may well have to say no. Its not because I am mean but I am unlikely to be able to take one child to both events in a close timeframe.

amylou8 · 06/03/2022 11:35

I think I'd do both events on the same day as joint parties. Two friends each to trampolining, then take all 6 back home for bigger part with a jointly invited guest list. I think it would get a bit complicated otherwise.

UseOfWeapons · 06/03/2022 11:47

I think this is a lovely idea. I have a close friend who has twins, and she wouldn’t do this, she’s very much engrossed in the notions of them dressing the same, having the same things…despite the fact they are completely different personalities. You sound like a very thoughtful, and loving mother.

DDivaStar · 06/03/2022 11:49

Sounds fine. Just make sure the invites stipulate X's party and possibly confirm verbally so invitees are not confused.

nosyupnorth · 06/03/2022 11:53

I would say if you are going to do them then do them same day a morning/afternoon thing (with the smaller party first so that you avoid the situation of some guests getting the impression of not making the cut for the second party).

Doing two weekends close together makes things difficuclt for those friends with both kids, their families might have other weekend activities that they can skip/reschedule once for a party but not twice so close together.

forrestgreen · 06/03/2022 11:55

Can you afford to invite the same people to both. Am trampoline then back to yours for food and games?

NuffSaidSam · 06/03/2022 12:00

I wouldn't do both on the same day. The kids arriving for the second part are going to feel left out that they weren't at trampolining. The birthday girls are still going to end up sharing one party, albeit with two parts. The one who wants the trampoline party with her close friends is going to have her sister's friends there as well/in place of her friends. It will be lot to cope with for the birthday girls and guests at both parts, sounds like a recipe for over excited, worn out children.

Have them on two separate weekends, either side of the birthday or even further out than that. Let them each have a day to themselves with what they want.

Rrrob · 06/03/2022 12:06

I have twins and will do shared parties for a while (they are about to turn 2). When they are older we will definitely do 2 parties if that’s what they want, that’s what would happen with siblings so seems fair.

Clockbookbeast · 06/03/2022 12:16

I did this for a few years one weekend before and one weekend after birthday then we did family birthday tea on actual date.

Viviennemary · 06/03/2022 12:21

I don't think same day is a good idea. But they should be allowed separate parties if that's what they want.

Original poster
womaninatightspot · 06/03/2022 12:26

I couldn't invite all to both things. Partly because cost and partly because transport. Trampoline place is half an hour away from village so with four friends I can pick everyone up and drop them off, makes it easy for other parents. I reckon trampolining will be a 4-5 hour thing. Bounce, eat, bowling for after then travel on top.

Absolutely too much to do all in one.

For the bigger thing I'm very easy about siblings staying/ playing / getting a party bag which would be made clear on the invitation. Joys of living somewhere small is you know who has siblings/ who will want to drop and run/ who will want to stay etc from other parties so it's easy to plan.

OP posts:
Original poster
womaninatightspot · 06/03/2022 12:28

@Clockbookbeast

I did this for a few years one weekend before and one weekend after birthday then we did family birthday tea on actual date.
We always have a birthday tea on the day which is when we do cake etc. Fancy cupcakes for parties which is easier.
OP posts:
babybluegirl · 06/03/2022 12:29

Mother of 14 year old twin girls- if thats what they want go for it

Original poster
womaninatightspot · 06/03/2022 12:32

@UseOfWeapons

I think this is a lovely idea. I have a close friend who has twins, and she wouldn’t do this, she’s very much engrossed in the notions of them dressing the same, having the same things…despite the fact they are completely different personalities. You sound like a very thoughtful, and loving mother.
I know a twin mum like this, she is lovely but her girls are 11 now and I can never remember who is who as they are still wearing identical outfits. My girls are v. good friends but they are very different. Logistically they do have to share a lot a room, after school activities etc. So I do think it'd be nice to let them choose a day each.
OP posts:
luckylavender · 06/03/2022 14:55

@BuanoKubiamVej

I would say have both parties on the same day, and make it easy for invitees to be invited to one or other or both according to whether they are in the overlap of friendship or not. 2 cakes. 2 sets of party bags. Provide transport between the trampoline place and your home and segue one event into the other making it clear that twin2 is a guest at twin1's party and is not the birthday girl there, and vice versa.
You can't do that. Parents would not be able to attend both & surely they wound want to attend each other's. And the OP says there was a crossover.
seasaltstripes · 06/03/2022 15:07

I have B/G twins. They're teens now, but over the years we have done joint parties and individual ones depending on what they wanted at the time. Joint ones were mostly whole-class affairs (they had a lovely primary class). Individual parties the guest lists didn't really overlap, but I don't see why it would be a problem if they did. I think twins, like any other children, should be able to have their own party if they want.

TheOccupier · 06/03/2022 15:12

The twins I know have joint parties but each have their own cake (and we sing twice!) - they are slightly younger though, and are happy with that (they also choose to pool all of their presents!). I think it sounds fine to do separate events if that's what they want.

ladygindiva · 06/03/2022 15:13

@amylou8

I think I'd do both events on the same day as joint parties. Two friends each to trampolining, then take all 6 back home for bigger part with a jointly invited guest list. I think it would get a bit complicated otherwise.
I have twins and I would do this, keep it all to the same day but have 2 events that run together.
Globaluser · 06/03/2022 15:14

My twins were born on different days so when older they will be having different day birthdays. I think it’s great. They will each have their own individual tastes and friends so will budget for 2 parties

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