If i died, the sheets would never be washed
Same. Also clothes as I am the only one who ever operates the washing machine. In fact the whole house would be cold, filthy and possibly repossessed if I died as DH is completely clueless on pretty much every domestic front including:
Car MOT and servicing
Car, household and travel insurance
All food and household shopping, meal planning and cooking. Even thinking of what to have for dinner. It's a huge deal if he produces a toast-based meal once a week when I am just too wiped out to cook after a 12 hour working day.
Cleaning. We do have a weekly cleaner but she doesn't e.g. wipe door handles and light switches, sweep the porch, wipe dust and fingerprints off the front door, descale the kettle, clean the inside of the fridge or wipe the cutlery drawer when it gets all crumby, or inside the bathroom cabinets when the gunge builds up on the shelves. Lots of other small jobs like this inside and outside the house that need doing regularly. Not sure it would even occur to DH that this sort of thing ever happens or needs to be done
Cleaning windows. I do now make DH do the kitchen skylights once a year as I can't physically reach them, but oh my god the palaver.
All household admin - DH wouldn't know how to pay a bill or who to pay it to. He has no idea who any of our utilities providers are.
Arranging any tradesmen or repairs. DH's only role in this is to try and say we need more quotes once I've managed to get someone to actually turn up and come up with a price.
Fixing the boiler/arranging repairs/setting the heating timer. DH has no idea how to even repressurise the thing.
Decorating - it took 6 years to get him to help me decorate one room.
Putting together IKEA furniture - a friend and I used to help each other with this as neither had a DH inclined to or able to help.
Putting a new toilet roll on after using the last one and then placing the old one in the bin
Noticing when towels have gone damp and smelly and changing them rather than using the same one for days on end
Arranging all childcare and drop off and collection of dc at or from said childcare at 7.30 am and 6 pm regardless of own horrendous commute
All clothing and household purchases; noticing when the dc need haircuts, coats or new pants...
Maintaining all friendships and arrangements to meet up, go out for dinner etc - if it was left to him we'd never go anywhere or speak to anyone
Anything at all to do with dc's education and health, from arranging dental check ups to getting their essential vaccinations, putting them in for the 11+ exams or paying their university accommodation fees
All phone and internet contracts. All computers, routers, TVs, netflix subscriptions etc.
He's fairly good at
booking theatre and cinema tickets
putting the bins out (although I have to be the font of all knowledge on collection days, and apparently only I can book a tip visit)
putting the laundry away once I have collected, washed and dried it
washing up after meals (although I have to wipe all the surfaces down as his standards are somewhat agricultural)
emptying the dishwasher and bringing me a cup of tea if he is first up in the morning
mowing the lawn
buying his own clothes and shoes (!)
He is actually a lovely man. Probably my own fault as I have allowed it to happen over the last couple of decades and am the first to admit I like to be in control of my own environment and money. However we both have intense and demanding jobs, and it was absolutely exhausting when the dc were small. Less so now as only one older teenager left at home.